Thursday, December 02, 2010

Healing for the Holidays: Recap—Merry Christmas!


Healing for the Holidays: Recap—Merry Christmas!

Over the past three weeks I have been posting at RPM Ministries a ten-part blog mini-series called Healing for the Holidays. That series is now complete.

I’m making it available to you as an early Christmas gift. I’ve collated the entire series into a twenty-page PDF and placed on it my RPM Ministries website under Free Resources. You can find it there, or click this link to open it now: Healing for the Holidays.

You may be thinking, “I don't need holiday healing. I love the holidays!” Awesome. But perhaps not all your friends and family members will experience the next 30 days quite as joyously as you will. Feel free to forward them a copy or to use the principles you learn to minister to them.

Merry Christmas!

Oh…speaking of Christmas, here’s a Christmas gift idea. I’ve “bundled” my latest book, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses so that you can purchase ten copies for just $9.99 each and also save on SH. You can order at the RPM Store.

Of course, you can still buy one copy at 35% off for just $10.99 as another Christmas special.

Designed in gift-book format and written with the grieving person in mind, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is a thoughtful gift this Christmas season. Enjoy a free sample chapter and three-dozen quotes of note at the God’s Healing for Life’s Losses Page.

If you want to learn more about the book, check out the featured article at Everyday Christian: Grieving with Hope.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Healing for the Holidays


Healing for the Holidays

Note: Please visit RPM Ministries for my new website, daily blogs, free resources, book reviews, and my books.

Holidays… They’re “supposed” to make us think of words like thankful, merry, and happy. We’re “supposed” to associate holidays with a phrase like “Home for the Holidays!”

But… what if a loved one is not coming home this holiday season? What if death, divorce, or distance causes us to associate the holidays with words and feelings like depression, anxiety, and stress?

Holidays can create fresh memories of our loss and a fresh experience of pain and grief. The thought of facing another holiday season causes some people to wish they could sleep from the Wednesday before Thanksgiving until January 2. Loss is always hard, and at the holidays it can seem crushing. The thought of being in a festive mood for two months is just too much to bear when our heart is breaking.

A Note to Those Who Are Happy at the Holidays

Some of you might be thinking, “Bob. Don’t be such a downer. I love the holidays!” Awesome. I have no desire to diminish your joy.

However, your experience is not universal. For many of your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and relatives, the holidays are bittersweet. So keep reading…if not for yourself, then for others—so you can empathize with and care for those who need healing for the holidays.

A Promise to Those Who Long for Healing for the Holidays

Jesus understands. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). I include this verse every time I autograph a copy of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

In this one verse, Jesus gives you permission to grieve and permission to hope. Jesus is real and raw, just like life can be. He is also honest and hope-giving. His words, His life, death, and resurrection, give us healing hope.

The Apostle Paul offers the same message of sorrow mingled with healing. Sharing with Christians who had lost loved ones, Paul speaks of Christian grief—grieving with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

In this first post in our blog “mini-series” I want to follow the lead of Jesus and Paul by giving you:

• Permission to Grieve: Hurting During the Holidays
• Reason to Hope: Healing for the Holidays

In subsequent posts, I want to journey with you through biblical, practical, relevant ways you can grieve and grow, heal and hope.

Permission to Grieve: Hurting During the Holidays—It’s Normal to Hurt

It’s normal to hurt. When you see the empty chair during Thanksgiving dinner, it’s normal to hurt. When you unwrap the ornament that was your loved one’s favorite, it’s normal to hurt. When you usher in a new year apart from someone you love dearly, it’s normal to hurt.

Loss and separation are intruders. This is not the way it’s supposed to be. God designed us for relationship—it is not good to be alone.

Jesus did not just talk about loss and grief, He experienced it. When Jesus saw Mary weeping over the death of her brother Lazarus, he was deeply moved (John 11:33). Coming to Lazarus’ tomb, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

On the cross, experiencing separation from His Father, Jesus cried out. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).

If the perfect, sinless God-man Jesus wept over loss, then it is normal to hurt. If Jesus agonized over separation from His Father, then you have permission to grieve.

Paul did not just talk about loss and grief, he experienced it. Imprisoned and separated from Timothy, his son in the faith, Paul writes, “Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I might be filled with joy” (2 Timothy 1:3-4).

Toward the end of his life, almost totally alone, Paul recalls, “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me” (2 Timothy 4:16).

Memory is a great blessing—and can be a great curse. The memory of relatives separated from us by death, divorce, or distance is a legitimate source of great pain and a legitimate reason to hurt.

Reason to Hope: Healing for the Holidays—It’s Possible to Hope

It’s possible to hope. In the midst of Paul’s grief over being deserted and betrayed he also said, “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength” (2 Timothy 4:17).

At another point of candid grief, Paul shared that he “despaired even of life” and “felt the sentence of death” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). Yet, he also knew, “This happened to us that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:9). With Christ you have reason to hope for healing for the holidays. Loss is not final or fatal. It’s possible to hope.

Jesus, forsaken by His Father because of our sin, was raised from the dead by His Father. Even more (if you can say “even more” about the resurrection!) He is now seated at the right hand of the Father! Reunion. Relationship. Oneness.

Separation is not final with Christ. It’s possible to hope because our God is the God who raises the dead. He can resurrect your hope.

The Rest of the Story

You may be thinking, “That helps to know that I have permission to grieve, but what do I do with my hurt during the holidays?” And you may be asking, “I’m glad for the promise of healing for the holidays, but how do I find it?” Great questions. We’ll journey together in subsequent posts to find God’s answers for life’s losses.

Join the Conversation

Shakespeare said, “Give sorrow words.” What words would you give your sorrow over your hurt during the holidays? What glimmers of hope and healing are you seeing this holiday season?

Help for Your Healing Journey

For additional help on your healing journey, learn more about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.

Monday, October 25, 2010

“Here I Stand!”: Martin Luther’s Story, Part 2—A Spiritual Pauper


“Here I Stand!”: Martin Luther’s Story, Part 2—A Spiritual Pauper

Note: Please visit RPM Ministries for our new site.

Note: This week’s posts share a dramatic reading that I present in character as Martin Luther telling his story of salvation by grace alone through faith alone. To read Part 1, click on Unable to Satisfy God. Click on the following link for a 200-page presentation of Martin Luther’s Pastoral Counseling.

Recap: When we last heard from Martin Luther, he was sharing with us: “My conscience was terrified. My spirit despaired. I was unable to satisfy God at any point. What could I do?”

B. Standing before God with Filthy Rags and Ashamed

I did exactly what the Church taught me to do. I latched onto every help that the Church had to offer: the monastery, works, sacraments, pilgrimages, indulgences—everything. It was only years later that I discovered that all my works of righteousness left me standing before God ashamed of my filthy rags. Walk with me down the foolish road of works. Walk first with me into the monastery where I tried on the garment of the filthy rags of good works.

