The Narrative of Relationship

How to Care Like Christ
Part V: The Narrative of Relationship

Blog Series Note: How to Care Like Christ equips lay people, pastors, and professional Christian counselors with the biblical knowledge and relational skills to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Read the Bible as the Story of Relationship Initiated, Rejected, and Fought For: Genesis 1-3

If we are to use the Bible to nourish hungry souls, then we must hear the Bible’s story the way God tells it. And God tells it in story form, as a narrative of relationship. Over 75% of the Bible is narrative, and the rest of the Bible involves passionate psalms, wisdom applied to life, and personal letters to real people in real life situations and relationships. The Bible is 100% relational!

The Bible begins by telling the story of relationship initiated and rejected (Genesis 1-3). After those first three chapters, the rest of the Bible tells the story of God wooing us back to Him self, all the while fighting the Evil One who wants to seduce us away from our first love. Ever since Genesis 3, life is a battle for our love—the ageless question of who captures our heart—Christ or Satan.

Our biblical ministry is sterile and dead if we see the Bible as a textbook. But if we read and use the Bible as the story of the battle to win our hearts, then our counseling comes alive.

Relate God’s Truth to Human Relationships through Trialogues: Matthew 18:20

But what does this mean? Does dispensing God’s Word mean that we tell our counselees and parishioners to “take two Scriptures and call us in the morning”? Does it mean that life is so simple that it consists of a one-problem-one-verse-one-solution formula? No. Nor does it mean we make the Bible relevant. The Bible is relevant. We have to work hard to make it boring and irrelevant. We need to learn to use the Bible in relationally relevant ways.

Soul physicians do so by mastering the art of the trialogue. In a monologue, I talk to you, teach you, or preach to you. In a dialogue, the two of us converse back and forth. However, in a trialogue, you and I engage a third party in our interaction—the Holy Spirit by way of His inspired Word. “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20, KJV). Counseling is a powerful trialogue interaction about God’s Word between three people—a counselor, a counselee, and the Wonderful Counselor.

We take the specific issue the person is struggling against, and with them we explore together specific biblical passages and specific biblical principles that relate God’s truth to their life. In preaching (the pulpit ministry of the Word), we “bomb the shores.” It’s like a shotgun because we have to share in a monologue truth to 100s of different people. But in counseling (the personal ministry of the Word), we engage in “hand-to-hand combat.” It’s like a rifle because we can zero in with one person, talking back and forth about how our friend might apply various Scriptures and biblical principles to personal issues.

So What in Your Relationships? So What in Your Ministry?

So what? What difference should nourishing the hungry soul with God’s Word make? In how you live and in how you minister, what difference could it make if you:

*Feasted on and helped others to feast on God’s Word?

*Made truth and love kiss as you ministered to hurting and hardened people?

*Read and shared the Bible as the story of the battle for our hearts?

*Related God’s truth to human relationships through trialogues—personally relating truth to life?

The Rest of the Story

*Return tomorrow when we explore how to nourish the spiritual hunger of the soul.

*For the full story, feel free to visit: http://bit.ly/7vaE

Nourish the Hunger of the Soul

How to Care Like Christ
Part IV: Nourish the Hunger of the Soul

Blog Series Note: How to Care Like Christ equips lay people, pastors, and professional Christian counselors with the biblical knowledge and relational skills to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Preventative Medicine—God’s Word (Matthew 4:4)

Doctoring the body does not begin with the treatment of illness, but with preventive maintenance of health. Knowing how to keep the body healthy requires that we understand what the body needs. What diet? What nutrients?

So it is with doctoring the soul. What does the soul need? What nutrients? Jesus reminds us in Matthew 4:4 that we do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Our souls need the Bread of Life, the Word of Life. What are the implications of this for biblical counseling?

Feast on the Word of God: Coram Deo Sola Scriptura—Colossians 2:3-10; 2 Peter 1:3

We nourish the Word-hunger of our soul by feasting on the Word of God. Martin Luther called this living coram Deo sola scriptura: face-to-face with God by Scripture alone. Deo is Latin for God; coram is Latin for in the presence of, face-to-face with, sola means alone, and Scriptura is Scripture. Luther used this phrase to illustrate that we live and breathe with reference to God every second in every situation. Luther perceived all of life as a story of personal encounter with God, that the deepest questions in the human soul are God questions, and that we find our deepest answers in God’s Word.

Paul sends the same message when he insists that in Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Therefore, we must not let anyone take us captive through worldly philosophy which depends on human reason instead of upon Christ (Colossians 2:3-10). Peter echoes Paul when he reminds us that in Christ we have all things that pertain unto life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). The Word of God is profound—it deeply addresses the real life issues of real people in a really messy world! That’s why biblical counselors join their spiritual friends in feasting on God’s Word for daily existence.

Make Truth and Love Kiss: Philippians 1:9-10; Ephesians 4:15; 1 Thessalonians 2:8

As we minister God’s Word to people’s suffering and sin, we must make truth and love kiss. We need to make Philippians 1:9-10 our spiritual friendship prayer. “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best.”

Love is not enough. Truth is not enough. Love and truth must kiss. When our love abounds in depth of insight, we are able to discern what is best for our lives and for the lives of our spiritual friends.

Paul is excited. It is as if he says, “I’m praying that your love very much exceedingly spills over!” The word he uses for “abound” relates to the word used for the abundance remaining after Christ fed the 5,000. It speaks of liberality, lavishness, overabundance, and spoiling. Don’t you want to spoil others with Christ’s love?

You can if you do it in full knowledge and depth of insight. “Full knowledge” pictures noticing attentively, discerning, fully perceiving, observing, and discovering. That’s what God calls soul physicians to do: diligently dig to uncover the buried treasure of truth contained in God’s Word.

“Depth of insight” suggests the experiential use of wisdom—knowledge applied to life. Don’t you long to share Christ’s changeless truth to change people’s lives?

The Rest of the Story

*Return tomorrow when we explore how to nourish the spiritual hunger of the soul.

*For the full story, feel free to visit: http://bit.ly/7vaE

Soul Physician's Desk Reference Manual

How to Care Like Christ
Part III: The Soul Physician’s Desk Reference (SPDR) Manual

Blog Series Note: How to Care Like Christ seeks to equip lay people, pastors, and professional Christian counselors with the biblical knowledge and relational skills to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Two books are standard in any physician’s office: The Physician’s Desk Reference (PDR) and The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy (Merck). Both are considered “Bibles of medical knowledge and practice.”

With its 3,223 pages of prescription drugs, the annually updated PDR is the most comprehensive, widely used drug reference available. It details the usage, warnings, and precautions for more than 4,000 prescription drugs.

