Abuse and Divorce

Counseling and Abuse in Marriage
Part 6: Abuse and Divorce

Summary: Marital abuse is one of the most traumatic issues an individual, couple, family, and church can face. Discussing it raises hotly defended convictions. How should God’s people respond to “abuse in marriage”?

Extreme Responses

So far we’ve explored how the church and individuals within the church can demonstrate Christ’s care during the crisis of marital abuse.

However, some are somewhat quick to say, “All this talk about helping and counseling and reconciliation is foolish. Just tell them to get a divorce!”

Sadly, on the other hand, some in the church have been known to turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to marital abuse. They quickly victimize the victim by denying any abuse is occurring, without investigating the situation, or they are aware of the abuse and tell the abused spouse, often the wife, “Just submit!”

So what is the truth? Does the Bible offer grounds for divorce based upon abuse?

The Bible and Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

Hundreds of books have been written on the topic of the Bible and divorce. Theological students have written dissertations of hundreds of pages on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Churches have split over interpretations surrounding divorce.

If you want to explore the issue further, consider Divorce and Remarriage: Four Christian Views: http://tinyurl.com/lgzj4w.

Also consider Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible by Jay Adams: http://tinyurl.com/ncn8hr.

My “brief” blog post will not solve the issue. Plus, this blog series is not about divorce in general, but about abuse in marriage and whether that may be grounds for divorce.

Abuse and Separation

Some people have said, based upon 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul says couples should only be apart for a short time for prayer and fasting, that separation for abuse is never biblical. Personally, I hardly think that Paul planned for his words, given in the context of prayer and fasting, to be applied when a spouse is being abused. As I said in the first post in this series, in the case of physical abuse, safety is the first priority—and often that requires separation while church and civil authorities address the abusive spouse.

Abuse and Divorce: What Others Are Saying

For Evangelical Christians, we can’t answer issues based upon our feelings or opinions. We must attempt to understand how to relate God’s timeless truth to our changing times.

Some Evangelicals do not see any grounds for divorce in the Bible.

Other Evangelicals would say that biblical grounds for divorce are limited to adultery (Matthew 19) and abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7).

Most Evangelicals, regarding divorce in general, would say that even if divorce were permitted for those two grounds, that confession, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation and always the preferred response.

David L. Snuth, in “Divorce and Remarriage from the Early Church to John Wesley” (Trinity Journal 11.2, Fall 1990: 131-142) shares an historical perspective. Somewhat surprisingly, according to his research, the Reformers like Luther and Calvin saw abuse as one possible ground for divorce.

Apparently, like some commentators, pastors, and counselors today, some in Church history interpreted 1 Corinthians 7 and abandonment by an unbeliever to include various behaviors indicative of abandoning marital vows and roles. So, since husbands, for instance, are called to love and cherish their wives, a habitually unrepentant husband who is emotionally, verbally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, sexually, and/or physically abusing his wife, could be deemed to be living like an unbeliever who has abandoned his marital vows and his duties to his wife. Therefore, some have said in Church history and some say today, abuse could be grounds for divorce, especially habitually, unrepentant abuse.

Of course, some in history and some today would respond, “Well, that opens the door for divorce for just about anything that anyone wants to claim is ‘abuse.’” Others would say, “That simply is not an accurate interpretation or application of 1 Corinthians 7.”

What Do You Think?

What is your conviction? Biblically, what should happen to the marriage when abuse occurs?

The Journey: Day Twenty-Nine--Modeling Ministry

The Journey: Forty Days of Promise
Celebrating the Legacy of African American Christianity

Day Twenty-Nine: Modeling Ministry Commitment

[1]Excerpted from, modified from, and quoted from Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Purchase your copy at 40% off for only $10.00 at www.rpmministries.org.

Welcome to day twenty-nine of our forty-day intercultural journey. From Martin Luther King Day to the end of Black History Month we are focusing on The Journey: Forty Days of Promise—Celebrating the Legacy of African American Christianity.

Day Twenty-Nine: Modeling Ministry Commitment[1]

African American founding fathers emphasized in their messages and modeled in their ministries a Black Protestant work ethic. The oft-imagined, but quite-mistaken view of African American male slaves as lazy and slothful was crushed by both slave and free African American pastors.

Some slaves in the South were able to establish independent churches during the Revolutionary era. Perhaps the earliest to do so was George Liele. Born in Virginia, in 1742, he moved with his master, Henry Sharpe, to Burke County, Georgia, a few years before the Revolutionary War. Liele was converted under the preaching of Baptist Matthew Moore at his master’s church. In 1777, Liele founded a Black Baptist congregation at Yama Craw, outside Savannah.

Eyewitness accounts applauded his commitment to ministry, even while still a lay person. “He began to discover his love to other negroes, on the same plantation with himself, by reading hymns among them, encouraging them to sing, and sometimes by explaining the most striking parts of them.”

Liele’s own account equally expresses his passion for serving God and God’s people. “Desiring to prove the sense I had of my obligations to God, I endeavoured to instruct the people of my own color in the Word of God: the white brethren seeing my endeavours, and that the word of the Lord seemed to be blessed, gave me a call at a quarterly meeting to preach before the congregation.”

Instant in Season and Out

Later licensed (by whites) as a minister, Liele served in Yama Craw and in Kingston, Jamaica. As a pastor, he preached twice on Sunday, and twice during the week. “I receive nothing for my services; I preach, baptize, administer the Lord’s supper, and travel from place to place to publish the gospel, and to settle church affairs, all freely.”

Like the Apostle Paul, Liele supported himself through his own industry. “My occupation is a farmer, but as the seasons in this part of the country, are uncertain, I also keep a team of horses, and wagons for the carrying goods from one place to another; which I attend to myself, with the assistance of my sons; and by this way of life have gained the good will of the public, who recommends me to business, and to some very principal work for government.” Like countless other African American founding fathers, Liele’s industry became a benchmark urging other African American males towards responsibility and productivity.

Liele’s model stuck. One of his converts and disciples, Andrew Bryan, accepted the baton of pastoral leadership at Yama Craw. Like his mentor, Bryan personified sacrificial ministry. White citizens, worried about slave rebellion, had him arrested and whipped twice for holding “illegal” meetings. According to an early Baptist historian, Andrew “told his persecutors that he rejoiced not only to be whipped, but would freely suffer death for the cause of Jesus Christ.”

Learning Together from Our Great Cloud of Witnesses

1. What impact could knowledge of an African American leader like George Liele have upon Americans? African Americans? African American males?

2. How could you apply Liele’s ministry commitment to your life?