1. The Filthy Rags of Works: Monkery in the Monastery

I entered the monastery to find peace with God, to earn peace with God. I knew that I could never appear before the tribunal of a terrible God with an impure heart; so I must become holy. What better place to practice good works unto holiness than in the monastery? Here lived heroic athletes rigorously training to take heaven by storm.

One of the privileges of monastic life was that it freed me from all distractions, allowing me to strive to save my soul through works of chastity, charity, sobriety, poverty, love, obedience, fastings, vigils, and mortification of the flesh. Whatever good works a man might do to save himself, I was resolved to perform.

I was a good monk and I kept the rules of my order so strictly that I may say that if ever a monk got to heaven by his monkery, it was I! All my brothers in the monastery who knew me testify to this. If I had kept on any longer, I would have killed myself with vigils, prayers, fasting, and other disciplines.

For instance, when I was a monk, I was unwilling to omit any of my required prayers. However, when I was busy with public lecturing and writing, I often accumulated my appointed prayers for a whole week, or even two, or three. Then I would take a Saturday off, or shut myself in for as long as three days without food and drink, until I had said the prescribed prayers. This made my head split, and consequently I could not close my eyes for five nights. I lay sick unto death, and went out of my senses. I thought I could save my soul by punishing my body.

Though driven there for soul rest, the monastic life of good works failed to ease my guilt. Bowed down by sorrow, I tortured myself with the multitude of my thoughts. I would say to myself, “Look! You are still envious, impatient, passionate! It profits you nothing, O wretched man, to have entered this sacred order.”

I clearly recognized the futility of my good works when I said my first Mass. I wrote my father about my ordeal.

Here I experienced another thunderstorm, this one in my spirit. I stood before the altar and began to recite the introductory portion of the Mass. Then I came to the words, “We offer unto Thee, the living, the true, the eternal God.” At that very moment, the terror of the Holy struck me like lightning. At these words I was utterly terror-stricken. I thought to myself, “With what tongue shall I address such Majesty, seeing that all men ought to tremble in the presence of even an earthly prince. Who am I, that I should lift up mine eyes or raise my hands to the Divine Majesty? And shall I, a miserable little pygmy, say, ‘I want this, I ask for that?’ For I am dust and ashes and full of sin and I am speaking to the living, eternal, and the true God.”

In short, as a monk I experienced the horrors, the shame, and the futility of trying to earn peace with God through good works.

2. The Filthy Rags of the Merits of the Saints: Indulging in Indulgences

I hungered to find assurance of my salvation. However, the rigors of the monastic life could not calm my clamoring conscience. I saw that I was a great sinner in the eyes of God and I realized how impossible it would be for me to please God on my own merits. So I fled to the merits of the saints.

Though I was not good enough, perhaps the pooled goodness of all the saints would be good enough to please God. I believed the Church’s teaching that the combined goodness of the saints, especially of the Blessed Virgin Mary, could save me. Mary, I was taught, was better than she needed to be for her own salvation. The extra merit of her righteousness constituted a treasury that the Church could transfer to my account. In other words, I would borrow her goodness to make up for my lack. Such a transfer or borrowing, the Pope called an indulgence.

Wanting to take full benefit of such a transfer, I felt myself highly privileged when the opportunity arose to go to Rome. Rome, like no city on earth, was richly endowed with spiritual indulgences. I could touch a piece of the very cross on which Christ died and shorten my time of punishment by 17,000 years. Each “Hail Mary” I said before the statue of the Blessed Virgin would earn me ten years worth of good works. I felt truly blessed to be able to climb, on hands and knees, the very stairs Christ climbed in Pilate’s temple. Each “Our Father” said on each step was worth nine years’ forgiveness, and an “Our Father” said on the step with the silver cross was worth double merit. I even kissed each step for good measure.

However, arriving at the top stair, I raised myself to full height and exclaimed, “Who knows whether it is so?” I had gone to Rome with the onions of my good works, and returned home only with the garlic of the merits of the saints.

My chief concern in going to Rome was that I might become a saint through the merits of the saints. Yet, all I found in Rome was the shamelessness, godlessness, and wickedness of all people, so-called saints included. For they, too, were sinners, unworthy of a holy God. How could they possibly offer me anything acceptable to God? I was striving after my own good works and the merits of the saints in order to compensate for my sins, but I could never feel that the ledger was balanced.

3. The Filthy Rags of the Sacrament of Penance: Confessions about Confession

I could not acquire heaven by becoming a saint, nor by the merits of the saints. However, I had one more set of filthy rags to wear—the filthy rags of the sacrament of penance. I was taught that the sacraments—like baptism, communion, confession or penance—actually added or dispensed grace. We may not be good enough, the saints may not be good enough, but the Church can add to our goodness because our participation in a sacrament serves as a reservoir for accumulating more of Christ’s grace.

In particular, I availed myself of the sacrament of penance or confession to a priest. I confessed frequently, often daily for as long as six hours. I believed that every sin, in order to be absolved or forgiven, had to be specifically confessed. Therefore, I had to search my memory for sins of action and sins of motivation. I would review my entire life to be sure to remember everything, until even my confessor grew weary.

The great difficulty I experienced was my lack of assurance that I had recalled everything. My soul would recoil in horror when, after six hours of confession to a priest, a new sin would come to mind that I had not recalled. Even more frightening was the realization that a sinner like me did not even recognize some sins as sins. I went every day to confession, but it was of no use to me. I always thought. “You did not perform that correctly. God has not forgiven you.”

I had recourse to a thousand methods to stifle the cries of my conscience. Yet I despaired because I always doubted that God was gracious to me. I could find no portal of salvation. I could not enter into fellowship with God through the harbor of my own good works. I could not approach God through the window of the merits of the saints. I could not draw near to God through the door of the Church.

I came to realize that the religious answers of my day would never quiet my soul. I came to realize that all human beings and all human institutions were spiritually impoverished. I was a spiritual pauper.

The Rest of the Story

I invite you to return tomorrow as we learn how Martin Luther turned from works to faith.

Join the Conversation

What futile works did you cling to before you placed your faith in Christ’s finished work?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Let's Roll! Lisa Beamer, Todd Beamer, and Spiritual Friends


Let’s Roll! Lisa Beamer, Todd Beamer, and Spiritual Friendship


In a spiritual crisis, what does a spiritual friend look like? How do spiritual friends turn you to Christ in a crisis? Lisa Beamer’s story provides a beautiful portrait.

To read the rest of this blog, visit our new blog site http://www.rpmministries.org/ and for this particular post click here.


