Showing posts with label Biblical Cousneling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Biblical Cousneling. Show all posts

Thursday, September 24, 2009

How to Care Like Christ

Be Empowered to Care Like Christ

Do you minister to people’s personal needs and care deeply, but desire further equipping so you can care like Christ?

Do you want to be empowered to use the Bible more wisely, powerfully, and lovingly?


Then attend the RPM Ministries Changing Lives Seminar: How to Care Like Christ.

Select from two upcoming RPM Ministries How to Care Like Christ Seminars:

1. Saturday, October 10, 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at Grace Baptist Church, 7210 Race Track Road, Bowie, MD 20715.

Cost: $25 per person if registered by October 3. ($35 at the Door.) Your costs include a continental breakfast, a light lunch, the seminar notes, and the full-day seminar presentation by Dr. Kellemen.

To Register:

*Contact Pastor Mark Tanious at 301-262-1767.

*Or, download the online registration at:
http://bit.ly/zJMvy

*Or, contact:
secretary@gbcbowie.org

To Learn More:

Please visit:
http://bit.ly/lX5PG

2. Saturday, October 31, 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church, 1615 Third Street, N.W., Washington DC.

*Cost: $25 per person. Your costs include a continental breakfast, a light lunch, the seminar notes, and the full-day seminar presentation by Dr. Kellemen.

To Register:

*Contact the Church Office at 202-667-1833 and ask for Minister Charles Traylor and the Changing Lives Seminar.

*Or, email Paula Stevens-Lassiter at
mtsinaidc@verizon.net

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Spiritual Conversations on Race Relations


The President, the Professor, and the Police Officer:
Oh for a Spiritual Conversation!

By the time you read this, President Obama’s meeting with Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley will be filling the airwaves, the blogosphere, and print media.

Those who follow my writings know the importance that I place on intercultural relationships. You also know that several days before “the incident” became big news, I was blogging about the racial repercussions (
http://bit.ly/TfTXK and http://bit.ly/eHE0X).

Everyone will be talking about intercultural racial understanding, which is a good thing—a vital conversation. Undoubtedly, President Obama will focus on improving racial understanding. Again, a very worthy cause.

But if we are to “diagnose” accurately the ultimate “cause” of “the incident,” then I believe we have to look at it spiritually. I’d like to suggest that there is another, deeper issue at work here. Further, I’d like to propose that unless we make this issue the primary issue, we’ll never adequately address race relationships.

What Causes Fights and Quarrels Among You?

Of course, much more could be said, has been said, and will be said about intercultural relationships. But most observers have left out the human element. They’ve omitted the psychological aspect. They’ve ignored the biblical explanation.

In James 4:1, James ask one of the most profound questions imaginable.

“What causes the fights and quarrels among you?”

James answer?

“Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures.”

Both Professor Gates and Sgt. Crowley are good men, I’m sure. However, they are mere men. Mortals. Biblically speaking, they are sinful, fallen, and even if Christians, not-yet-perfected and still struggling against the world, the flesh, and the devil.

These two imperfect men handled an imperfect situation imperfectly. Well, let’s say it the way the Bible words it. They handled it sinfully and selfishly.

Let me be honest. I’ve done the same thing countless times. And the only way I’ve resolved such issues has been to confess my sinful selfishness.

I wonder what would happen if President Obama led Professor Gates and Sgt. Crowley in a spiritual conversation that probed the personal heart motivations of each man. I wonder if the results might be confessions such as these…

From Sgt. Crowley:

“Look I can describe this situation a million ways and claim that I was only doing my job. But the truth is, in addition to trying to do my job, I let my sinful, selfish male ego take over. When Professor Gates antagonized me, I didn’t get what I wanted. I wanted respect. My peers were standing there watching me. I was being dissed.”

“Just like the Bible says, when I didn’t get what I desired (in this case—respect), instead of going to God and asking of Him humbly, I tried to control things on my own. I tried to prove that I was worthy of respect. I retaliated and I manipulated. Sure, I can state legal codes I used to justify my arrest of Professor Crowley. But none of those look inside my heart to see what motivated my actions and reactions.”