Merck is the most widely used medical text in the world. It provides the latest information on the vast expanse of human diseases, disorders, and injuries, as well as their symptoms and treatments. Intended for physicians, it is still useful for the layperson. As one sage has commented, “It is a must for everyone in a human body.”

If the PDR and Merck are the Old Testament and New Testament for physicians treating the body, then the Bible is God’s final, authoritative word for physicians treating the soul. It is the Soul Physician’s Desk Reference (SPDR) manual for dispensing grace. It’s “a must for anyone who is a soul.” God’s Word provides not only the latest, but also the eternal, enduring information on the soul’s design and disease, as well as its care and cure.

What do we discover as we read the pages of the Soul Physician’s Desk Reference (SPDR)? We learn what makes biblical counseling biblical. We learn our Great Physician’s authoritative truth about how to:

1. Nourish the Hunger of the Soul: Preventive Medicine—God’s Word
2. Know the Creator of the Soul: The Great Physician—The Trinity
3. Examine the Spiritual Anatomy of the Soul: People—Creation
4. Diagnose the Fallen Condition of the Soul: Problems—Fall
5. Prescribe God’s Cure for the Soul: Solutions—Redemption
6. Envision the Final Healing of the Soul: Home—Glorification
7. Dispense God’s Care for the Soul: Spiritual Friends—Sanctification

These seven biblical categories are essential for seeing the life of the soul through the lens of Scripture. We will examine them meticulously, as a med-school student examines the skeletal structure of the human body.

The Rest of the Story

*Return tomorrow when we explore how to nourish the spiritual hunger of the soul.

*For the full story, feel free to visit: http://bit.ly/7vaE

The False Seducer's Story

Soul Physicians: Chapter Six Review
The False Seducer’s Story

Note: This is a guest blog by Pastor Mark Kelly who is working his way through Soul Physicians section by section and blogging along the journey. Thanks Pastor Mark! Visit Mark’s excellent, informative blog at: http://gracedependent.com/. Posted on August 31.

This is a review of chapter 6 of Dr. Bob Kellemen’s Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction.

Look in anyone’s photo album of their wedding day. There is no hint of upcoming disaster, affairs or illicit relationships. Rather there are broad smiles, couples enthralled with the beauty of their spouse…stars in their eyes, oblivious to those gathered to celebrate with them. What happens? Why is it that divorce rates are so high? Where did the commitment go? “How is anyone first lured into an affair?” (p.97)

How do we move from being captivated by the wonder of God to losing our love for Him?

In chapter 6, Dr. Kellemen describes the one that would seduce us and draw us away from our Worthy Groom. It is Satan, the once beautiful, glorious cherub, now accuser of man and destroyer of all that is good. It is in this chapter that Dr. K reveals the personality of our chief enemy:

*Diabolos is a Relational Being: The false seducer who allures others to divorce the Worthy Groom

1. “In our fallenness, we bear Satan’s image whenever we turn our backs on God, whenever we turn to anyone but God for ultimate satisfaction, whenever we worship anyone but God, whenever we choose to be self-sufficient, whenever we refuse to be needy” (p.98)

2. These are tough words to hear. They are even tougher to communicate in a loving way to those with whom we counsel. God will not give His glory to another. We are created to worship Him and bring Him glory.

*Diabolos is a Rational Being: The great deciever who blinds others to the Worthy Groom’s beauty and majesty

1. “In our fallenness, we bear Satan’s image whenever we choose to leave God out of the picture, whenever we choose to look at life with eyeballs only instead of looking at life with spiritual eyes – from God’s perspective. The essence of our rational sin is our refusal to maintain a biblical image of God” (p.98)

2. How easy it is to fall for Satan’s deceptions! We are constantly bombarded with the fact that we can’t trust God, that He does not have our best interest in mind – to believe that God’s glory is a myth.

*Diabolos is a Volitional Being: The man slayer who condemns to death the sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve

1. “In our fallenness, we bear Satan’s image whenever we bite and devour one another (Gal.5:15). We bear his image whenever our tongues bitterly attack others (James 3). Who are we destroying with our bitterness? Who are we condemning and shaming with our judgmental accusations?” (p.99)

2. Satan not only seeks to destroy us individually, but to use us in the destruction of others. He is labeled biblically as a lion, a dragon and an accuser of the brothers. How often we resemble him more than Christ!

*Diabolos is an Emotional Being: The desperate hater who despises others

1. “We bear Satan’s fallen image whenever we search for satisfaction in the temporal and the sensual. When we do, we enslave ourselves to constant addictive dissatisfaction that leads to a continual lust for more – endless cravings to grasp, take, hoard, and clutch. However, the more we grasp, the more we shrink”. (p.100)

2. Why do we settle for so much less than what God has for us? Where are we seeking satisfaction? Satan would have us seek gratification in the temporal, God would have us seek gratification in the eternal.

This chapter was a difficult one to review. I would much rather read of the glorious nature of God than to be reminded of the evil that seeks to destroy me…or face areas of life where I bear Satan’s image more than the image of Christ. We must remind one another of the Truth that is our defense, the Light that dispels darkness and the Grace which restores when we fail.

Preview Soul Physicians here: http://bit.ly/7vaE

The Tale of Two Counselors

How to Care Like Christ
Part II: The Tale of Two Counselors

Several years ago, “Tim” (not his real name) shared his story with me. His uncle had repeatedly sexually abused him while he was in elementary school. Tim never told anyone about the damage in his soul until he finally found the courage to tell a pastoral counselor. Hear Jim’s words.

“Bob, it was incredibly hard. I felt so ashamed, but I got the words out—sobbing as I shared. The second I finished, my counselor whipped out his Bible, turned to Genesis 3, and preached a thirty-minute message on sin. Bob, it wasn’t even a good sermon! But worse than that, I knew that I was a sinner. I’m clueless as to how my pastoral counselor intended to relate that passage to my situation. At that second, did I need a sermon on my personal sin?”

Tim did not return for his second session with his pastoral counselor. Instead, he arranged an appointment with a professional Christian counselor. Here is Tim’s rendition of his second counseling experience.

“Bob, at first things went well. My counselor seemed to be able to relate to me, seemed to have compassion for what I went through. But after two months of counseling I was ready to have him help me move beyond sympathy and empathy. I knew that I wasn’t loving my wife and kids like Christ wanted me to. But my counselor kept telling me that I was too hard on myself and that I was too damaged to love the way I wanted to love.”