Saturday, August 14, 2010

Walk in the Word Partnership


Walk in the Word Partnership

Pastor James MacDonald, founding Sr. Pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel and host of the radio program Walk in the Word is partnering with Bob Kellemen, BMH Books, and GriefShare on God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. Pastor James has chosen God’s Healing for Life’s Losses as the featured resource for his program from August 15th to August 30th.

Here’s just one snippet of several that you can hear the next two weeks on Walk in the Word regarding what Pastor James has to say about the book.

Announcer: “I’m excited to tell you about a brand new book called God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. You know James, when someone’s going through a hard time, isn’t it good to point them to the wisdom of God’s Word?”

Pastor James MacDonald: “I love people who can take God’s Word, teach it without apology, and bring it to bear on the questions that people are asking. The Bible has the answers to life’s most complex questions, and Bob faithfully brings out those answers. That’s why we need to rely upon trusted teachers like Bob who have the skill to bring God’s Word to bear upon the things that are most perplexing in life.”

Announcer: “That’s right, and one of those trusted teachers, Bob Kellemen, provides excellent biblical help for those who are hurting. You’re invited to get in touch with us today for his book entitled, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting. The book is available right now when you give a donation of any amount to support the ministry of Walk in the Word. Call 888-581-9673. You can also go online to http://www.walkintheword.com/. Or, if you prefer writing to us, just include a donation of any amount with your request for the book God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. Write to: Walk in the Word, PO Box 5368, Elgin, IL 60121.”

More About Walk in the Word

Walk in the Word is the Bible teaching ministry of Dr. James MacDonald, pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel in the suburbs of Chicago. The radio program emphasizes the precise exposition of God’s Word along with life application. Igniting passion in the people of God through the proclamation of truth is not just their motto—it’s their daily commitment. Through audio, video, web, printed resources, and listener events, Walk in the Word provides personal and practical teaching that leads listeners to the transforming power of God.

Join the Conversation

What impact has Pastor James MacDonald’s ministry had on your life?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

What Others Are Saying about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses


What Others Are Saying about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses

The Big Idea: Two dozen book reviewers are blogging their thoughts on my latest book God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. Below, you’ll find a link to each review, the name of their blog, plus a brief snippet of their review. Post a comment on one of their blogs by August 1, for a chance to win a free copy.

Rick Howerton: Small Group World. http://bit.ly/aelacY

“Blindsided, Ambushed, Amazed, Inspired… the list could go on and on. When Bob asked me to read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses for his blog tour, I was honored but saw little opportunity to aid the small group community. That is, until I had finished reading this amazing manuscript. This treasure that includes multiple pages filled with questions for personal reflection is a perfect tool for dealing with personal loss as well as the training of small group leaders. Small group pastor… I would suggest you get copies of this book and spend ten weeks with your small group leaders. Some of your group leaders will finally deal with past hurt that they have chosen to deny. The rest will learn the stages and phases of grief. They will be prepared to help their group members find hope, help, and healing when grief invades his/her space. Get this book, read it yourself, and then use it to equip your leaders.”

Mark Tubbs: Discerning Reader. http://bit.ly/bW4yl2

“So much more could be said about this book and so much could be quoted from it, but I leave it up to the reader to order a copy and delve in. Or order two copies and involve a friend in the process. Pastors, counselors, and small group leaders, this book is bound to be a source of hope for those under your care who are grieving. Not only that, but it commends itself as a teaching tool in preparing Christians to suffer in a God-honoring, biblical way.”

Brad Hambrick: A Blog from a Counselor for the Church. http://bit.ly/9RjV1R

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses takes on traditional thoughts about grief and loss and turns them upside down. There is refreshing honesty about the pain of loss and the permission to be real with God and others as we embrace the mourning process together. This book is biblical, personal, and healing; I highly recommend it.”

Mark Kelly: Grace Dependent. http://bit.ly/bj3KGZ

“Exuding hope, this book becomes a wonderful resource that compassionately directs the reader to find healing for life’s losses in Christ and with Christ. I encourage you to purchase a copy of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses for your own personal journey, and perhaps, a second copy for a friend or family member going through a time of loss, suffering or grief. This book would also be a valuable tool for a support group as they work through the grieving process.”

Julie Ganschow: Biblical Counseling for Women. http://bit.ly/bmfZrw

“From time to time I come across a book that I want to tell you about because it makes a profound impact on my life and I think it will benefit many of you. I found such a book in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. This is a wonderful new book by Dr. Robert Kellemen and it is a book that I have personally been waiting for, for a long time.”

Keiki Hendrix: Vessel Project. http://bit.ly/c7IFRp

“A book complete on grief, loss, and despair that encourages the reader to seek God as their source of healing. Bob Kellemen has compiled an exceptional resource in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. A great resource written by an experienced Christian Counselor who includes personal accounts of periods of grief.”

Leslie Wiggins: Alabamenagerie. http://bit.ly/bVd2JH

“This book surprised me. It’s small, but more helpful than most books on grief that are twice its size. In fact, its size makes it ideal for giving. Pastors, counselors, and those who often find themselves in a position to comfort others in pain, will want to use this book as a resource and as a gift for those who are hurting. I discovered a book whose message is more than just how to find healing after a loss; it’s about journeying with God through life in this broken, sin-filled world.”

Kellie Harbaugh: Tabitha’s Team. http://bit.ly/9QUylI

“‘We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us,’ Dr. Kellemen explains in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. This has become one of my favorite quotes. Dr. Kellemen does not assume that a couple of Scripture verses and a prayer will make everything all better. But he also doesn’t leave you empty-handed… If you like to journal, you will love the questions that are asked throughout the book as prompts for you to journal your thoughts, feelings, and ultimately your journey to healing. If you have a friend who experiencing grief or depression, this would be a great gift.”

Cathy Bryant: Word Vessel. http://bit.ly/aiv52b

“Words really seem inadequate to express the need I see for this wonderful book by Dr. Kellemen. Packed with scriptural references, God’s Healing For Life’s Losses contrasts the world’s method of coping with loss with God’s ways. The gift-book size makes this book easy to hold and read, but it’s not a book to be skimmed through lightly or quickly. Instead it needs to be prayerfully entered and slowly digested, allowing the truths of God to sink in and soothe the soul. I highly recommend this wonderful book.”

Sandra Peoples: Heart for Him. http://bit.ly/b1q8us

“This concise book is packed with hope for those who are hurting. The highlight of this book for me was the explanation of ‘Biblical Sufferology’ (chart on page 10). The five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance—are contrasted with the biblical grief response—candor, complaint, cry, comfort. Kellemen writes, ‘We have two basic options. We can turn to the world’s way. Or we can follow the way of God’s Word’ (16). God’s Word is where we find hope!”