“I could have stepped away. I could have turned and ignored his words. I could have walked away and left the appearance that he had “won.” But I didn’t. I’m a male. A sinful male. And I hate to lose. I hate to lose face. I like being in charge, being the boss. I reacted selfishly. I reacted sinfully. He hurt me and so I hurt him back. He disrespected me, so I disrespected him. I was sinful, selfish, and wrong.”

From Professor Gates:

“Look, I can put all the spin on this in the world. I’m good with words. I can make myself look like the innocent victim. I mean, I was simply trying to get into my own home after a week away. But the truth is, in addition to just wanting a good night’s sleep in my own bed, I let my sinful, selfish male ego take over. When Sgt. Crowley demanded my ID in my own home, I didn’t get what I wanted. I wanted to be valued, to be seen as an equally valuable human being. Instead, I was being treated like a common criminal. Perhaps being viewed with racially tainted eyes. My neighbors were watching. My colleagues would find out. I was being humiliated."

“Just like the Bible says, when I didn’t get what I desired (in this case—being valued as an equal), instead of going to God and asking of Him humbly, I tried to control things on my own. I tried to prove that I was worthy, significant. I retaliated and I manipulated. Sure, I can state legal reasons why I am free to practice free speech on my own porch. And I can state historical, racial reasons why it was important for me to stand up for my race, for my people. But none of those look inside my heart to see what motivated my actions and reactions.”

“I could have calmed down. I could have simply shown my ID, thanked Sgt. Crowley for doing his job, and walked away and left the appearance that he was in charge and I wasn’t. But I didn’t. I’m a male. I’m a sinful male. And I hate to be overpowered. I hate to be bullied and put down. I reacted selfishly. I reacted sinfully. He hurt me and so I hurt him back. He tried to overpower me with his badge and legal authority, so I tried to overpower him with my words and moral authority. I was sinful, selfish, and wrong.”

Is That What We Will Hear?

Of course, that’s not what we are likely to hear. I’d love to be shocked and surprised though.

You see, when we only make relationships racial, and when we fail to see the personal issues—the moral, spiritual issues at work—then we fail to get at the heart of the issue.

We will never settle racial sin unless and until we deal with personal sin.

Yes, we need additional national conversations on race relationships.

But much more we need ongoing additional national and personal spiritual conversations on what truly causes the fights and quarrels among us. They are caused by our sinful refusal to humbly turn to God when others sin against us. We take matters into our own hands rather than raising humble hands to God. We raise angry fists to each other instead of raising open palms to God. We blame others rather than accepting personal spiritual responsibility.

Of course, it’s easy for us to point fingers of blame and guilt at either or both Professor Gates and/or Sgt. Crowley. But are we willing to engage in spiritual conversations with spiritual friends that expose our own spiritual selfishness?

I’ll say it again. We will never settle racial sin unless and until we deal with personal sin.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Your Personal Invitation to Be Equipped

Be Equipped to Change Lives

I’d like to invite you to join me at the AACC’s World Conference from Wednesday, September 16, 2009 through Saturday, September 19, 2009 in Nashville, TN.

Our Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Network (BCSFN) has many equipping events planned to empower you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

BCSFN Pre-Conference

The BCSFN will hold its first “Conference-within-a Conference” during the AACC World Pre-Conference on Wednesday, September 18.

In the morning session from 9:00 AM to Noon, I will present on Developing a Theology and Methodology of Biblical Counseling. Learn seven essential biblical counseling competencies necessary to build a truly scriptural approach to Christian counseling.

In the afternoon session from 2:00 to 5:00 PM, Ron Hawkins will present on Using the Bible Accurately and Effectively in Biblical Counseling.

To register for the Pre-Conference go here
http://tinyurl.com/nw5z2p and then select the Pre-Conferences by Kellemen and Hawkins to join others interested in biblical counseling and spiritual formation equipping.

BCSFN Track Presentations

During the AACC World Conference, from Thursday, September 17 to Saturday, September 19, the BCSFN has its own track, where we will be hearing from the following speakers:

*Ian F. Jones, “Biblical Counseling in the Historical Church,” Thursday, September 17, 8:45 to 10:00 AM, Session 103.

*Gary Moon, “Discipleship vs. Apprenticeship: An Experiential Approach to Spiritual Growth,” Thursday, September 17, 2:15 to 3:30 PM, Session 203.

