Creative Suffering or Destructive Suffering?

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 42: Conclusion—

Creative Suffering or Destructive Suffering?

It’s clear that there is a typical way to respond to suffering. That typical way does not typically factor God into the equation.

It’s equally and biblically clear that there’s a better way, God’s way to respond to suffering. We can face suffering face-to-face with God and we can empower our spiritual friends, parishioners, and counselees to do so if we will follow a biblical theology of suffering—a sufferology.

This biblical sufferology uses sustaining trialogues to help our spiritual friends to move from candor, to complaint, to cry, to comfort.

It uses healing trialogues to encourage our spiritual friends to move from waiting to wailing, to weaving, to worshipping.

Biblical sufferology helps us to find God in the midst of our suffering, to glorify God by how we respond to suffering, and to become more like Christ as we face our suffering.

Select Bibliography of Biblical Sufferology

Adams, Jay E. A Theology of Christian Counseling: More Than Redemption. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979.

Aden, L. “Comfort/Sustaining.” Pages 193-195 in The Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling. Edited by R. J. Hunter. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1990.

Eyrich, Howard and William Hines. Curing the Heart: A Model for Biblical Counseling. Ross-shire UK: Christian Focus, 2002.

Graham, L. K. “Healing.” Pages 497-501 in The Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling. Edited by R. J. Hunter. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1990.

Kellemen, Robert. Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007.

Kellemen, Robert. Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Third revised edition. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2007.

Kellemen, Robert. “Spiritual Care in Historical Perspective: Martin Luther as a Case Study in Christian Sustaining, Healing, Reconciling, and Guiding.” Ph.D. Dissertation, Kent State University, 1997.

Kellemen, Robert. Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Revised third edition. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2007.

Kellemen, Robert. Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Soul Care Givers and Spiritual Directors. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2009.

Kellemen, Robert. What to Do After the Hug. Crown Point, IN: RPM Books, 2009.

Keller, Timothy. “Puritan Resources for Pastoral Counseling.” Journal of Pastoral Practice 9, no. 3 (1988): 11-44.

Lake, Frank. Clinical Theology. London: Darton, Longman & Todd, 1966.

Lewis, C. S. The Problem of Pain. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1962.

Powlison, David. Seeing with New Eyes: Counseling and the Human Condition through the Lens of Scripture. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2003.

Powlison, David. Speaking the Truth in Love: Counsel in Community. Winston-Salem, NC: Punch Bookstore, 2005.

Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2002.

Waite, Terry. Taken on Trust. New York: Harcourt, Brace & Co., 1993.

Wangerin, Walter. Mourning Into Dancing. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992.

Be Still My Soul

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 41: Be Still My Soul

What about you? We’ve explored how we can journey with others helping them to worship God in the midst of suffering. But what about you?

Whether you are reflecting on your past suffering or experiencing current grief, here are a few suggestions and questions. I’ve designed them to help you to move from cistern digging to worshipping God your Spring of Living Water.

Don’t try to address every suggestion. Pick a couple that connect with you.

My Worship Journey

You have two choices in suffering: digging broken cisterns that hold no water, or drinking from God your Spring of Living Water (Jeremiah 2:13). How can you drink from God?

In your suffering, what does it look like for you to admit your insufficiency and cling to God?

What do you do with the ache in your soul caused by your suffering, grieving, and loss?

What false lovers of the soul and sinful idols of the heart are you tempted to wed yourself to when you try to face suffering without facing God?

Are you crying out to God? Longing for God? Straining to glimpse the face of God?

What do you want more, God or relief?

How are you finding God even when you don’t find answers?

How are you walking with God in the dark and finding Him to be the light of your soul?

How are you using your suffering as an opportunity to know God better?

How are your problems influencing your relationship to God?

Problems can either shove us far from God or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him. Which direction do you seem headed?

What would it look like for you to say with the hymn writer, “Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain”?

What would it look like for you to say with the hymn writer, “Leave to thy God to order and provide; In every change He faithful will remain”?

What would it look like for you to say with the hymn writer, “Be still, my soul: the best thy heavenly Friend, Thro’ thorny ways leads to a joyful end”?

Like Asaph, how could you reflect on your grief and conclude, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you (Psalm 73:25)?

Like David, how can your grief create God-thirst? “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

How is your grief opening your hands to God?

Suffering’s ultimate goal is worship. Suffering’s ultimate goal is knowing and worshipping God as our Spring of Living Water—our only satisfaction and our greatest joy. How are you doing as you journey toward the goal?

What's Next?

We’ve come near the end of our journey. But your journey of grieving and growing will continue. In our final posts, we’ll reflect back and ponder how our journey thus far can impact your continued walk with God.

Clinging to Christ

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 40: Clinging to Christ

How do you help others to worship God in the midst of suffering? There are many effective ways to journey with people toward wanting God more than wanting relief. We’ll focus again on trialogues: three-way conversations between us, our friend, and the ultimate Spiritual Friend: Christ.

Sample Worship Trialogues

Consider some sample biblical trialogues to assist people to find God even when they don’t find answers. Let’s explore some biblical trialogues that lead to worship in the midst of suffering—to suffering face-to-face with God.

“Satan wants to use suffering to cause us to doubt God and turn to false idols of the heart. In what ways have you faced such temptation? How are you overcoming them?”

“As difficult as your suffering is, what lessons are you learning about your desire for God?”

“Facing his suffering, Asaph said, ‘Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you’ (Psalm 73:25). In what ways are you responding to suffering like Asaph?”

“Paul’s suffering drove him to want to know Christ. What is your suffering driving you to want?”

“How have you been able to worship God in the middle of this?”

“What would it be like to worship God as you go through this?”

“In what ways is God drawing you nearer to Himself through your suffering?”

“What would it be like for you to turn to Christ in the middle of this?”

“How is all of this helping you to cling to Christ, to depend on Him, to thirst for Him?”

“Who do you suppose is watching you and wondering, ‘How’s she/he doing this? Why does she/he still cling to Christ?’ What would you tell them?”

What About You?

Join the journey against next time as we apply worship to your life.