Lucy Ann Mull: The Sisterhood of Beautiful Warriors. http://bit.ly/cM8BhI

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses provides valuable wisdom and encouragement for women or men who suffer any life loss, including divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one. Easy to read, practical and uplifting. Highly recommended.”

Greg Baily: Word for Men. http://bit.ly/cJc8tV

“I am currently ministering to two recent widows and one spouse who have just hit the reality that her husband is headed to his Creator at an accelerating speed. I am going to buy more copies of this book for them, and am talking to the local director of a Biblical counseling center and my pastor about ordering a few dozen for myself, another chaplain I know and for their ministries use also. It is that helpful and that truthful. My money will be where my mouth is.”

Cindy Baily: Word for Women. http://bit.ly/cTx6kc

(By Greg Baily): “Dr. Kellemen has been given a unique Christian insight into ‘sufferology’ and grieving. As one who wanted to help but only seemed to have a mish-mash of secular observation about human nature and some meaty Biblical concepts I thoroughly embrace God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. The book is made very accessible because he uses case studies to outline his Biblical stages, often of himself as he suffered through a great grief in his life.”

Angela Dockter-Harris: Dance in the Rain. http://bit.ly/aKqdrS

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses provides such comfort to understanding sorrow and suffering. This is a must read book for those who are hurting as well as those who minister to hurting people on a daily basis. I suggest that those in ministry have several copies on hand to share.”

Kim Morris McNabney: Writing from the Soul. http://bit.ly/9V9PXe

“I believe this book would be an amazing tool for those stuck in suffering, and worthlessness, and despair. Those that have been struck down by addiction, or found themselves behind bars. They need to hear the good news this book has to offer. It isn’t often that I wish to be rich, but after reading this book I wish I had the funds to purchase this wonderful book for those in my life, as well as all those that cross my path that I fear are hurt, and suffering.”

Cornelius Jemison: My Musings from a Biblical Worldview. http://bit.ly/dkjUON

“As a beginning student in theology, I can write a theology paper about suffering and come up with clever statements that describe the process of suffering/troubles/tribulations and the implications of believers, but it’s another thing when you are hemmed in, hurting, angry, and bitter with God. After reading Dr. Robert Kellemen’s book: God’s Healing for Life’s Losses I don’t feel that way anymore. In his book he describes the biblical and personal process of healing.”

Joe Donaldson: View from the Second Chair. http://bit.ly/bXu1oZ

“This is a book that I will recommend to my colleagues, to those who counsel and care for those who are grieving, and for all who finds themselves in need of healing from life’s losses. I found it to be well-written, thoughtful, and immensely practical.”

John Starke: The Gospel Coalition Reviews. http://bit.ly/aQzTjg

Author Interview: “Who should read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?”

“Sometimes the second we hear words like loss and grief, our minds focus exclusively on death and dying. God’s Healing for Life’s Losses focuses on any type of loss—from the grand loss of death, to the daily casket experiences of the loss of a job, the loss of a dream, the loss of a relationship… So anyone struggling with any life loss would benefit from reading God’s Healing.”

Aaron Taylor: Deep Thoughts with Aaron Taylor. http://bit.ly/cIiOUk

Author Interview: “What’s the “big idea” behind God’s Healing for Life’s Losses? What would you like readers to take away from it?”

“In a biblical sentence: you can grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). God’s Healing for Life’s Losses gives readers permission to grieve and offers a pathway toward hope. I want people to see their suffering from God’s perspective without denying the reality that suffering still hurts. What would I like readers to take away? The title and subtitle say it best. I’d like readers to walk away with God’s healing hope.”

Lynn Mosher: Heading Home. http://bit.ly/bFmkjt

Author Interview: “Why did you write God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?”

“Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing. Jesus did. ‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world’ (John 16:33).”

Bill Higley: Dialgoue. http://bit.ly/aRmyWM

Author Interview (Review Forthcoming): “What motivated you to write God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?

“My ministry to real people with real hurts motivated me to write God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. People quickly grow weary of Christian books that pretend. They’re tired of Christian counselors and well-meaning friends who dispense far too much “happiness all the time, wonderful peace of mind.” They’re also gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word. The purpose of the book, as the title and sub-title suggest, is to assist people on their grief and growth journey to find God’s healing hope in their hurts and losses.”

Join the Conversation

What resources have you found valuable in dealing with suffering, grief, and loss?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

International Grief Ministry Endorses God's Healing for Life's Losses


International Grief Ministry Endorses God's Healing for Life's Losses


WAKE FOREST, NC, July 17/Christian Newswire

Author Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, has released the GriefShare edition of his new book for people facing loss and grief.

Contact: Samuel Hodges, 800-395-5755 ext. 247, shodges@churchinitiative.org

Christian counselor Dr. Robert W. Kellemen and BMH Publishers have released the GriefShare edition of "God's Healing for Life's Losses." GriefShare, a network of thousands of grief support group ministries worldwide, is excited about the hope-filled, relevant help this book can bring to people experiencing loss and grief.

In 2006 GriefShare selected Kellemen to be a featured expert in its new GriefShare video series. GriefShare grief support groups bring respected Christian counselors, authors and teachers into local churches to help grieving people via weekly videos. Participants receive comforting, foundational teaching from Robert Kellemen, Dr. Erwin Lutzer, Dr. Paul Tripp, Dr. David Powlison, Dr. Edward Welch, Anne Graham Lotz, H. Norman Wright, Dr. Larry Crabb and over 35 others.

With the release of Kellemen's new book, Steve Grissom, founder and president of Church Initiative, GriefShare's parent ministry, is optimistic that even more people will benefit from Kellemen's insights. People who've heard Kellemen's teaching in the past will enjoy even more in-depth, encouraging counsel through "God's Healing for Life's Losses." Readers will find comfort and hope as they discover God's active role in their healing. They'll learn how to experience deep healing and lasting peace in a world of suffering and pain.

The big idea behind Kellemen's book is that it is possible to grieve with hope without denying the reality of suffering. As such, "God's Healing for Life's Losses" gives readers permission to grieve and offers a pathway toward healing.

Grissom explains GriefShare's decision to endorse Kellemen's book: "People in grief can be voracious readers, looking for anything to ease the pain. And unfortunately, many popular self-help books are filled with advice that is inconsistent with the Bible, which will ultimately hurt them more. 'God's Healing for Life's Losses' is a biblically consistent, solid resource that can be read and recommended with assurance."