*Robert W. Kellemen, “How to Practice Comprehensive Biblical Counseling: Implementing a Dozen Dreams,” Friday, September 18, 8:45-10:00 AM, Session 303. Learn how to care like Christ by providing Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

*Scott E. Wiggington, “For Crying Out Loud: Reclaiming the Lost Language of Lament in Christian Counseling,” Friday, September 18, 2:15 to 3:30 PM, Session 403.

*Phil Monroe, “Engaging Biblical Texts in Trauma Therapy,” Friday, September 18, 4:15 to 5:30 PM, Session 503.

*John Thomas, “What’s Good About Feeling Bad: Developing a Theology of Suffering, Saturday, September 19, 8:45 to 10:00 AM, Session 603.

*Rick Marrs, “Making Christian Counseling More Christ-Centered,” Saturday, September 19, 2:15-3:30 PM, Session 703.

To register for the AACC World Conference Tracks, go here
http://tinyurl.com/l284w6 and then select the Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Foundations tracks when you sign-up.

BCSFN Mixer

Please join us on Friday evening for the BCSFN Mixer. Our time together will include fellowship, connecting, discussing the latest happenings in the BCSFN, and interacting about ways our division can better equip our members. We want to get to know you and benefit from your participation!

Register for the AACC World Conference

Please visit the following link to register for the 2009 AACC World Conference:
http://www.aacc.net/conferences/2009-world-conference/

I look forward to connecting with each of you.

Monday, December 31, 2007

To Know and Be Known

To Know and Be Known

It seems that every few years the “in” Christian counseling model shifts. The current “in” thing is spirituality: spiritual direction, soul care, spiritual friendship.

Those who know me know that I’ve been in on this “in” craze of spirituality (soul care and spiritual direction) for over a quarter century. So, I’m not bolting from it now—especially since it has a lengthy history (try since creation).

And I’m not bolting even though some in the so-called “discernment movement” discern evil new age ideology every time someone says the word “spiritual.” More on that topic in a later blog.

The Key to Truly Biblical Counseling

Here’s the point. Models of counseling come and go. But the key to truly biblical counseling is relationship.

Again, even here there are those who quickly jump on the psycho-heresy bandwagon and claim that any talk about human relationships makes an approach secular and humanistic. As if God never said, “It is not good for Adam to be alone.”

How does one Christian help another Christian in the Christian life to exalt God by enjoying God? It is done via relationships in which we live the truth in love.

This is not secular hooey. This is biblical foundations.

The High Priestly Prayer of Christ

In Christ’s great high priestly prayer in John 17 (the true “Lord’s Prayer”), Jesus lays out His plan for Christianity. Seems we might want to listen to what Christ says about how Christians live out Christianity!

Jesus prays that Christians might be one just as the Son and Father are one. “Just as You, Father, are in me and I am in You” (John 17:20-21).

In the context of John’s Gospel and of John 17, Jesus’ prescription for oneness is clear. God calls us to know each other intimately and to love each other deeply. To know and be known.

Honest Relational Questions

So, whatever title we give to our models of counseling, we should be asking ourselves questions that undergird our counseling. Counseling is nothing more and nothing less than how we relate to one another in the body of Christ to encourage one another to be more like Christ; more one with Christ, so Christ is glorified.

So, whether pastor, professional Christian counselor, spiritual director, or lay spiritual friend, how are we answering these questions?

“Do I really know my spouse? Does my spouse know me intimately?”

“Do I know my children deeply? Do my children know me openly?”

“Do I know my co-workers and fellow-laborers? Do they know me?”

“Do I really know the people in my church; in my small group? Do they know me?”

“Do I know my parishioners, my counselees, and my spiritual friends? Do they know me?"


Christian counseling, by whatever branding, should be branded with the high priestly prayer of Jesus—to know and be known. To be one as the Trinity is one—a mutual relationship of intimacy.

Who really knows you? Who do you let in? Open up to? Are real and raw with? And who do you really know in a deep, intimate, honest, open way?

Forget, “Where’s the beef?” (You have to be my age to even remember that in the first place.)

Ask, “Where’s the relationship?” Where is the biblical relationship in my “counseling,” “pastoral ministry,” and “lay spiritual friendship?” Yes, where’s the relationship? Who knows us? Who do we know? To know and be known—the essence of true ministry.