Foundations for Soul Care: A Christian Psychology Proposal

Foundations for Soul Care: A Christian Psychology Proposal

· Author: Eric L. Johnson, Ph.D.
· Publisher: IVP Academic (September, 2007)
· Category: Biblical Counseling, Christian Psychology

Discerning Reader Editorial Review

Reviewed 04/23/09 by Bob Kellemen, Ph.D.

Recommended: A core text that expands the conversation regarding what makes Christian psychology truly Christian and biblical counseling truly biblical.

Review: What Makes Christian Psychology Truly Christian?

Writing before the advent of modern secular psychology, Old Testament scholar and church historian, Franz Delitzsch, noted that “biblical psychology is no science of yesterday. It is one of the oldest sciences of the church” (A System of Biblical Psychology, 1861, p. 3).

His assertion is vital to remember before any knee-jerk reaction to the subtitle of Eric Johnson’s book, Foundations for Soul Care: A Christian Psychology Proposal. It is not oxymoronic to link “Christian” and “psychology,” or “biblical” and “psychology.”

Dr. Eric Johnson is Professor of Pastoral Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and Founding Director of the Society of Christian Psychologists. Dr. Johnson has committed his life and ministry to the epic task of answering one foundational question. “What would psychology look like if it were built solely upon a Christian understanding of human nature?

Foundations for Soul Care provides his answer, his opus. For Johnson, “psychology” is the study of the soul in order to care for the soul based upon the inspired wisdom of the Creator of the soul.

Wisdom, as Solomon uses it in Proverbs, is what Johnson offers in Foundations. Johnson combines scriptural interpretation, the history of Christian soul care, and astute life observation to develop a deep, thinking, intellectual, complex (in the best senses of those words) approach to Christian psychology.

Yet, like Proverbs, Johnson’s work is eminently practical in its purpose. He shows how biblical insights about human nature lead to Christlikeness—maturity in reflecting the Creator of human nature. Thus, Foundations refuses to offer a humanistic perspective. Rather, Christian psychology, in the hands of Johnson, is all for the higher (highest) purpose of glorifying God by helping others to reflect God’s glory.

Johnson writes courageously. He places himself outside any one “camp,” which, of course, means that those from all the various camps may take issue with him (and take aim at him) for assorted reasons. Positively, Johnson’s deep thinking should motivate members of every “camp” toward profound reflection.

Johnson presents a detailed overview of the reigning paradigms in the field of Christian counseling. Building on their respective strengths, he seeks to move beyond the current impasse in the field to develop a more unified and robustly Christian understanding. He proceeds to offer a new framework for the care of souls that is comprehensive in scope, and flows from a Christian understanding of human beings. The intended end result is a distinctly Christian version of psychology: understanding people, diagnosing problems, and prescribing God’s solutions—biblically.

As a professor, speaker, and writer on soul care and spiritual direction, I highly recommend Foundations as a core text that expands the conversation regarding what makes Christian psychology truly Christian and biblical counseling truly biblical. Readers won’t agree with every point, but with eminent scholarship Johnson thoroughly addresses every point worth discussing. All serious Christian teachers, students, and practitioners in the fields of psychology, counseling, soul care, and spiritual direction need to engage this text thoughtfully.

Mourning Into Dancing

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 39: Mourning Into Dancing

Problems can either shove us far from God or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him. So in suffering leading to worship, we ask a core soul care question, “How are these problems influencing your relationship to God?”

Worship and the Hymn

As the hymn writer poetically states it:

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: the best thy heavenly Friend,
Thro’ thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Worship and the Word

Many passages support the concept of worship in the midst of suffering and worship as the end result of suffering. This has been the experience of saints throughout Biblical history.

Asaph, reflecting on his suffering, concludes, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you (Psalm 73:25).

David concurs, as his suffering creates a God-thirst. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2).

Peter, in the New Testament, explains the purpose of problems, teaching that they come so that our faith in God may be refined, then concludes with these words about suffering’s significance:

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filed with an inexpressible and glorious joy” (1 Peter 1:8).

Peter’s message reminds us of Paul as he looks back upon a lifetime of suffering and says:

“I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death” (Philippians 3:8, 10).

Mourning into Dancing

In suffering, God is not getting back at you, He is getting you back to Him.

Throughout Mourning Into Dancing, Walter Wangerin explains that suffering and death are meant to teach us our need again.

“The actual experience of dying persuades the little god that he is finite after all” (Wangerin, Mourning Into Dancing, p. 76).

Suffering opens our hands to God. It was Augustine who declared, “God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full—there is nowhere for Him to put it.”

God makes therapeutic use of our suffering. Suffering, as Martin Luther taught, creates in the child of God a delicious despair. Suffering is God’s putrid tasting medicine of choice resulting in delicious healing. Healing medicine for our ultimate sickness—the arrogance that we do not need God. The arrogance that anything but God could ever satisfy our soul.

Suffering’s ultimate goal is worship. Suffering’s ultimate goal is knowing and worshipping God as our Spring of Living Water—our only satisfaction and our greatest joy.

Guiding Others to the Spring of Living Water

Easy words to type…harder words to live. Journey with us again in our next post as we ponder how to guide others toward God the Spring of Living Water even when life is like a parched and barren wilderness.

Problems Are Opportunities

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 38: Problem Are Opportunities

“Worship;” it’s such a common word. But what is worship really. Specifically, in the midst of grief, what does worship look like?

Subtle Contrasts

Let’s start with some subtle contrasts.

In cry, you cry out for God’s help; in worship, you cry out for God.

In comfort, you receive God’s strength; in worship, you experience God.

In wailing, you long for heaven because you’re tired of earth; in worship, you long for God because you miss Him.

In weaving, you glimpse God’s perspective; in worship, you glimpse the face of God.

Worship While Grieving

So what is worship in the context of suffering?

Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief.

Worship is finding God even if we don’t find answers.

Worship is walking with God in the dark and having Him as the light of our soul.

Terri’s Story: "Not Everything's Perfect!"

A while back I received an email from Terri (see previous posts in this series). She began with words I’m sure she typed with a smile.

“Guess what? Not everything’s perfect at our new church.”