To learn more about GriefShare, visit www.griefshare.org. To purchase "God's Healing for Life's Losses," visit the GriefShare Personal Help Store (www.griefshare.org/bookstore) and look in the Grief Recovery section. Or purchase your copy at Dr. Kellemen’s RPM Ministries Bookstore.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Why You'll Want to Read God's Healing for Life's Losses


Why You'll Want to Read God's Healing for Life's Losses

Note: Remember to bookmark my fresh new site with daily blogs and 100s of free resources: RPM Ministries.

BMH Books just released my latest book, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.

Why This Book at This Time?

With all the books clamoring for your attention, why this book? Here are a few reasons why you’ll want to read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

• Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses because you’re ready for real and raw, honest and hopeful conversation about suffering, loss, and grief—from a Christian perspective.

• Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses because when life’s losses invade your world you want to learn how to face suffering face-to-face with God.

• Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses because you’re tired of quick quips (“Just trust God”) and false hopes (“Time heals all wounds”).

• Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses because you want to find real answers for real people with real struggles.

The Journey from Grief and Hurt to Growth and Healing

Written in a gift book format, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes two built-in application/discussion guides making it perfect for individual or group study. Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses to learn how to journey:

• From Denial to Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn
• From Anger to Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss
• From Bargaining to Crying Out to God: I Surrender All
• From Depression to Comfort: God Comes
• From Regrouping to Waiting: When God Says “Not Yet”
• From Deadening to Wailing: Pregnant with Hope
• From Despairing to Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics
• From Digging Cisterns to Worshipping: Finding God

Why Others Think You Should Read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses

Of course, I’m biased. So…you may want to hear what others are saying about why you’ll want to read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

• Read Pastor Steve Viars’ Foreword.

• Read the Endorsement by Steve Grissom, Founder of the International GriefShare network. This is the first book that the internationally-known GriefShare has ever endorsed.

• Read Recommendations from ten leaders in the field of Christian grief recovery.

Read a Free Sample Chapter

I believe so much in the message of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses that I want to give it away. I wish I could give it all away. But at least I can offer you a complimentary read of the Introduction.

Receive Your Autographed Copy

If you’d like an autographed copy of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses at 33% off, visit the RPM Ministries Store.

Join the Conversation

When suffering invades your world, how do you face suffering face-to-face with God?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Remedy for Secular Psychology



Remember to visit and bookmark my fresh new site: http://www.rpmministries.org/

I’ve added scores of new free resources, book reviews, videos, and more—all because I know you want to change lives.


The Remedy for Secular Psychology

A friend shares with you a set of emotional symptoms that leave the two of you stumped. Where do you turn for answers that make a real difference?

A parishioner tells you about a decade-old “besetting sin” that they just can’t find victory over. Where do you turn to discern root causes and robust cures?

Real Answers for Real People with Real Problems

Whether you’re a lay person or a pastor, where do you turn for real answers?

Unfortunately, too often, in our sincere desire to help our hurting friends, we race to the latest trends. We turn to secular psychology and find human-shaped answers for God-shaped problems. We discover human-sized solutions when what we really need are God-sized SOUL-u-tions.

There has to be a better way.

There is. It’s God’s way. It’s learning to be a soul physician from the ultimate Soul Physician—Christ. It’s Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

It’s the way the Apostle Paul spoke about and prayed about in Philippians. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight” (Philippians 1:9).

Soul Physicians: The Remedy for Secular Psychology

It was in my first pastoral ministry that I began equipping lay people and pastors to become soul physicians. I longed for them to understand people, diagnose problems, and prescribe solutions—biblically. I long for you to do the same.

Twenty-five years later, I authored Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. It’s the remedy for secular psychology.

It’s also the remedy for “take two verses and call me in the morning.” It remedies “secular help” and “shallow help.”

Soul Physicians helps you to help your friends. It empowers you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Unique Focus: Life’s Seven Ultimate Questions

Soul Physicians explores from the Scriptures seven truths that shape the way we see life and ministry. These truths about life’s seven ultimate questions teach us what makes biblical counseling truly biblical.

• Question 1: “What is truth? Where do I find answers?” Answer 1—The Word: “God’s Word is sufficient, authoritative, profound, and relevant.”

• Question 2: “Who is God?” Answer 2—Community/The Creator: “God is Trinitarian.”

• Question 3: “Who am I”? Answer 3—Creation: “We are created with dignity by God in the image of Christ.”

• Question 4: “What went wrong?” Answer 4—Fall: “We sinfully and foolishly choose god-substitutes over God.”

• Question 5: “Can we change? How do people change?” Answer 5—Redemption: “We must apply our complete salvation to our daily sanctification.”

• Question 6—“Where am I headed? What is my destiny?” Answer 6—Consummation/Glorification: “Heaven is my final home.”

• Question 7—“Can I help? How can I help?” Answer 7—Sanctification/Ministry: “We dispense God’s cure for the soul—grace.”

Unique Features

Soul Physicians includes a built-in personal application discussion guide to help develop the Christlike character of the biblical counselor.

Soul Physicians includes a built-in ministry implication discussion guide to help develop the relational competence of the biblical counselor.

Soul Physicians is written in the language of “theo-drama”—relating theology practically and powerfully to our calling to love God and to love one another.

Soul Physicians is comprehensive and compassionate—blending robust biblical truth with caring one another application.

Soul Physicians is perfect for individual and group work. Join the growing number of lay people, pastors, professional Christian counselors, and students who are using Soul Physicians as their twenty-first century manual for understanding people and ministering to them God’s way.

Learn More

To read what others are saying, to download a free sample chapter, and to order Soul Physicians at 40% off, visit my
RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmministries.org/) Soul Physicians page: http://www.rpmministries.org/writing/soul-physicians/

Join the Conversation

Where are you turning to be equipped for one another ministry in the local church that trains you to understand people, diagnose problems, and prescribe solutions—biblically?

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

The Remedy for “Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”


Remember to visit and bookmark my fresh new site: www.rpmministries.org

I've added scores of new free resources, book reviews, videos, and more--all because I know you want to change lives.

The Remedy for “Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

Your friend tells you, “My spouse just left me.” What do you say? How do you help?

A parishioner shares, “Pastor, I can’t deal with my bitterness and anger.” How do you respond?

What Do I Do After the Hug?

Whether you’re a lay person or a pastor, what do you do after the hug? How are you being trained for biblical one another ministry in the local church? Unfortunately, even the Christian world seems to recommend two extremes.

Extreme # 1: Secular Help.—“The World’s Way”

Someone comes to us with a life struggle, and in our panic we race to the self-help shelf at the local bookstore. Or we type the topic in an Amazon.com search and we find a boatload of the world’s answers.

There has to be a better way.

Extreme # 2: Shallow Help—“Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

Or, in our attempts to be biblical, we become shallow. We quote a verse and rub it on like a band-aid. We wave a passage of Scripture like a magic wand.