The tale of two counselors. One hears a sordid story of sexual abuse and immediately responds to his sobbing counselee with a sermon on sin. The second hears his counselee’s longing to move beyond damage to dignity, from victim to victory, and informs him that he’s too disabled to function fully. These two diverse approaches illustrate the ongoing divide concerning what makes biblical counseling biblical. Just what is biblical one another ministry?

Tim’s story forces us to ask ourselves some hard questions. Practical questions such as:

*In your own life, do you tend to be more on the “truth/Scripture side” or more on the “love/soul side”? Why?

*Has anyone ever interacted with you like either of Tim’s counselors? What did it feel like? What were the results?

*What view of the Bible and of “people helping” might have motivated Tim’s counselors?

*What content does a person need to know to be a biblical counselor, pastoral counselor, lay counselor, spiritual friend, soul physician, mentor, discipler, or people helper?

The Rest of the Story

Return tomorrow when we explore how to make one another ministry truly biblical.

How to Care Like Christ

How to Care Like Christ
Introduction: What to Do After the Hug

What do you do after the hug? Or, if you’re a guy, what do you do after the fist bump and the grunt!

Whether you’re a pastor in local church ministry or a lay person sipping coffee with a hurting friend at Starbucks or McDonalds, you know what I’m talking about. We can hug. We can care. We can sense our friend’s pain over ongoing suffering and their frustration over besetting sins. But sometimes we struggle, don’t we, to know what to do next? In fact, knowing what to do after the hug can feel like a maze, like we’re lost without a GPS.

That’s why we want to learn together what to do after the hug. We want to see how the Bible is our GPS: God’s Positioning System! We can learn how to use the Bible accurately, powerfully, and lovingly. We can learn how to speak the truth in love. We can learn how to change lives with Christ's changeless truth. We can learn how to care like Christ.

How do I know that we can? Because the Apostle Paul says so in Romans 15:14. Like him, I am convinced that you are full of goodness (Christlike character), complete in knowledge (biblical content), and competent to counsel (relational competency) one another (Christian community). Through How to Care Like Christ we will grow together in character, content, competency, and community.

In another letter to another group of struggling Christians, Paul provides our framework for people-helping. “I loved you so much that I gave you not only the Scripture but also my own soul because you were dear to me” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). Between saying he loves them and saying they were dear to him, Paul sandwiches Scripture and soul, truth and love. We wrap our purpose around these two themes: Scripture/truth and soul/love.

My Scripture/truth goal is to equip you to become a soul physician who offers your parishioners, your counselees, and your spiritual friends Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation that changes their lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

The world says, “All we need is love.” They downplay any need for absolute truth. They dismiss any thought that we need God-inspired insight for living. And in our day, even the church minimizes truth. I had a church ask me, “Could you just breeze through this truth part and focus almost all your time on the practical how-to part?” As if God’s Word is impractical? We must learn to think like Christ—to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

My soul/love goal is to equip you to become a spiritual friend who cares like Christ as you offer others sustaining empathy, healing encouragement, reconciling enlightenment, and guiding empowerment. Some Christians say, “All you need is truth. Just preach the Word.” But God’s Word says we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We must learn to love like Christ—to care like Christ.

Let the journey begin!

The Best of Books on Theology and Counseling

Kellemen’s Christian The Best Of Guide
The Best of Books on

The Theology of Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation

Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide: Making your life easier by finding, summarizing, evaluating, and posting the best resources on a wide variety of topics from a Christian perspective.

The Twenty Most Influential Books on

The Theology of Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation

Note: The following books focus on a theology/theory of biblical counseling and spiritual formation. They do not highlight methodology/practice. They focus on a broad theory of people, problems, and solutions, they do not highlight specific “issues” in counseling (such as depression, anxiety, etc.).

Note: For the sake of space, I have not reviewed each of these books. However, I do have a 55-page document that reviews over 125 books on Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation: http://bit.ly/sYx1U. That fuller document explains that I do not endorse everything in all the books below. The books below are the ones that you want to be aware because they have shaped the various perspectives on modern biblical/Christian counseling and spiritual formation.

Bibliography

Adams, Jay E. A Theology of Christian Counseling: More Than Redemption. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.

Anderson, Neil T., Terry Zuehlke, and Julianne S. Zuehlke. Christ-Centered Therapy: The Practical Integration of Psychology and Theology. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2000.

Bredfeldt, Gary J. and Harry Shields. Caring for Souls: Counseling Under the Authority of Scripture. Chicago: Moody, 2001.

Clinton, Tim and George Ohlschlager, eds. Competent Christian Counseling, Volume One: Foundations and Practice of Compassionate Soul Care. Colorado Springs: Waterbrook, 2002.

Collins, Gary. Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide. Revised edition. Nashville: Nelson, 1988.

Crabb, Larry. Understanding People. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1987.

Eyrich, Howard A. and William L. Hines. Curing the Heart: A Model for Biblical Counseling. Ross-shire, UK: Christian Focus Publications, 2002.

Fitzpatrick, Elyse. Idols of the Heart: Learning to Long for God Alone. Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2001.

Johnson, Eric. Foundations for Soul Care: A Christian Psychology Proposal. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2007.

Jones, Ian. The Counsel of Heaven on Earth: Foundations for Biblical Christian Counseling. Nashville: B&H, 2006.

Jones, Stanton and Eric Johnson, eds. Psychology and Christianity. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2000.

Kellemen, Robert W. Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Revised Edition. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2007.

Lake, Frank. Clinical Theology. Lexington, KY: Emeth Press, 2006.

Lane, Tim, and Paul Tripp. How People Change. Second Edition. Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2008.

MacArthur, John F., Jr. and Wayne A. Mack. Introduction to Biblical Counseling. Nashville: W Publishing Group, 1994.

McMinn, Mark. Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 1996.

Peterson, Eugene. Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual Theology. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2005.

Powlison, David. Seeing with New Eyes: Counseling and the Human Condition through the Lens of Scripture. Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R, 2003.

Pugh, John. Christian Formational Counseling: The Work of the Spirit in the Human Race. Mustang, OK: Tate Publishing, 2008.

Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change. Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R, 2002.

Important Stuff

*Your Guide: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, is the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries (www.rpmministries.org) through which he writes, speaks, and consults to equip God’s people to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. He blogs daily at http://rpmministries.blogspot.com.

*My Necessary Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t endorse everything in every article, book, or link that you’ll find in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide. I report, you decide.

*Your Suggestions Are Welcomed: Feel free to post comments and/or send emails (rpm.ministries@gmail.com) about resources that you think deserve attention in various categories covered in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide.