I smiled knowingly as I read her first line.

She continued, “But God is. God is perfectly beautiful. Perfectly holy. Perfectly in control. Perfectly good.” Terri is glimpsing the face of God. She’s worshipping.

Every problem is an opportunity to know God better and our primary battle is to know God well. Thus in suffering leading to worship, we ask a core soul care question, “How are these problems influencing your relationship to God?”

Problems can either shove us far from Him or drag us kicking and screaming closer to Him.

Worship and the Word

Join the journey again tomorrow as we explore worship from God’s Word.

Loving God or Pursuing False Lovers?

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 37: Worshipping—Loving God or Pursuing False Lovers of the Soul

As we progress through the stages of healing, we are transformed from regrouping to waiting, from deadening to wailing, from despair to weaving, and from digging cisterns to worshipping.

Digging Cisterns Described

God describes digging cisterns in Jeremiah 2:13.

“My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

In the ANE, you had two choices for life-giving water. You could settle near a clear, pure, bubbling spring of fresh underground water, or you could dig a cistern which captured run-off water and held it in a stagnant well that often cracked leaking in more filth and leaking out water.

Spiritual cistern digging involves rejecting God as our Spring of Living Water because we see Him as unsatisfying, unholy, and unloving. Once we reject the only Being in the universe who could ever satisfy the last aching abyss of our souls, we choose to turn to substitutes—worthless, putrid substitutes—cisterns.

Back in the Casket

Put yourself back in that casket. You’ve tried to claw your way out through immediate gratification. Your bowl of soup may be power, prestige, pleasure, pleasing people, or any multitude of pathways of relating. Since soup never satisfies the soul, only the stomach, you still ache. What to do with your ache?

Well, if you face it, then you have to admit your insufficiency. That simply will not do. So you deaden it. You block out and suppress the reality of your hungry heart. Keep busy. Fantasize. Climb the corporate ladder. These tricks of the godless trade work no better than immediate gratification. Somewhere, deep down inside, despair brews. “Is this all there is?”

Now what? If you follow the beaten path, then despair guides you to false lovers. Idols of the heart. Digging cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water. Something or someone who will rescue you from agony’s clutches—or so you imagine.

Is That All There Is?

Now what? Our choice is clear. Tomorrow we entice with the clear choice—worshipping God in the midst of life’s losses.

Seeing with New Eyes

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 36: Seeing with New Eyes

What about you? We’ve explored how we can journey with others helping them to entrust themselves to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective. But what about you?

Whether you are reflecting on your past suffering or experiencing current grief, here are a few suggestions and questions. I’ve designed them to help you to move from despair to hope, from darkness to light—seeing life with spiritual eyes instead of eyeballs only.

Don’t try to address every suggestion. Pick a couple that connect with you.

My Weaving Journey

How could you look at your suffering not with rose-colored glasses, but with faith eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision?

What might God be up to in your suffering?

God’s story doesn’t obliterate your painful story, but it gives it meaning. What meaning could you find as you weave God’s story into yours?

C. S. Lewis famously noted that, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, but shouts to us in our pain. Pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” What is God shouting to you in your pain?

How could you apply Genesis 50:19-20 to your life? “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

How could God be weaving good out of the evil you are experiencing?

Life hurts. Wounds penetrate. Without grace narratives, hopelessness and bitterness flourish. With a grace narrative, how could hope and forgiveness flow and your grace perspective grow?

“In what ways do you think the world, the flesh, and the devil are trying to creep into your thinking (1 John 4:1-6; Galatians 5:13-21; Ephesians 2:1-3; 6:10-18)?”

“What passages have you found helpful in gaining a new perspective on your suffering?”

“How could you relate Paul’s perspective on his suffering in Romans 8:17-28 to your life? How could taking on his perspective alter your perspective?”

“What dead things do you anticipate Christ resurrecting? What will your resurrected life look like it?”

Nourishing the Hunger of Your Soul: Introduction

Nourishing the Hunger of Your Soul: Introduction

Be nourished by some core concepts from the Introduction to Soul Physicians.

“What would a model of biblical counseling look like that was built solely upon Christ’s gospel of grace?” (Soul Physicians, p. 3).

“Love is not enough. Truth is not enough. Love and truth must kiss” (Soul Physicians, p. 5).

“My passion is to infuse biblical counseling with Christian theology to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth” (Soul Physicians, p. 7).

“To what degree do you have confidence in the relevancy and potency of God’s Word in your life?” (Soul Physicians, p. 8).

“How do you evidence your confidence in God’s Word to help you when you are suffering?” (Soul Physicians, p. 8).

“How do you evidence your confidence in God’s Word to help you to have victory over sin and to grow in sanctification?” (Soul Physicians, p. 8).

“Do you agree or disagree that modern Christian counseling has lost its confidence in the relevancy and potency of God’s Word?” (Soul Physicians, p. 9).

“To what degree is your biblical counseling theologically informed?” (Soul Physicians, p. 9).

“What could you do to infuse your soul care and spiritual direction with Christian theology?” (Soul Physicians, p. 9).

“What makes biblical counseling biblical? What makes soul care and spiritual direction Christian?” (Soul Physicians, p. 9).

For Two Days We Walk As One: Walk for the Cure!

For Two Days We Walk As One:

Walk for the Cure!

Dear Friends and Family,

I will be participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. This is such an important cause because this year, an estimated 40,000 women will die from the disease. Breast cancer takes another life every 14 minutes. Another woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 3 minutes. An estimated three million women are living with breast cancer. One million of them don't yet know it.

As part of the event, I have pledged to raise $2,000. People can make donations on my behalf, so that together we can reach this goal. With the donations raised, the Avon Foundation will provide support and resources for women affected by breast cancer. This will help so many people in throughout the country. Any amount you can give is great; I just appreciate your support.

It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make a donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message. Whatever you can give will help! I truly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Thank you for supporting me always, but especially in this challenge; you really do make a difference.

Please feel free to forward this email to friends who would be supportive of this vital cause. Donate safely and quickly online at my home page.

Click here to visit my personal page.

Thanks so much!