There has to be a better way.

How to Care Like Christ: Helping You to Help Your Friend

Of course there’s a better way. It’s caring like Christ. It’s speaking and living the truth in love. It’s Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

It’s caring like the Apostle Paul who said, “We loved you so much that we gave you not only the Scriptures, but our own souls, because you were dear to us’ (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Spiritual Friends: The Remedy for “Take Two Verses and Call Me in the Morning”

It was in my first pastoral ministry that I began equipping lay people and pastors in spiritual friendship. I longed for them to combine truth and love, Scripture and soul, so they could help others with suffering and sin. I long for you to do the same.

Twenty-five years later, I authored Spiritual Friends: A Methodology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. It’s the remedy for “take two verses and call me in the morning.” It’s the remedy to shallow help and to secular help.

Spiritual Friends helps you to help your friends. It equips you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Unique Focus

Spiritual Friends trains you, step-by-step, in a relational model for dealing with suffering and with sin.
Spiritual Friends equips you to develop five “GRACE” biblical counseling skills to offer sustaining help for suffering. “It’s Normal to Hurt.”
Spiritual Friends equips you to develop five “RESTS” biblical counseling skills to offer healing hope for suffering. “It’s Possible to Hope”
Spiritual Friends equips you to develop six “PEACEE” biblical counseling skills to offer reconciling care-fronting for sin and growth in grace. “It’s Horrible to Sin, but Wonderful to Be Forgiven.”
Spiritual Friends equips you to develop six “FAITHH” biblical counseling skills to offer guiding wisdom for sin and growth in grace. “It’s Supernatural to Mature.”

Unique Features

Spiritual Friends includes a built-in application guide to help you to grow in Christ-like character.
Spiritual Friends is a biblically-relevant training manual with thousands of sample “spiritual conversations” that model how to speak the truth in love.
Spiritual Friends is a relational practical workbook with hundreds of skill-building exercises to train you in the art of spiritual friendship/biblical counseling.
• With scores of role-plays, vignettes, life applications, and ministry implications—Spiritual Friends is perfect for individual and group work. A growing number of church small groups, church lay counseling training ministries, pastors, professional Christian counselors, and students are using Spiritual Friends as their twenty-first century manual for people helping.

Learn More

To read what others are saying, to download a free sample chapter, and to order Spiritual Friends at 40% off, please visit my RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmministries.org/) Spiritual Friends page (http://www.rpmministries.org/writing/spiritual-friends/).

Join the Conversation

How are you being equipped for biblical one another ministry in the local church?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Remember to bookmark and visit my fresh new site at http://www.rpmministries.org/

I've posted twice as many free resources, daily blogs, book reviews, videos, and more, all because I know You Want to Change Lives!

A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Final Recap: Links to Responses to A New Kind of Christianity


Welcome: I’ve finished blogging my way through a series of responses to Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christianity. My focus has been on pastoral theology or practical theology response. As a pastor, counselor, and professor who equips the church for biblical counseling and spiritual formation, I was asking: “What difference does our response to each question make for how we care like Christ (biblical counseling) and for how we live like Christ (spiritual formation)?”

Final Recap: Word Document Format

I’ve created an edited version of my entire blog series in a Word Document format. It’s free, so I’ve posted it along with my other Free Resources (http://www.rpmministries.org/free-resources/). You can enjoy over 100 free resources for your life and ministry at RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmministries.org/).

Feel free to download and to share my final recap in Word Document format: A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity (http://bit.ly/b9FjP2).

Final Recap: Blog Format

If you’ve benefitted from this blog series, and if you think others would benefit also, please feel free to reference this series, link to it on your site, or post it on your site.

Here are all the links in my blog series on A New Kind of Christianity.

• Post # 1: Brian McLaren, I Accept Your Invitation http://bit.ly/a8D42I

• Post # 2: A Biblical Counseling Response to Brian McLaren http://bit.ly/dmXIll

• Post # 3: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 1: The Narrative Question http://bit.ly/d6XPTO

• Post # 4: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 2: The Authority Question—The Bible http://bit.ly/ctNf2I

• Post # 5: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 3: The God Question http://bit.ly/aUXFKr

• Post # 6: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 4: The Jesus Question http://bit.ly/a3JRHi

• Post # 7: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 5: The Gospel Question http://bit.ly/bOBn6e

• Post # 8: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 6: The Church Question http://bit.ly/cviqsN

• Post # 9: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 7: The Sex Question http://bit.ly/cs7BpU

• Post # 10: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 8: The Future Question http://bit.ly/bGM6pL

• Post # 11: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 9: The Pluralism Question http://bit.ly/bSuinZ

• Post # 12: Responding to Brian McLaren’s Q # 10: The What Now Question http://bit.ly/bscHA1

• Post # 13: Conclusion: The Final Word and the Word After That http://bit.ly/9RyERw

Six Views

I’ve also collated other responses and reviews to A New Kind of Christianity.

6 Views on Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity: http://bit.ly/cRfyfM

Join the Conversation

Which question do you think is most important and why?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Brian McLaren, I Accept Your Invitation

Remember to bookmark and visit my fresh new site at http://www.rpmministries.org/

I've posted twice as many free resources, daily blogs, book reviews, videos, and more, all because I know You Want to Change Lives!

A Conversation about Brian McLaren’s A New Kind of Christianity

Brian McLaren, I Accept Your Invitation


Welcome:
You’re reading “Part 1” of my blog series responding to Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christianity. Many people have engaged Brian’s thinking—most focusing on a systematic theology response (you can visit here to see a boatload of links). I’m thankful for their foundational responses. My focus is on “pastoral theology” or “practical theology.” As a pastor, counselor, and professor who equips pastors, I’m accepting Brian’s invitation to interact about the implications of his views for the everyday life of one-another Christianity—“the personal ministry of the Word.” My posts will be “periodic” so that I can intelligently, carefully, fairly, and thoroughly engage Brian’s thinking.

Brian’s Invitation

Throughout A New Kind of Christianity Brian invites conversation. He calls it an invitation for discussion not a “debate that creates hate” (p. 17). Using a sports’ analogy, Brian writes about his views, “They are offered as a gentle serve or lob; their primary goal is to start the interplay, to get things rolling, to invite reply” (p. 23). Brian also notes concerning those who may disagree with him that, “We welcome their charitable critique” (p. 25). In summary he says, “This quest must instead work more like a wedding proposal, an invitation. It must be about free conversation, not forced conversion” (p. 27).

To this generic invite, Brian adds a very specific invitation to pastors and counselors. When I read the following words, my ears perked up higher than Mr. Spock from Star Trek.

“This Greco-Roman framing may help explain why Christian pastors and counselors have such a hard time convincing Christians that God actually loves them” (p. 266).