Life-Changing Stories for Changing Lives

Life-Changing Stories for Changing Lives

Do you care deeply about hurting and struggling people, but you don’t always know how to care like Christ?

Do you learn best from real-life examples?

Are you convinced that women have much to teach men and women about life and ministry?

Sacred Friendships

Then you want to read Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith.

Sacred Friendships will equip you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

Its riveting, real-life, page-turning stories will captivate your imagination, encourage you in your personal relationship with Christ, and empower you in your ministry to your spiritual friends.

Co-authors Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis share captivating narratives from the lives and ministries of over 50 remarkable women spanning 2,000 years. Their powerful lives empower men and women today—speaking with relevance through timeless truths and practical principles.

A Compelling Work

Julie Clinton, President of Extraordinary Women, shares why she is so excited about Sacred Friendships.

“Dr. Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis, in their compelling work, Sacred Friendships, provide a voice for the voiceless. Like never before, they tell ‘her story,’—the story of our great female forbears in the faith. As they tell it, and as we listen, we do not simply learn historical facts; we are empowered and equipped to practice soul care and spiritual direction today.”

A Superb Presentation

Dr. Timothy George, Dean of Beesen Divinity School and Senior Editor for Christianity Today calls Sacred Friendships a “superb presentation!”

Dr. Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis have done a masterful job bringing together here a wonderful anthology of the stories and voices of Christian women throughout the history of the church. A superb presentation!”

Sample Chapter

To read a free sample chapter, please visit: http://bit.ly/1S1haj and be empowered by the ministries of Margaret Baxter and Susannah Wesley.

Endorsements

To hear why others are so excited about Sacred Friendships and what they are learning from it, please visit: http://bit.ly/6frbF.

Order Your Copy

To order your copy of Sacred Friendships at 40% off for only $12.99 please visit: http://bit.ly/MG1l5.

Church Leaders

Sacred Friendships, with its built-in discussion and application guide, is the ideal book for small groups, Adult Sunday School, Bible studies, and Women’s Groups. If your church or para-church group would like to order ten or more copies at 50% off, please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com for details.

Professors/Educators/Equippers

Sacred Friendships is perfect for classes on Christian biblical counseling, spiritual formation, women’s ministry, women’s studies, multicultural studies, spiritual direction, and church history.

If you would like to use Sacred Friendships as a required book in one of your classes, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com with the name of the class and your address so you can receive a complimentary professor’s copy.

Reviewers

If you write reviews for major publications or major blog sites and you would like to review Sacred Friendships please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com to receive a Review Kit.

Bloggers

We will be launching a Sacred Friendships Blog Tour on blogs across the country to help celebrate the legacy of women heroes of the faith. If you have a blog and would like to join the excitement (and receive a free copy of the book), please email us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com. To learn more about the blog tour, please visit: http://bit.ly/J7Tpt.

Radio and TV Hosts

If you are involved in Christian radio and/or TV, or know of those who are, and you would like to engage your audience about women in ministry, changing lives with Christ’s changeless truth, and spiritual friendship, please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com to receive a detailed Media Kit.

Newspaper Reporters

If you are looking for a compelling story that gives voice to the voiceless, then please contact us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com. We have a news release for you. Additionally, both Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis are available for interviews.

Contact

Bob Kellemen
4920 E. 107th Court
Crown Point, IN 46307
219-662-8138
rpm.ministries@gmail.com

Imparting Healing Hope

Voices of Healing: African American Women of Faith
Part V: Elizabeth Keckley: Imparting Healing Hope

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. For more information on this book, please visit: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Note: For Part I on Elizabeth Keckley, please visit my blog post at: http://bit.ly/FSNIt. For Part II, please visit: bit.ly/ENWjJ. For Part III, please visit: http://bit.ly/gI1H6. For Part IV, please visit: http://bit.ly/x9Axx

Healing Hope

Elizabeth Keckley not only understood how to offer sustaining comfort. She also recognized how to impart healing hope.

“At the grave, at least, we should be permitted to lay our burden down, that a new world, a world of brightness, may open to us. The light that is denied us here should grow into a flood of effulgence beyond the dark, mysterious shadows of death.”

Hope-Giving Spiritual Friendship

The hope-giving spiritual friendship between “Lizzy” Keckley and Mary Lincoln continued for a lifetime. The widowed Mrs. Lincoln needed it desperately. Elizabeth describes Mrs. Lincoln in these post-White House years.

“A few words as regards the disposition and habits of Mrs. Lincoln. She is no longer the sprightly body she was when her very presence illumed the White House with gayety. Now she is sad and sedate, seeking seclusion, and maintaining communication merely with her most intimate personal friends.”

Lizzy, or Lizzie, as Mary affectionately called her in letter after letter, was her most intimate of friends—a friendship continued by letters until Mrs. Lincoln passed away. Unfortunately, history records only the letters written to Elizabeth from Lincoln. But even these provide more than a glimpse into the openness of this sacred friendship, and the trust and safety that that an otherwise mistrusting Mrs. Lincoln felt because of Elizabeth’s care for her soul.

A Broken Heart

Writing on a Sunday morning, October 6, 1867, the still-grieving Mrs. Lincoln opens her heart wide to Lizzy. “My Dear Lizzie: I am writing this morning with a broken heart after a sleepless night of great mental suffering. . . . Pray for me that this cup of affliction may pass from me, or be sanctified to me. I weep whilst I am writing. I pray for death this morning. Only my darling Taddie prevents my taking my life. . . . Your friend, M. L.”[1]

One week later, Mary cries out again for Elizabeth’s friendship. “Oh! That I could see you. Write me, dear Lizzie, if only a line. . . . I am always so anxious to hear from you, I am feeling so friendless in the world. I remain always your affectionate friend. M. L.”

It is obvious that Elizabeth provided sustaining and healing soul care from the preceding lines.

Helping Others to Be Better

It is equally clear that she was Mary Lincoln’s source of reconciling and guiding spiritual direction from the following words. “Write me my dear friend, your candid opinion about everything. I wish to be made better off.”

Lincoln offers a great purpose statement for spiritual direction—helping others to be better off—spiritually, socially, mentally, emotionally.

A Friend Like No Other

The next month, on November 9 and 15, 1867, Mary expresses further appreciation for the depth of connection that she shares with Lizzy. “How hard it is that I cannot see and talk with you in this time of great, great trouble. I feel as if I had not a friend in the world save yourself. I sometimes wish myself out of this world of sorrow and care. . . .”[1]

“Your last letter has been received, and believe me, I duly appreciate your great interest in my affairs. I hope the day may arrive when I can return your kindness in more than words.”