Bob

Are You Ready to Learn What to Do After the Hug?

Are You Ready to Learn What to Do after the Hug?

You care deeply. But perhaps sometimes you struggle to know what to do after the hug. Learn how to care like Christ--how to change lives with Christ's changeless truth.

In What to Do After the Hug, I've condensed all of Soul Physicians and all of Spiritual Friends in fifty pages. In fact, for good measure, I wove in and condensed Beyond the Suffering, too! In fifty pages, you gain my entire approach to biblical counseling and spiritual formation in miniature!

Think of it as your own refresher course on biblical counseling.

What a great way to equip those you minister to.

The Cost

The cost?

For just $7.50 you receive the fifty-page Word Document What to Do After the Hug as an e-document. It summarizes a Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed model of biblical counseling and spiritual formation to equip you to change lives with Christ's changless truth.

To Order

It’s simple. Order here by PayPal or with Visa or Master Card:

http://www.rpmbooks.org/credit_card_orders.html#hug

Or, phone order with Visa or Master Card to: 219-662-8138.

Or, send a check to RPM Ministries, PO Box 270, Crown Point, IN 46308, for $7.50. (Be sure to include your email address so we can send you your copy of the e-document: What to Do After the Hug.)

Enjoy!

Gain a New Perspective on Suffering

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 35: Gain a New Perspective on Suffering

How do you help others to trust God’s Person, larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective? There are many effective ways to journey with people toward seeing life with spiritual eyes. We’ll focus again on trialogues: three-way conversations between us, our friend, and the ultimate Spiritual Friend: Christ.

Sample Weaving Trialogues

Consider some sample biblical trialogues to assist people to overcome doubt and despair by looking at life with faith eyes.

“In what ways do you think the world, the flesh, and the devil are trying to creep into your thinking (1 John 4:1-6; Galatians 5:13-21; Ephesians 2:1-3; 6:10-18)?”

“What passages have you found helpful in gaining a new perspective on your suffering?”

“When else have you experienced suffering like this? What did you learn about God in that situation? What would you repeat and what would you change?”

“How could you relate Paul’s perspective on his suffering in Romans 8:17-28 to your life? How could taking on his perspective alter your perspective?”

“God promises that all things work together for good for His children (Romans 8:28). What good purposes has God already provided to you or in you through these events?”

“What might God be wanting to accomplish in your life through your circumstances?”

“God is all-powerful, holy, and in control of everything. What impact do these characteristics of God have on you as you face this?”

“What applications can you make from Joseph’s conviction that though people intend things for our harm, God weaves them together for our good?”

“How could you emulate Joseph and forgive those who intended you harm? What would that forgiveness look like?”

“Let’s explore passages on forgiveness such as Matthew 18:21-35; 2 Corinthians 2:3-11; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:8-17.”

“Let’s explore passages on reconciliation and restitution such as Matthew 18:15-20; 2 Corinthians 6:11-13; 2 Corinthians 7:8-13.”

“What dead things do you anticipate Christ resurrecting? What will your resurrected life look like it?”

And What About You?

I invite you back tomorrow as we’ll explore how you and I can entrust ourselves to God.

Life Is Bad, But God Is Good

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 34: Life Is Bad, But God Is God

Weaving is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective. Weaving is everywhere in Scripture. We find weaving in passages like John 14; Romans 8; Ephesians 3; Colossians 3; Hebrews 11; and Revelation 19-22.

Joseph's Story

Hear Joseph’s words to his fearful family in Genesis 50:19-20. “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Joseph uses “intended” both for his brothers’ plans and God’s purposes. The Hebrew word has a very tangible sense of to weave, to plait, to interpenetrate as in the weaving together of fabric to fashion a robe, perhaps even a coat of many colors.

It was also used in a negative, metaphorical sense to suggest a malicious plot, the devising of a cruel scheme. Other times the Jews used intended to symbolically picture the creation of some new and beautiful purpose or result through the weaving together of seemingly haphazard, miscellaneous, or malicious events.

Life Is Bad, But God Is Good

“Life is bad,” Joseph admits. “You plotted against me for evil. You intended to spoil or ruin something wonderful.

“God is good,” Joseph insists. “God wove good out of evil,” choosing a word for “good” that is the superlative of pleasant, beautiful. That is, God intended to create beauty from ashes. Joseph discovers healing through God’s grace narrative.

Further, he offers his blundering brothers tastes of grace.

"And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been a famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt" (Genesis 45:5-8).

Grace Narrative

Amazing! I hope you caught the words. “To save lives,” “to preserve,” “by a great deliverance.” That’s a grace narrative, a salvation narrative. Had God not preserved a remnant of Abraham’s descendents, then Jesus would never have been born.

Joseph uses his spiritual eyes to see God’s great grace purposes in saving not only Israel and Egypt, but also the entire world.

I hope you also caught Joseph’s repetition. “God sent me.” “God sent me ahead of you.” “It was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph sees the smaller story of human scheming for ruin. However, Joseph perceives that God trumps that smaller scheme with His larger purpose by weaving beauty out of ugly.

Life hurts. Wounds penetrate. Without grace narratives, hopelessness and bitterness flourish. With a grace narrative, hope and forgiveness flow and perspective grows.

Weaving Truth Into Life

Join the journey again the next two days as we weave truth into life—showing how to use weaving in the dailyness of real life.

To Dream the Impossible Dream: A Clay Pott Named Paul Potts

A Clay Pot Named Paul Potts

*Note: Many readers asked me to reprise this previous blog in light of the newest sensation, Susan Boyles (see yesterday's post). You’ll understand why as you read.

Paul Potts’ mania has swept over Britain and most of the world. In case you’ve been sleeping and are asking, “Who in the world is Paul Potts,” here’s your introduction.

The Nervous Man in the Cheap Suit

Simon Cowell, famous for his biting criticisms of contestants on American Idol, launched a British version called Britain’s Got Talent. One of the first contestants was Paul Potts, a gapped-tooth, portly, shy, unassuming middle-aged man dressed in a cheap suit and working as a mobile phone salesman.