Game On

Until reading that quote, my plan was to let the “theologians” converse with Brian. Of course, theology intimately relates to everyday life, so I should have been willing to join the conversation from the get-go. But when I read that quote, it was “Game on.” Brian had served up his “gentle lob” and I would volley back.

This is why the specific emphasis of my tennis match, er, conversation, with Brian focuses on:

What are the implications of A New Kind of Christianity for “the personal ministry of the Word”—pastoral counseling, one another ministry, soul care, spiritual direction, biblical counseling, spiritual formation, Christian counseling, pastoral care, spiritual friendship, personal discipleship, one another ministry?

Call it whatever you want. I’ve spent the past quarter-century in the trenches of pastoral ministry comforting grieving parishioners, counseling struggling Christians, equipping lay people, pastors, and professional Christian counselors for “the personal ministry of the Word.”

Brian’s “ten questions” deserve a “pastoral ministry response.” Game on.

A Few Ground Rules

Any good tennis match must have a few ground rules (even in post-modern tennis—sorry, I couldn’t resist!). Any healthy conversation ought to include some communication skills and relational competencies. I’ll “basically” let Brian set those ground rules.

Ground Rule # 1: Q and R (Sorta’)

Brian asks not for Q/A, but for Q/R. Q/A, of course, equals Question and Answer. Brian says he thinks most questions aren’t suited for a simple answer (I’m not sure any questions are suited for a simple answer…). So he prefers Q/R: Question and Response—stimulating, open-ended, conversations starters.

So here’s my intention:

To engage Brian in stimulating Q/R about how his ten questions relate to the personal ministry of the Word (pastoral care, small groups, personal discipleship, spiritual direction, biblical counseling, spiritual formation, spiritual friendship, soul care, one another ministry, etc.).

Now, that said, I will try to do not just what Brian said, but what Brian did. As much as Brian likes to focus on “responses,” his book is filled with his answers to his ten questions. That’s not a critique. It’s an observation. And…it set’s the ground rules fairly so that we’re both playing by the same norms. Yes, I will give my answers. And I’ll give them in the form I often tell my students, “This is my current best attempt to respond to this question.” So…please be charitable when you read not only “responses” from me, but also “answers.” I want to be like Brian.

Ground Rule # 2: “Charitable” (Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend)

Brian repeatedly asks that people who respond to him do so charitably. I want to do that. In fact, I hope I do it more consistently than it felt like, to me, Brian did it.

I don’t have the time or space in this first post to share the many examples of Brian’s less-than-charitable interactions throughout the book, but I will share a few samplers…to set the ground rules. Brian starts the book by illustrating his innocent speaking engagement being bothered by four people placing leaflets on car windshields talking about Brian as a “known heretic” (p. 1). He responds by asking the rhetorical question, “How did a mild-manner guy like me get into so much trouble” (p. 2)?

Now, now. Is that any way to start a friendly conversation? So…those who disagree or have different responses from Brian are illustrative of heresy hunters. Brian and those with views like him are innocent mild-manner guys. I know, it’s subtle (well, kind of). I know, Brian didn’t say everyone who disagrees is a “heresy hunter.” He didn’t say everyone who agrees with him is a good guy. But… come on… is that really an open-ended invitation to a charitable conversation?

But that’s topped by the page where Brian introduces the first five questions. The illustration now changes from parking lot heresy hunters to evil guards at a concentration camp (p. 31).

And who are these concentration camp guards? They are pastors (who disagree with Brian).

For Brian, the reason others are not on his quest is because they’ve been locked in a closet, cell, or concentration camp by guards (pastors) motivated by a desire to keep people under their control by making them fearful of the real world. These guards (pastors) are like Satan masquerading as an angel of light. “We see our guards not as guards at all, but as pleasant custodians in clerical robes or casual suits. They’ve been to graduate school (seminary) where many of them mastered the techniques of friendly manipulation…” (p. 31, parenthesis added).

Brian, come clean. That’s not a shout out, is it? That’s a bit of an introductory dig. We’ve been dissed, right? Is this really how we want to invite charitable conversation?

So…now…if I “respond” to Brian with any difference of opinion, that puts me in the camp (remember, he said “many of them” not a few) of those manipulative pastors who seek to control their congregations through fear (techniques learned in “graduate school”—where do pastors go for graduate school?—seminary). So I’m in a double-bind because I’ve pastored three churches and I now equip pastors at a seminary.

The examples could go on and on. These are simply two of Brian’s somewhat subtle illustrative introductions. Read the book and you’ll stumble upon a batch of specific less-than-charitable statements about those who disagree with Brian.

They don’t feel like a “gentle lob” in tennis. They come across like the gauntlet being laid down in a jousting match, like an En Garde” in fencing, like a “glove slap” in a duel, or like a Klingon Bat’leth line-up (you have to be a Star Trek fan).

I’m going to try to follow Brian’s ground rules of charitable conversation, but hopefully more as a friendly tennis match than as, “I challenge you to a duel!” Perhaps the imagery from Proverbs fits best, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). Some of Brian’s words are biting, wounding, sarcastic, in-your-face (yep, mild-mannered Brian). I’ll try to take them as faithful wounds from a friend (believing the best about Brian’s intentions). So…when I’m a tad playful, or sarcastic, or telling-it-like-it-is, please allow me the benefit of the doubt, also.

The Rest of the Story

In “Part 2,” I’ll further explain my focus—what I’m calling “the personal ministry of the Word.” In relationship to Brian’s ten questions, I’ll introduce two themes—the sufficiency of Scripture and progressive sanctification—as they relate to “biblical counseling” and “spiritual formation.”

Join the Conversation

What implications do you see for “the personal ministry of the Word” from Brian’s ten questions in A New Kind of Christianity?

Monday, March 01, 2010

Creative Suffering

Remember to bookmark and visit our new blog and website: http://www.rpmministries.org/

I've posted twice as many free resources, scores of book reviews, daily blogs, videos, and more--all because I know "You Want to Change Lives!"

So drop by our
fresh new site!

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Creative Suffering


Countdown to God’s Healing: I’m excited to announce that BMH Books will release my fifth book soon (in April 2010). To read a sample section of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting please click here. To pre-order your autographed copy at 30% off, please visit here.

As we countdown to the release, I’ll be sharing periodic excerpts, such as today’s post: Creative Suffering.

Take Heart

We need to be able to deal with life’s losses in the context of God’s healing. Jesus did. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Peace. With one word Jesus quiets the quest of our soul. We thirst for peace—shalom, wholeness, stillness, rest, healing.

Take heart. Hope. Come alive again.

That’s what you long for. I know it is, because it’s what I want.