The widow’s sadness is unrelenting. Her need for her best friend’s enduring presence is equally indefatigable. “Chicago, November 24. Why, why was not I taken when my darling husband was called from my side? I have been allowed no rest by those who, in my desolation, should have protected me. How dearly I should love to see you this very sad day.”

The End of the Story: What Is a Soul-Care Giver?

What is a soul care-giver? She is someone like Elizabeth Keckley who can be trusted to provide unremitting rest, protection, and presence in the saddest days of life on fallen planet Earth.

Note: Readers can enjoy the empowering narratives of over two-dozen African American women (and scores of African American men) narrated in Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering. For more information, please visit: http://bit.ly/XvsTu

A Tornado of Sorrow

Voices of Healing: African American Women of Faith
Part IV: Elizabeth Keckley: A Tornado of Sorrow

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. For more information on this book, please visit: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Note: For Part I on Elizabeth Keckley, please visit my blog post at: http://bit.ly/FSNIt. For Part II, please visit: bit.ly/ENWjJ. For Part III, please visit: http://bit.ly/gI1H6

A Tornado of Sorrow

Just a few years after the death of young Willie Lincoln, at 11 o’clock at night, Elizabeth awoke to the news that Mr. Lincoln had been shot. In the confusion of the night, she finally learned that the President was dead. Her first thought was of Mrs. Lincoln.

“I wanted to go to Mrs. Lincoln, as I pictured her wild with grief; but then I did not know where to find her. . .”[1]

Mrs. Lincoln was overcome. Mrs. Secretary Wells asked Mrs. Lincoln who could comfort her. “Is there no one, Mrs. Lincoln, that you desire to have with you in this terrible affliction?”

Mrs. Lincoln responded, “Yes, send for Elizabeth Keckley. I want her just as soon as she can be brought here.”[1]

It’s Normal to Hurt

Bringing her in, Mrs. Wells excused herself and Elizabeth was left alone with Mrs. Lincoln. “She was nearly exhausted with grief, and when she became a little quiet, I asked and received permission to go into the Guests’ Room, where the body of the President lay in state.”[1]

Returning to Mrs. Lincoln’s room, Elizabeth reports, “I found her in a paroxysm of grief. Robert was bending over his mother with tender affection, and little Tad was crouched at the foot of the bed with a world of agony in his young face. I shall never forget the scene—the wails of a broken heart, the unearthly shrieks, the terrible convulsions, the wild, tempestuous outbursts of grief from the soul.”

Shared Sorrow Is Endurable Sorrow

How did Elizabeth respond? “I bathed Mrs. Lincoln’s head with cold water, and soothed the terrible tornado as best I could. Tad’s grief at his father’s death was as great as the grief of his mother, but her terrible outbursts awed the boy into silence.”

In those days, of all people, a formerly enslaved black woman was the one human being on the face of the earth who could comfort the President’s widow. And how? With her empathy. With her silence. With her physical presence. With her loving companionship.

Mrs. Lincoln’s Spiritual Friend

“Every room in the White House was darkened, and every one spoke in subdued tones, and moved about with muffled tread. The very atmosphere breathed of the great sorrow which weighed heavily upon each heart. Mrs. Lincoln never left her room. . . She denied admittance to almost every one, and I was her only companion, except her children, in the days of her great sorrow.”

Mrs. Lincoln’s testimony says it all. “Lizabeth, you are my best and kindest friend, and I love you as my best friend.”

The Rest of the Story

For the rest of the story, please return to this blog for part five . . .

Note: Readers can enjoy the empowering narratives of over two-dozen African American women (and scores of African American men) narrated in Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering. For more information, please visit: http://bit.ly/XvsTu

Sacred Friendships Blog Tour

Sacred Friendships Blog Tour

My co-author (Susan Ellis) and I are organizing a “blog tour” on our new book, Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith.

The Book: Life-Changing Stories for Changing Lives

Do you care deeply about hurting and struggling people, but you don’t always know how to care like Christ? Do you learn best from real-life examples? Are you convinced that women have much to teach men and women about life and ministry?

Sacred Friendships will equip you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. Its riveting, real-life, page-turning stories will captivate your imagination, encourage you in your personal relationship with Christ, and empower you in your ministry to your spiritual friends.

Sacred Friendships is unique. It listens to the voice of the voiceless as it narrates the amazing lives and ministries of over 50 remarkable Christian women from the halls of history. Their powerful lives empower us today—speaking with relevance through timeless truths and practical principles.

Join the Journey: Win/Win/Win

We would like to invite you and your readers to be one of the “stops” on the Sacred Friendships Blog Tour.

We want this to be a win/win/win:

*More people hear about and visit your influential blog. (PLus, you get a copy of Sacred Friendships!)

*More people become aware of the empowering message of Sacred Friendships.

*Your readers are encouraged in their Christian walk.

We will work together to create a blog post that works best for you and your blog readership. There are five basic formats you can choose from, depending upon your time and preference.

1. Your Author Q/A: If you have a standard author Q/A, then we can respond to that and you can post it on your blog on a day we mutually decide upon.

2. Our Author Q/A: If you prefer that we send you our author Q/A about the book, we can do that. Which questions we discuss and which part of the book we address would depend on which day you will post. Or, as another option, you could select which of the Q/A you use. Or, yet another option, you could comment on our Q/A. What we want to avoid is 25 blogs all posting the same Q/A on twenty-five different days!

3. A Podcast: Many bloggers prefer doing a podcast phone interview that they post on their site. If that is your preference, then let’s do it.

4. Your Review of the Entire Book: If you prefer to do a book review of Sacred Friendships that works, too. And we would want you to state honestly what your thoughts are about the book. If you want to do a review and you’d like to start reading soon, then I can send you the galley proofs as an e-document in Word format. By September 14, we’ll have hard copies that we can begin shipping to those who do online reviews. If we agree that you will be doing a review, then we’ll need your mailing address to ship you a copy.

5. Your Review of a Chapter/Section from the Book: If you prefer to select a chapter or two of Sacred Friendships and do a “mini-review”/synopsis, that would be great. We’d just need to know what chapter/sections. Again, we can send galley proofs now, and then send a hard copy after September 14. We’d need your mailing address for this.

The Timing of Our Journey: Forty Days and Forty Nights!

Our blog tour will extend over six weeks (forty days to be exact). We will begin the Sacred Friendships Blog Tour on September 21, and we’ll conclude on October 30. We’re looking for 20 to 30 blogs that are a good “fit,” some doing reviews, some doing their own Q/A, and some posting various sections of our author Q/A.