In the video of his initial performance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA), the audience sees a nervous, shuffling, under-confident Mr. Potts waiting his turn. As he arrives on stage and timidly announces that he is there to sing opera, Cowell’s raised eyebrows and look of dismay advertise the fact that he and his fellow judges, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden, expect Paul to bomb big time.

Then . . . then Paul Potts opens his gap-toothed mouth and the sounds that flow out are unbelievable. Passion, melody, beauty, power—they all come tumbling out of this jar of clay, this clay pot named Paul Potts.

As the camera pans the audience, disbelief, shock, and awe can be seen on their faces. Similarly, as the camera shows Cowell, Morgan, and Holden, everyone begins to sense that something unexpected is budding.

Potts’ brief performance is marked by gasps and claps from the crowd and highlighted by a lengthy and enthusiastic standing ovation as he concludes with a killer hitting of the final note.

The Clay Pot Blossoms

In response, the usually vicious Simon Cowell said it simply. “I wasn’t expecting that. I thought you were absolutely fabulous. And you’re selling car phones?”

Cowell’s sidekick, Holden noted, “What we have here is a lump of coal that is about to turn into a diamond.”

The next day, a United Kingdom newscaster added succinctly. “The audience saw a chubby little man in a cheap suit. Then he started to sing.”

Potts moved swiftly through subsequent rounds of the competition and with a rousing, full-length operatic singing of Nessun Dorma he was crowned Britain’s best amateur talent. However, he’s an amateur no more. Cowell himself fronted the money to produce Potts’s first album, appropriately named One Chance.

And Potts himself, what’s his take? His back story includes being mercilessly bullied throughout his school years as the shy, fat kid, working dead-end jobs, and a serious accident four years ago. Then, in early 2007, he flipped a coin to decide if he should compete in Britain’s Got Talent. That one coin flip, that one chance, catapulted Potts to the top.

As Potts’ noted, “Before this, I felt so insignificant. After that first night I realized I am somebody. I am Paul Potts!”

A real rags-to-riches tale, in seven amazing days Paul Potts went from selling mobile phones in Wales to winning Britain’s Got Talent, signing a record deal with Simon Cowell, and fulfilling his life-long dream of performing live in front of the Queen of England.

And Who Are You?

According to another Paul, this one the famous Apostle Paul, we are all cracked pots. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us” (2 Corinthians 4:7).

And what is this treasure? It is “the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ” shining in our hearts (2 Corinthians 4:6). Embedded inside each of us is nothing less than the glorious image of God.

And Who Do You Live For?

Paul Potts said, “. . . I am somebody. I am Paul Potts!” The Apostle Paul proclaimed, “For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake” (2 Corinthians 4:5).

Our rags-to-riches story is based upon Christ’s riches-to-rags story. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Our response is not a million dollar record tour, but an eternally valuable mission. “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

And Who Do You Sing For?

Paul Potts experienced the joy and honor of singing in the presence of Queen Elizabeth. The Apostle Paul invites us to sing before and for the King of Kings. “We know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence” (2 Corinthians 4:14).

We sing, we minister, we offer the cup of cold water, we counsel, we teach, we preach, we serve as a song sung to and in the presence of our listening Savior.
And What Are You Waiting For?

What’s your impossible dream? What did God design you to be, to do?

What are you waiting for? A flip of a coin?

What’s holding you back? Your background? Your past? Your looks? Your suffering?

Take Paul's Counsel

Take Paul’s counsel—the Apostle Paul. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Look to Jesus and unleashed the hidden opera singer. Live for Jesus and unleashed the hidden Sunday school teacher. Serve empowered by Jesus and unleash the hidden poet, the hidden soul physician, the hidden spiritual friend, the hidden writer, the hidden servant, the hidden . . .

See in This Some Higher Plan

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 33: See in This Some Higher Plan

Without Christ and a Christian perspective, we despair. We doubt. We give up any hope of ever making life work, of ever figuring out the mystery of life, of ever completing the puzzle. We trudge on in doubt, despair, and darkness.

Weaving: Grace Eyes

So what’s weaving? Weaving is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective. It’s seeing life with spiritual eyes instead of eyeballs only. It’s looking at suffering, not with rose colored glasses, but with faith eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision.

When Terri returned for her next appointment, I asked her what made the difference in her life, what helped her to turn the corner. She said, “two things, no, two people. Joseph and the Bishop.” Joseph we’ll talk about in a minute. The Bishop we’ll talk about now.

Another Story Must Begin

I had asked Terri to watch Les Mis. There’s a classic scene where the star of the story, Jean val Jean, a paroled prisoner, takes advantage of the Bishop of Digne. Stealing from him, val Jean is captured by the French police. They return him to the Bishop, fully expecting the Bishop to implicate val Jean which would lead to a return to prison without hope for parole.

To the shock of everyone involved, the Bishop says, “But my brother, you forgot these,” and hands him silver candlesticks. The police release val Jean and leave. Then the Bishop says, “by the witness and the martyrs, by the passion and the blood, I have bought your soul for God, now become an honest man, see in this some higher plan.” Val Jean, floored by grace, changed by grace, concludes the scene by singing, “another story must begin.”

Terri, recounting this to me, said, “Now everything that happens to me, I’m looking for God’s higher plan. I’m setting my thoughts on things above—always wondering what God might be up to in this. For me, another story must begin—God’s story that doesn’t obliterate my painful story, but that gives it meaning.”

Weaving in Weaving

Where do we find weaving woven into the fabric of Scripture? That’s our topic for tomorrow.

Is Life Trying to Kill the Dream You've Dreamed?

Is Life Trying to Kill the Dream You’ve Dreamed?

Not since Paul Potts shocked the world with his amazing singing two years ago on Britain's Got Talent, have we seen anything akin to this performance!

Unassuming, unemployed, shy, and a tad nervous, forty-seven-year-old Susan Boyle strolled uncomfortably onto the show's stage. To the smirks of the judges and the disapproving giggles of the crowd, she introduced her dream: to be a professional singer of the stature of Elaine Paige. When the tittering died down, she announced she would sing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

Shock and Awe

The look of shock and awe on Simon Cowell's face as he did a double-take at her talent was worth a million pounds in itself. As Simon recovered, his co-judges, Piers and Amanda, were giving Susan a standing ovation.