The Anvil of God

We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us. When it does, when the weight of the world crushes us, squeezes the life out of us, we need hope. New life. A resuscitated heart. A resurrected life.

Brilliantly the Apostle Paul deals simultaneously with grieving and hoping. Do not “grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Paul, who offers people the Scriptures and his own soul (1 Thessalonians 2:8), skillfully ministers to sufferers.

To blend losses and healing, grieving and hoping, requires creative suffering. Frank Lake powerfully depicts the process.

“There is no human experience which cannot be put on the anvil of a lively relationship with God and man, and battered into a meaningful shape.”

Notice what the anvil is—a lively relationship with God and God’s people. Notice the process—battering. Notice the result—meaning, purpose. What cannot be removed, God makes creatively bearable.

Converting Suffering

Another individual, this one intimately acquainted with grief, also pictures creative suffering. British hostage, Terry Waite, spent 1,460 days in solitary confinement in his prison cell in Beirut. Reflecting on his savage mistreatment and his constant struggle to maintain his faith, he reveals:

“I have been determined in captivity, and still am determined, to convert this experience into something that will be useful and good for other people. I think that’s the way to approach suffering. It seems to me that Christianity doesn’t in any way lessen suffering. What it does is enable you to take it, to face it, to work through it and eventually convert it.”

Creative suffering doesn’t simply accept suffering, through the Cross it creatively converts it. In God’s Healing for Life’s Losses, our passion is to learn together how to grieve but not as those who have no hope.

Join the Conversation

What do you think about Terry Waite’s perspective? Christianity doesn’t lesson suffering, but enables you to face it, work through it, and convert it.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

God's Healing for Life's Losses

Please remember to bookmark and visit my new blog and website:
http://www.rpmministries.org/

I've posted twice as many free resources, scores of book reviews, daily blogs, and more--all because I know "You Want to Change Lives!"

So please drop by my fresh new site at: http://www.rpmministries.org/


God's Healing for Life's Losses: How to Find Hope When You're Hurting

I’m excited to announce the upcoming (April 2010) release by BMH Books of my fifth book: God’s Healing for Life’s Losses: How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting.

I’ll be sharing more about the book in the coming days. Here’s the current wording for the back cover.

Find Hope When Your Hurting—Biblically and Relevantly

You’re tired of quick quips (“Just trust God”) and false hopes (“Time heals all wounds”). You’re ready for real and raw, honest and hopeful conversation about suffering, loss, and grief—from a Christian perspective. You’re longing for real answers, for real people, with real struggles. You’ve come to the right place. When life’s losses invade your world, learn how to face suffering face-to-face with God. Learn how to journey:

 From Denial to Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn
 From Anger to Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss
 From Bargaining to Crying Out to God: I Surrender All
 From Depression to Comfort: God Comes
 From Regrouping to Waiting: When God Says “Not Yet”
 From Deadening to Wailing: Pregnant with Hope
 From Despairing to Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics
 From Digging Cisterns to Worshipping: Finding God

How do you deal with suffering and despair; the times when life seems so overwhelming that you just want to give up? Bob Kellemen has the answers. If you’re looking for tired clichés (“Just put on a happy face”), impersonal academic discourse, and worldly wisdom, then this is not the book for you. But if you want a thoroughly biblical and intensely honest examination of suffering from someone who has walked the path from “hurt to hope in Christ,” then God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is just the book for you.
—Ian Jones, Ph.D., Chairman, Counseling Department, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses takes on traditional thoughts about grief and loss and turns them upside down. Dr. Kellemen takes us down to take us up as he develops a biblical theology of suffering and hope. There is a refreshing honesty about the pain of loss and the permission to be real with God and others as we embrace the mourning process together. This book is biblical, personal and healing; I highly recommend it.”
—Garrett Higbee, Psy. D., President, Twelve Stones Ministries; Executive Director, Harvest Biblical Soul Care

Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, served for over a dozen years as Chairman of the Master of Arts in Christian Counseling and Discipleship Department at Capital Bible Seminary. In his three pastoral ministries, Bob has ministered to 100s of grieving parishioners. In his role as Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmminstries.org/) Bob is known for his Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed approach to equipping God’s people to use God’s Word in their personal ministry.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Forty-Day Journey of Promise

We've Moved!

Please remember to bookmark and visit my new blog and website:

http://www.rpmministries.org/

I've posted twice as many free resources, scores of book reviews, daily blogs, and more--all because I know "You Want to Change Lives!"

So please drop by my fresh new site at: http://www.rpmministries.org/

The Forty-Day Journey of Promise
Learning Life Lessons from the Legacy of African American Christianity

Do you desire to learn how to move beyond suffering to the place of God’s healing hope?

Do you long for church community that’s truly a taste of eternity (Rev. 7:9-10) where we’ll worship together forever in unity and diversity?

Do you want to grow in your ability to relate across cultures?

Then join the journey!

Join the Journey

Join me on a forty-day intercultural journey of promise.

I’ll be blogging during the forty (+) days from Martin Luther King Day on January 18, 2010, to the end of Black History Month on February 28, 2009.

I know, technically, that’s forty-two days.

On January 18, I’ll kick-off our journey by linking the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., to some of his historic African American predecessors in the faith. In fact, from January 16-18, I’ll offer three posts related to MLK Day and Black Church history.

Then on February 28, we’ll share a day of reflection on the previous forty-day journey.

Our Journey Together: The Big Idea

We’ll focus on learning life lessons from the legacy of African American Christianity.

Each day we’ll enjoy a stirring narrative from the heroes and heroines of Black Church history.

Then we’ll ponder applications of this remarkable legacy to all of our lives today—regardless of our ethnicity, nationality, race, or cultural background.

Every post will include discussion questions so that in your family and your church you can ponder the implications for your lives and ministries.

Bonus for Joining the Journey

As an added bonus, I’ll select five people who commented the most during these 40 (42/44) days to receive:

1. A complimentary, autographed copy of Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction.

2. A complimentary e-copy of the entire Forty-Day Journey of Promise.

Your Head Start on Our Journey of Promise

The Journey is your appetizer. If you’d like the full course meal, go here to learn about, read a sample chapter from, and purchase your autographed copy of Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction.

Join the Conversation (Post a Comment Here for a Chance to Receive a Copy of Beyond the Suffering)

1. In your life, where do you long for help in moving beyond suffering and hurt to God’s healing help and hope?

2. What does the Church today need to do to reflect the multi-ethnic diversity commanded (Col. 3:10) and illustrated (Rev. 7:9-10) in Scripture?

3. What are some of the reasons that Sunday morning remains the most segregated hour in America?

Note: This series is based upon material from the book Beyond the Suffering. If you’d like to learn more about Beyond the Suffering, click here.