Information for Our Journey

If you email us at rpm.ministries.org, we can attached a Review Kit to introduce you to the message of Sacred Friendships.

You also can learn much more about Sacred Friendships, including access to a free sample chapter by visiting: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Rewarding Your Readers

Out of the twenty-to-thirty blogs, we will randomly select five readers who commented and send them a complimentary, autographed copy of Sacred Friendships.

Thanks!

Bob

PS: If you know of other bloggers who would be a good fit to “join the journey,” please connect me with them.

Soul Physicians Chapter Four Book Review

Soul Physicians: Chapter Four Review
Our Worthy Groom’s History

Note: This is a guest blog by Pastor Mark Kelly who is working his way through Soul Physicians section by section and blogging along the journey. Thanks Pastor Mark! Visit Mark’s excellent, informative blog at: http://gracedependent.com/. Posted on August 26.

Part 4 of an ongoing study of Dr. Bob Kellemen’s counseling resource: Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction.

Chapter four begins a journey in which Dr. Kellemen introduces the reader to “the Creator of the Soul”. The journey takes us to the core of our thinking when we counsel. It challenges our most foundational thought processes.

Too often the counselor (biblical counselors included…myself included) become “solution-focused” counselors rather than large story counselors.

What does Dr. K mean by that? “All secular models of counseling reduce life to a set of principles and procedures designed to help counselees manage life better without God. All truly Christian models of counseling expand life to God’s eternal perspective, assisting counselees to realize they cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God“ (p.59).

Kellemen proposes, and I agree, that Trinitarian theology presents the solution to our disjointed and deteriorating relationships. It does this by modeling the proper relationships for us. In order for us to totally grasp this, we must move in our counseling, not just to creation and the created purpose, but to what existed before creation. The Trinitarian relationship is what existed before creation existed.

To quote Dr. Bob, “…If we are going to learn spiritual friendship, then let’s look to the ultimate Spiritual Friend and the eternal Spiritual Friendship: the Trinity. The relationship within the Trinity models how we ought to relate. Father, Son and Holy Spirit demonstrate how love lives.”

Before God created…He related.

It begins to make sense then that as we use His word, our “relational manual”, and understand His communication to us on how relationships should exist – that we will then experience: “…engagement, enjoyment, playfulness, faith, hope, and love”. It would naturally follow that we would become “radically other-centered, totally unselfish” – just as He is. We should begin to ask in the midst of every circumstance, relationship and situation: “Where is God in all this?”

Kellemen ends each chapter with “Ministry Implications”, which I thoroughly enjoy because it puts feet to thought. Here are his implications from chapter 4:

*Expand life – Don’t settle for solution-focused counseling; be relationship-focused and character-driven, emphasizing internal and eternal issues

*Enter People – Cast off detailed “professionalism” and wade into people’s lives

*Enjoy People – Lovingly approach your fellow “image bearers” and take delight in them

*Emphasize God – Where is God is all this? Where do you see His sovereign hand? How is He conforming you into the image of His Son through what you are experiencing?

Preview Soul Physicians here: http://bit.ly/7vaE

Guest Blog: Mark Kelly on Soul Physicians, Part 3

Soul Physicians: God’s Passionate Romance Novel (pt.3)

Note: This is a guest blog by Pastor Mark Kelly who is working his way through Soul Physicians section by section and blogging along the journey. Thanks Pastor Mark! Visit Mark’s excellent, informative blog at: http://gracedependent.com/

Posted on August 25, 2009 by gracedependent

This is part three of an ongoing reading / studying of Dr. Robert Kellemen’s counseling resource: Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction

I’ve heard it stated this way before and was interested to see what Dr. Kellemen’s take on it would be: “God’s Word…is His love letter to you.” It is in Scripture that we find, not only that we are part of a Heroic Grand Adventure but, we are smack in the middle of a passionate romance novel. God is love – we know that; but how does that impact me on the morning that I get a pink slip at work, the doctor reveals that the dark spot on the lung indeed is cancerous, or I find myself choosing again to sin in a destructive manner? What are the things that pull at my mind and heart during these times? How can I make sense of it all? Does Scripture speak to any of that…and is God really loving if He allows all this?

Dr. K makes an incredible statement in this chapter: “For the Bible to make a difference in our lives, we need to understand the difference the Bible intends to make. The Bible is God’s love letter designed to melt our adulterous hearts.” When we truly live a life that is impacted by God’s love, we live dying to self and living for God and others. (All part of those “love” commandments that Jesus referred to). And the only way we can do that is through the grace found in Jesus Christ. We constantly make choices of “lovers” in our life: will I love Christ or will I be seduced by Satan?

As we journey through struggles and sins, Satan bombards us with fallacies, such as: “Doubt God/Trust Yourself” which leads to “Doubt God/Hate Yourself” and finally “Doubt God/Beautify Yourself”. These are expounded in this chapter – a must read.

Christ battles these fallacies and provides the ultimate “antidote” to these wrong ways of thinking through faith and hope. Faith destroys mistrust and Hope vanquishes condemnation.

It is through the pages of Scripture that we see the hope for ourselves and others as we “…understand that justification is [our] current standing before the Father, that sanctification is [our] ongoing promise by the Spirit, and that glorification is [our] future guarantee in Christ.

In the upcoming chapters (4-7) we’ll see how Dr. K describes “Knowing the Creator of the Soul: The Great Physician – the Trinity”. If you have not yet picked up a copy of Soul Physicians, please visit RPM Ministries today.

Preview here: http://bit.ly/7vaE

Great Hearts Sorrowing

Voices of Healing:

African American Women of Faith
Part III: Elizabeth Keckley:

Great Hearts Sorrowing

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. For more information on this book, please visit: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Note: For Part I on Elizabeth Keckley, please visit my blog post at: http://bit.ly/FSNIt. For Part II, please visit: bit.ly/ENWjJ.

Great Hearts Sorrowing: Permission to Grieve

Through a series of sovereign appointments, Elizabeth finds herself in the role of dressmaker for the President’s wife. More than that, she finds herself in the relationship of sacred friend to the President’s wife—Mary Todd Lincoln.

Over time, the emotional, turbulent Mary Lincoln came to love and even need “Lizabeth,” as she called her. The need exploded when Mrs. Lincoln’s son, Willie, became ill. “He was very sick,” Elizabeth reports, “and I was summoned to his bedside. It was sad to see the poor boy suffer. Always of a delicate constitution, he could not resist the strong inroads of disease.”

According to Elizabeth, “He was his mother’s favorite child, and she doted on him. It grieved her heart sorely to see him suffer.”