Piers told her, "Without a doubt that was the biggest surprise I have had in three years. When you stood there with that cheeky grin and said 'I want to be like Elaine Paige' everyone was laughing at you. No-one is laughing now, that was stunning. I am reeling from shock."

Amanda agreed. "I am so thrilled because I know everyone was against you. We are all so cynical but that was a complete wake up call. It was a complete privilege."

See for Yourself

Watch the amazing video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXX_gMFeWlc&feature=related

God Is in the Dream Resurrection Business

Susan dreamed a dream, refusing to allow life to kill the dream she dreamed.

What dream does life want to kill for you?

What dream does God want to make come true for you?

What dream does God want to resurrect for you?

Who will you believe—the world or the Word? Satan’s lying, condemning narrative, or your Creator’s truth-shall-set-you-free narrative?

Despair Is the Negative of Hope

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 32: Despair Is the Negative of Hope

In the healing process, we’ve moved from regrouping to waiting, from deadening to wailing/groaning, and now we move from despairing and doubting to weaving—perceiving life with grace eyes.

Despairing/Doubting Described

To understand doubting, tract the world’s typical grief and acceptance process thus far. Suffering crashes upon us. In shock, we deny its reality. At some point, our emotions can no longer suppress the truth and we explode with anger. Anger doesn’t get us what we want, so we switch tactics and try bargaining, behaving, and good works. No matter what we try, we can’t manage our loss. Depression sets in, alienation strikes.

At some point, the depression lifts a tad. We figure we have to get on with life somehow. We regroup. We re-enter the game, not with a new heart, but with no other choice. The game’s still rough, it still hurts, so we do what we can to deaden and suppress the pain—maybe workaholism, maybe ministryaholism, maybe counselaholism, whatever.

But like the Shunammite woman, life assaults us again, only worse. None of our strategies work. Now what? What do we do? What do we feel? How do we respond? What do we think? We despair. We doubt. We give up any hope of ever making life work and of ever figuring out the mystery of life, of ever completing the puzzle. We trudge on in doubt, despair, and darkness. Despair is the negative of hope.

Now What?

Our eyes darkened by hope, we need grace-eyes. Return tomorrow to learn about the weaving process—weaving in God’s perspective.

The Glorious Easter Exchange

The Glorious Easter Exchange

John Flavel:

Lord, the condemnation was yours,
that the justification might be mine.

The agony was yours,
that the victory might be mine.

The pain was yours,
and the ease mine.

The stripes were yours,
and the healing balm issuing from them mine.

The vinegar and gall were yours,
that the honey and sweet might be mine.

The curse was yours,
that the blessing might be mine.

The crown of thorns was yours,
that the crown of glory might be mine.

The death was yours,
the life purchased by it mine.

You paid the price
that I might enjoy the inheritance.

John Flavel (1671), from his sermon, The Solemn Consecration of the Mediator, in The Fountain of Life Opened Up: A Display of Christ in His Essential and Mediatorial Glory.

It's Saturday . . . but Sunday's Coming!

It’s Saturday . . . but Sunday’s Coming!

It’s Saturday, the day before Easter. On the Christian calendar, we often forget this day. Yesterday was Good Friday. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday.

On Friday, Jesus was crucified; died for our sins. His followers mourned.

On Sunday, Jesus resurrected; He arose from the dead! His followers celebrated.

But on Saturday, Jesus lay in the tomb; earth groaned. His followers waited, confused.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . .

Holy Saturday

On the church calendar, Saturday is known as “Holy Saturday.” While there are services on Friday and on Sunday, this day is traditionally a day of waiting.

Holy Saturday is a lot like life this side of heaven. We wait. Our final resurrection is sure. Our victory is certain. But this side of heaven, we face death daily.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . .

The Message of Holy Saturday

The message of Holy Saturday is, “Get ready. Something is about to happen. But it hasn’t happened yet.”

Holy Saturday lasts so long. It feels like Sunday will never arrive. The twenty-four hours feel like seventy-four years.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . .

Death still surrounds us. Sin still tempts us. Sickness still wounds us. Suffering still pervades us. Evil still invade us. Satan still taunts us.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . .

Easter Is Coming Our Direction

In Narnia, under the curse of the White Witch, it was always Winter but never Christmas.

For Christians, we live in the sure hope that Spring is always just around the corner; just around the river bend.

Easter has already arrived, and it’s coming in our direction.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . .

While we forever remember the crucifixion, thank God we’re moving toward Easter. It’s coming in our direction, closer all the time.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . . and it’s not far away.

All we have to do is hold on for a little while and Sunday will soon be here.

Saturday may seem like a long time, but that’s only as we count time.

Hold on. Keep believing. Never give up.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming . . . soon.

Hold on for a little while longer.

The Final Victory

Death will not have the last word.

The tomb will empty.

We will celebrate the resurrection.

It’s Saturday, but Sunday’s coming!

The Seven Last Words of Christ

The Seven Last Words

of Christ on the Cross

On this Good Friday, meditate upon the Seven Last Words of Christ on the Cross.

The First Words

“Then said Jesus, ‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’ And they parted his raiment, and cast lots” (Luke 23:34).

The Second Words

“And Jesus said unto him, ‘I say unto thee, Today thou shalt be with me in paradise’” (Luke 23:43).

The Third Words

“When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, ‘Woman, behold thy son!’” (John 19:26).

The Fourth Words

“And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?’ which is, being interpreted, ‘My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?’” (Mark 15:34).

The Fifth Words

‘After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, ‘I thirst’” (John 19:28).

The Sixth Words

“When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, ‘It is finished’”: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost” (John 19:30).

The Seventh Words

“And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, ‘Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit:’” (Luke 23:46).

Living Passionately for God

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 31: Living Passionately for God

What about you? We’ve explored how we can journey with others helping them to long deeply for heaven while living passionately on earth. But what about you?

Whether you are reflecting on your past suffering or experiencing current grief, here are a few suggestions and questions. I’ve designed them to help you to move from deadening to groaning—staying alive to life even when it crushes you to death.

Don’t try to address every suggestion. Pick a couple that connect with you.

My Wailing to God Journey

1. When are you most tempted to deaden the pain of life? How do you defeat this temptation so you’re able to groan to God?

2. Groaning exposes us for the needy people we are. How hard is it for you to admit your neediness—to yourself, to others, to God?

3. God made you a longing, thirsting, hungering, desiring being. What are you longing, thirsting, hungering for and desiring?

4. How do you stay alive to life when it crushes you to death?

5. Reread and meditate upon Philippians 1:23-25. What would it look like in your grieving to apply this passage to your life? “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of your for your progress and joy in the faith.”

6. Wailing says, “I wanna’ go home. This world is so messed up. I ache for Paradise. However, I’m pulling weeds till the day I die!” Write your personal “wailing psalm.”

7. Satan wants life to kill your dreams. What dreams do you want God to resurrect?

8. God calls us to keep longing for Paradise while still pulling weeds even while we live East of Eden. What weeds is God calling you to pull?

9. “If you were to write a thirst Psalm like Psalm 42, how would you word it?”

10. “In Romans 8:17-18, Paul did some spiritual mathematics and reasoned that his current sufferings were not worth comparing to his future glory. As you calculate your earthly suffering and your eternal glory, what conclusions do you make?”

11. “Satan wants to use your suffering to suck the life out of you. How can you connect to Christ’s resurrection power to find new life, new zeal for God? How can you not only survive, but thrive?”

Weaving

Surely we can’t stay forever in the wailing stage. How do we uncover God’s perspective on life? How do we gain the spiritual eyes, the faith eyes to see life with 20/20 spiritual vision again?

We need spiritual laser surgery. It is in the grieving stage of weaving that the Divine Soul Physicians operates on the eyes of our hearts. We visit His office tomorrow to have those cataracts removed . . .

Learn How to Change Lives

Are You Ready to Learn How to Change Lives

with Christ's Changeless Truth?

Do you sometimes struggle to know how to use God's Word powerfully, effectively, and lovingly to change lives?

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http://www.rpmbooks.org/credit_card_orders.html#hug

You will learn how to view the Bible as the foundation for one another ministry through six practical spiritual life principles from God's Word.

You will learn how to use the Bible in your personal ministry through four practical relational competencies for biblical counseling.

Twelve built-in application sections make this the ideal equipping manual.

Be equipped to care like Christ and to change lives with Christ's changeless truth through comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

Spiritual Mathematics

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 30: Spiritual Mathematics

How do you help others to long for heaven and live passionately for God and others while still on earth? There are many effective ways to journey with people toward groaning while growing. We’ll focus again on trialogues: three-way conversations between us, our friend, and the Ultimate Spiritual Friend: Christ.

Sample Wailing/Groaning/Longing Trialogues

Consider some sample biblical trialogues to assist people to refuse to long deeply while living passionately.

“The temptation when life beats us down is not to face life anymore. To survive, but not thrive. How are you facing this temptation?”

“What will it look like for you to keep hoping?”

“What God-designed thirst is this situation stirring up in your soul?”

“What are you longing for from God right now?”

“If you were to write a thirst Psalm like Psalm 42, how would you word it?”

“As Paul faced suffering, he groaned for heaven (Romans 8:17-25). What are you groaning for?”

“In Romans 8:17-18, Paul did some spiritual mathematics and reasoned that his current sufferings were not worth comparing to his future glory. As you calculate your earthly suffering and your eternal glory, what conclusions do you make?”

“How is your current suffering causing you to long for heaven?”

“How is this situation helping you to realize that ‘this world is not your home’?”

“What testimony of future hope might spring from your current suffering?”

“In Philippians 1:23-25, Paul says that he longs for heaven, but that he’s passionate about staying on earth in order to glorify God and benefit others. How can you apply his choice to your life?”

“Satan wants to use your suffering to suck the life out of you. How can you connect to Christ’s resurrection power to find new life, new zeal for God? How can you not only survive, but thrive?”

And You?

Tomorrow we explore how you can groan for heaven while growing here on earth.

Become a Nike Christian

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 29: Become a Nike Christian

Is wailing biblical? Is it biblical to long for heaven and live passionately for God and others while still on earth? Is groaning with hope scriptural?

Desperate Desire

Consider Romans 8:18-25 and its support for wailing as a stage of acceptance, as God’s plan for responding to suffering.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay, and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

Paul couples suffering, frustration, eager waiting, and pregnant groaning. “Frustration” suggests the ache that we feel due to the emptiness and void we experience living in a fallen world. It’s the same Greek word (mataioteti) used in the Septuagint to translate Solomon’s word “vanity”—meaningless, soap bubbles, unsatisfying, pointless, absurd—all of this describes life south of heaven.

“Eager waiting” pictures ferocious, desperate desire. When we wail, we declare how deeply out of the nest we are, how far from home we’ve wandered, and how much we long for heaven.

Paul illustrates our desperate desire using the image of pregnancy. He describes a woman groaning as in labor that lasts not hours, not nine months, but a lifetime. Imagine a pregnant woman in labor for seventy years! That’s groaning. Groaning not only the pain of seemingly unending labor, but groaning the pain of not having the joy of the baby.

East of Eden

That’s our current condition. For our allotted years on this blue planet, we’re pregnant with hope, groaning for Paradise, for Eden, for walking with God in the cool of the day, for being naked and unashamed, for shalom.

When we groan, we admit to ourselves and express to God the pain of our unmet desires, the depth of our fervent longing for heaven’s joy, and our total commitment to remain pregnant with hope—labor for a lifetime.

Thriving

And what’s the result? Weak, mournful surviving? No way. The result is thriving.

In Romans 8:28-39, Paul insists that even in the midst of trouble, hardship, persecution, and suffering, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. He teaches that in all our suffering we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us so.

“More than conquerors” comes from the Greek word nikao from which we gain our word “Nike”—victors, Olympic champions, winners. Wailing empowers us to long passionately for heaven and to live victoriously on earth. Wailing moves us from victims to victors in Christ.