Willie worsened, lingering a few days, and then died. “God called the beautiful spirit home, and the house of joy was turned into the house of mourning.”

Elizabeth was there when President Lincoln arrived. “I never saw a man so bowed down with grief. He came to the bed, lifted the cover from the face of his child, gazed at it long and earnestly, murmuring, ‘My poor boy, he was too good for this earth. God has called him home. I know that he is much better off in heaven, but then we loved him so. It is hard, hard to have him die!’”

The scene continues.

“Great sobs choked his utterance. He buried his head in his hands, and his tall frame was convulsed with emotion. I stood at the foot of the bed, my eyes full of tears, looking at the man in silent, awe-stricken wonder. His grief unnerved him, and made him a weak, passive child. I did not dream that his rugged nature could be so moved. I shall never forget those solemn moments—genius and greatness weeping over love’s idol lost. There is a grandeur as well as a simplicity about the picture that will never fade.”

Mrs. Lincoln’s grief was inconsolable.

“The pale face of her dead boy threw her into convulsions. Around him love’s tendrils had been twined, and now that he was dressed for the tomb, it was like tearing the tendrils out of the heart by their roots. Willie, she often said, if spared by Providence, would be the hope and stay of her old age. But Providence had not spared him. The light faded from his eyes, and the death-dew had gathered on his brow.” Mrs. Lincoln was so completely overwhelmed with sorrow that she did not attend her son’s funeral.

Elizabeth could empathize with a grieving mother’s broken heart.

“Previous to this I had lost my son. Leaving Wilberforce, he went to the battle-field with the three months troops, and was killed in Missouri—found his grave on the battlefield where the gallant General Lyon fell. It was a sad blow to me, and the kind womanly letter that Mrs. Lincoln wrote to me when she heard of my bereavement was full of golden words of comfort.”

Clearly, all were given permission to grieve. Speaking of President Lincoln and all the President’s men, Elizabeth describes the funeral scene.

“And there sat the man, with a burden on his brain at which the world marvels—bent now with the load at both heart and brain—staggering under a blow like the taking from him of his child! His men of power sat around him—McClellan, with a moist eye when he bowed to the prayer, as I could see from where I stood; and Chase and Seward, with their austere features at work; and senators, and ambassadors, and soldiers, all struggling with their tears—great hearts sorrowing with the President as a stricken man and a brother.”

The permission to grieve extended over time, as it should. “For two years after Willie’s death the White House was the scene of no fashionable display. The memory of the dead boy was duly respected. In some things Mrs. Lincoln was an altered woman.”

From Elizabeth’s perspective, President Lincoln grieved as one who had found Christian hope.

“Mr. Lincoln was reading that divine comforter, Job. He read with Christian eagerness, and the courage and hope that he derived from the inspired pages made him a new man.”

Here Elizabeth records a profound Presidential example of scriptural exploration bringing hope to the hurting. In her words, “What a sublime picture was this! A ruler of a mighty nation going to the pages of the Bible with simple Christian earnestness for comfort and courage, and finding both in the darkest hours of a nation’s calamity. Ponder it, O ye scoffers at God’s Holy Word, and then hang your heads for very shame!”

The Rest of the Story

For the rest of the story, please return to this blog for part four . . .

Note: Readers can enjoy the empowering narratives of over two-dozen African American women (and scores of African American men) narrated in Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering. For more information, please visit: http://bit.ly/XvsTu

Elizabeth Keckley: Part II

Voices of Healing:

African American Women of Faith

Part II: Elizabeth Keckley:

All Silver in Heaven

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. For more information on this stirring book, please visit: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Note: For Part I on Elizabeth Keckley, please visit my blog post at: http://bit.ly/FSNIt

All Silver in Heaven: Acquainted with Grief

Like her Savior, Elizabeth Keckley was a person of sorrow acquainted with grief, and thus able to bring sustaining and healing spiritual care to Mrs. Lincoln. Though enslaved, her first few years were at least spent in the love of her intact family. However, soon her father was sold to another slaver and the golden dream faded all too soon.

As Elizabeth poignantly recalls it:

“The announcement fell upon the little circle in that rude log cabin like a thunderbolt. I can remember the scene as if it were but yesterday;—how my father cried out against the cruel separation; his last kiss; his wild straining of my mother to his bosom; the solemn prayer to Heaven; the tears and sobs—the fearful anguish of broken hearts. The last kiss, the last goodbye; and he, my father, was gone, gone forever."

Elizabeth’s earthly despair was all-encompasing; her longing for heaven all-embracing.

“The shadow eclipsed the sunshine, and love brought despair. The parting was eternal. The cloud had no silver lining, but I trust that it will be all silver in heaven.”

As was typically the case in slavery, Elizabeth’s family was not given permission to grieve or the opportunity to hope.

“Deep as was the distress of my mother in parting with my father, her sorrow did not screen her from insult. My old mistress said to her: ‘Stop your nonsense; there is no necessity for you putting on airs. Your husband is not the only slave that has been sold from his family, and you are not the only one that has had to part.”

To these unfeeling words, Elizabeth’s mother made no reply. “She turned away in stoical silence, with a curl of that loathing scorn upon her lips which swelled in her heart. My father and my mother never met again in this world.”

When she was fourteen, Elizabeth went to live with her master’s oldest son, a Presbyterian minister, married to “a helpless wife, a girl that he had married in the humble walks of life. She was morbidly sensitive. . .” At eighteen, a Mr. Bingham, a village schoolmaster and member of her master’s church, said he would whip her naked. She refused. He subdued her. Tied her. Stripped her dress. Whipped her.

“I could not sleep, for I was suffering mental as well as bodily torture. My spirit rebelled against the unjustness that had been inflicted upon me, and though I tried to smother my anger and to forgive those who had been so cruel to me, it was impossible.”

He again tried to conquer her, striking her with savage blows. “As I stood bleeding before him, nearly exhausted with his efforts, he burst into tears, and declared that it would be a sin to beat me any more. My suffering at last subdued his hard heart; he asked my forgiveness, and afterwards was an altered man.”

In her future ministry in the White House, Elizabeth would need her indomitable spirit in the face of unspeakable suffering.

The Rest of the Story

For the rest of the story, please return to this blog for part three . . .

Note: Readers can enjoy the empowering narratives of over two-dozen African American women (and scores of African American men) narrated in Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering. For more information, please visit: http://bit.ly/XvsTu

The Best of Books on Women in Church History

Kellemen’s Christian The Best Of Guide
The Best of Books on Women in Church History

*Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide: Making your life easier by finding, summarizing, evaluating, and posting the best resources on a wide variety of topics from a Christian perspective.