So What?

What difference can this make in the lives of others? How can we use these truths to help our grieving friends? Back at ya’ tomorrow!

Staying Alive to Life When It Crushes You to Death

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 28: Staying Alive to Life When It Crushes You to Death

Yesterday we learned that we follow a trillion different strategies for deadening our desires and shutting out the wail of our soul. What is biblical wailing and how does it connect to the grieving/healing process?

Wailing Defined

By wailing, I don’t mean weeping as in the complaint or cry of sustaining, though weeping often accompanies wailing. Wailing is longing for heaven and living passionately for God and others while still on earth.

Paul epitomizes wailing in Philippians 1:23-25. “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of your for your progress and joy in the faith.”
Paul neither deadens his longing for heaven nor does he minimize his calling on earth.

Wailing is longing, hungering, thirsting, and wanting what is legitimate, what is promised, but what we do not have. It is grieving the “not yet.”

“I Wanna’ Go Home!”

How is wailing different from candor and complaint? Candor says, “I hate what has happened to me.” Complaint says, “God, I’m confused and devastated by what has happened to me.” Wailing says, “I wanna’ go home. This world is so messed up. I ache for Paradise. However, I’m pulling weeds till the day I die!”

In the situation with the fired pastor, his wife, Terri, knew how to groan. She told me once, “Bob, everything in me wants to tell Tim to never, ever go into the pastorate again. He’s so wounded, and I’m so scared for him. Everything in me wants to say, ‘I’ll never be a pastor’s wife again.’”

“I’m Not Gonna’ Stop Dreaming!”

Then she leaned forward with this glimmer in her eyes as she said, “I watched the Les Mis DVD you loaned me. Fantine sang, ‘there are some storms you cannot weather,’ and ‘life has killed the dream I dreamed.’ By God’s grace, that’s not going to happen to me. I’m not going to quit feeling. I’m not going to quit living. I’m not going to quit connecting. I’ve experienced a taste of the fellowship of Christ’s suffering and I’ll never be the same. I’m more alive today than I have ever been in my life. God’s given me a vision of ministering to other women, to pastors’ wives.”

Then she leaned back, engulfed in this restful, confident smile, almost a smirk. It’s been two years now. God’s fulfilling her dream.

East of Eden

God calls us to keep longing for Paradise while still pulling weeds even while we live East of Eden. God calls us to keep dreaming even after life tries to kill the dreams we dream.

Are you pulling weeds?

Are you dreaming?

Are you wailing—ready to go home but committed to zealous living until the day you die?

Our God Is a Time God

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 27: Our God Is a Time God

When we cry out to God; He promises His comfort. However, He does not promise “quick answers.” He is a “time God.” He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes just on time. And . . . He comes in His way for His glory and our good.

Stage Six: Wailing

So, when His time and our timing are light years apart; we wait. We resist the temptation to regroup and to fix things on our own.

But let’s be honest, that brings more pain. So we are tempted to deaden the pain of waiting for healing, for hope, for cure.

In “stage” six of the grieving process, we move from deadening our pain to wailing: longing for heaven and living passionately for God and others while still on earth.

Deadening Described

The barren Shunammite woman of 2 Kings 4 helps us to picture deadening. After years of barrenness, she bears a son who fulfills a lifetime of hopes and dreams. Tragically, he dies. Life sent her two caskets, the first her inability to conceive, the second the death of the child she finally bore.

Rather than face her groaning, she repeats five times, “It’s all right.” Her heart is sick, her soul vexed, yet she keeps insisting, “It’s all right. I’m all right.”

She eventually screams at Elisha, “Did I not say to you, ‘Don’t deceive me! Don’t get my hopes up.’” Deadening refuses to ever hope again, to ever dream again.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Hope hoped for, received, then lost again, makes the heart deathly ill. Fragile. Needy. We hate being there, so we block it out. We deaden ourselves by refusing to hope, long, wail, or groan because groaning exposes us for the needy people that we are.

The problem is, God made us longing, thirsting, hungering, desiring beings. So we follow a trillion different strategies for deadening our desires and shutting out the wail of our soul. We live as if this world is all there is. We refuse to hope for something more. We make it our goal to satisfy the flesh in order to quench the ache in our soul.

Staying Alive to Life When It Crushes Us to Death

How do we stay alive to life when it crushes us to death? That’s the question we probe tomorrow.

Hope Waits

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 26: Hope Waits

What about you? We’ve explored how we can journey with others helping them to wait on God. But what about you?

Whether you are reflecting on your past suffering or experiencing current grief, here are a few suggestions and questions. I’ve designed them to help you to move from regrouping and immediate self-gratification to waiting on God—trusting God’s future provision without working to provide for myself.

Don’t try to address every suggestion. Pick a couple that connect with you.

My Waiting on God Journey

1. God’s timing and ours are often light years apart. What are you experiencing as you wait on God?

2. When God wanted Esau to wait, Esau took matters into his own hands and messed everything up. Are you facing any similar temptations to handle your hurt on your own? To fix things in your own strength?

3. Hope waits. What are you waiting on God for? How are you trusting God’s future provision without taking matters into your own hands?

4. Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. Where are you finding the strength to “keep on keeping on”? How are you resisting the temptation to “curse God and die”?

5. You’re at a faith-point. “I trust Him; I trust Him not. I’ll wait; I’ll not wait.” Which will it be? Will you wait or regroup? Will you wait on God or will you self-sufficiently depend upon yourself?

6. What would the consequences be if you regrouped through immediate self-gratification?

7. In waiting, you cling to God’s rope of hope even when you can’t see it. What is God’s invisible rope of hope for you?

8. Moses was able to delay gratification and wait because he was looking ahead to his future reward. What future reward are you setting your eyes on?

9. Paul considered that his present sufferings were not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. What future glory are you focusing on?

10. What would it look like for you to rest in God right now? For you to surrender to God? To trust instead of work, to wait instead of demand?

The Rest of the Story

When we wait, and wait, and wait . . . and still we find no answers, no fulfillment this side of heaven, what results? And how are we to respond? That will be our focus the next few days as we examine biblical wailing.