Giving Voice to the Voiceless!

When we think of church history, unfortunately, it is often “the history of a bunch of dead white guys!” We talk about the “church fathers,” but we omit the “church mothers”—many of whom discipled the church fathers! It is well past time to give “voice to the voiceless.”

Having studied the legacy of women heroes of the faith in my book, Sacred Friendships (http://bit.ly/YmaM1), I’ve collated a lengthy bibliography of relevant books. But what I’m posting below is just the tip of the iceberg—the best of the best. If you want to hear the voices of godly Christian women, the following books give the big picture. They survey either all of church history, or large segments of church history. Enjoy!

The Best of Books on Women in Church History

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation in France and England. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1973.

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation in Germany and Italy. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1971.

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation from Spain to Scandinavia. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1977.

Chittister, Joan. The Friendship of Women: A Spiritual Tradition. Franklin, WI: Sheed and Ward, 2000.

Clark, Elizabeth. Women in the Early Church. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1990.

Clark, Elizabeth, and Herbert Richardson, eds. Women and Religion: The Original Sourcebook of Women in Christian Thought. Revised and expanded edition. San Francisco: Harper, 1996.

Forbes, Cheryl. Women of Devotion through the Centuries. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2001.

Grant, Myrna. Sacred Legacy: Ancient Writings from Nine Women of Strength and Honor. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2003.

Gryson, Roger. The Ministry of Women in the Early Church. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1976.

Kellemen, Robert, and Karole Edwards. Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007.

Kellemen, Robert, and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2009.

Kraemer, Ross, ed. Maenads, Martyrs, Matrons, Monastics: A Sourcebook on Women’s Religions in the Greco-Roman World. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1988.

MacHaffie, Barbara. Her Story: Women in Christian Tradition. Second edition. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 2006.

Oden, Amy, ed. In Her Words: Women’s Writings in the History of Christian Thought. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1994.

Peterson, William. 25 Surprising Marriages: Faith-Building Stories from the Lives of Famous Christians. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1997.

Ranft, Patricia. A Woman’s Way: The Forgotten History of Women Spiritual Directors. New York: Palgrave, 2000.

Sawyer, Deborah. Women and Religion in the First Christian Centuries. London: Routledge, 1996.

Stewart, Dorothy, ed. Women of Prayer: An Anthology of Everyday Prayers from Women around the World. Chicago: Loyola Press, 1999.

Swan, Laura. The Forgotten Desert Mothers: Sayings, Lives, and Stories of Early Christian Women. New York: Paulist Press, 2001.

Thiebauz, Marcelle. The Writings of Medieval Women: An Anthology. Second edition. New York: Garland Publishing, 1994.

Tucker, Ruth. Private Lives of Pastor’s Wives. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1988.

Tucker, Ruth, and Walter Liefeld. Daughters of the Church: Women and Ministry from New Testament Times to the Present. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1987.

Wilson, Katherine, ed. Medieval Women Writers. Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1984.

Wilson, Katherine, ed. Women Writers of the Renaissance and Reformation. Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1987.

Wilson-Kastner, Patricia, Ronald Kastner, Ann Millin, Rosemary Rader, and Jeremiah Reedy, eds. A Lost Tradition: Women Writers of the Early Church. Washington, DC: University Press of America, 1981.

Important Stuff

*Your Guide: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, is the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmministries.org/) through which he writes, speaks, and consults to equip God’s people to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. He blogs daily at http://rpmministries.blogspot.com/.

*My Necessary Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t endorse everything in every article, book, or link that you’ll find in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide. I report, you decide.

*Your Suggestions Are Welcomed: Feel free to post comments and/or send emails (rpm.ministries@gmail.com) about resources that you think deserve attention in various categories covered in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide.

African American Women of Faith

Voices of Healing:

African American Women of Faith

Part I: Elizabeth Keckley:

A Voice of Hope

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. For more information on this stirring book, please visit: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

African American Sisters of the Spirit

African American sisters of the spirit like Elizabeth Keckley, who ministered to the grieving Mrs. Lincoln, and Octavia Albert, who ministered to the soul-wounds of ex-enslaved African Americans, vividly demonstrate how to move beyond suffering to healing hope. Their courageous, hope-based spiritual care is a small sampler, an appetizer, if you will, of a great breadth of wisdom for soul care and spiritual direction contained in the history of women in the African American Church.

While space allows just this sampler, history is filled with powerful and empowering examples of African American feminine sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding.[i] Though some have tried to silence their voices, their speaking of God’s truth in love with hope can still be heard by those with ears to hear and hearts to learn.

Elizabeth Keckley: A Voice of Hope

Picture the scene. It’s Civil War America. Women have no right to vote. Across the South, blacks have no rights whatsoever. President Lincoln is assassinated. His widow, Mary Lincoln, is devastated. To whom does she turn?

To a black woman. To Elizabeth Keckley.

In the story of her life Behind the Scenes, or Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the White House, Elizabeth (1818-1907) explains, “. . . I have been intimately associated with that lady [Mrs. Lincoln] in the most eventful periods of her life. I have been her confidante . . . I have written with the utmost frankness in regard to her—have exposed her faults as well as given her credit for honest motives.”[ii]

Given the inauspicious beginnings of Elizabeth’s life story, her spiritual friendship with Mary Lincoln is staggering. “My life has been an eventful one. I was born a slave—was the child of slave parents—therefore I came upon the earth free in God-like thought, but fettered in action.”[iii]

How did a black woman of that cultural era become confidante to the slain President’s wife? Elizabeth expresses her understanding with Christian humility. “God rules the universe. I was a feeble instrument in His hands. . .”[iv]

The Rest of the Story

For the rest of the story, please return to this blog for part two . . .

[i]Readers can enjoy the empowering narratives of over two-dozen African American women (and scores of African American men) narrated in Kellemen and Edwards, Beyond the Suffering. For more information, please visit: http://bit.ly/XvsTu

[ii]Keckley, Behind the Scenes, xiv, xv.

[iii]Ibid., 17.

[iv]Ibid., xii.

Mark Kelly Reviews Soul Physicians

Mark Kelly Reviews Soul Physicians: Chapter One

Mark Kelly blogs at Grace Dependent at: http://gracedependent.com/

He has started a series of post going through each chapter of Soul Physicians.

You can find his first post here: http://bit.ly/rqA3a which I have copied below.

Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction (pt.1)
Posted on August 20, 2009 by gracedependent

I received recently a wonderful package that I would encourage any pastor, counselor or lay leader to invest in.

Dr. Robert Kellemen has four books that I think will be key in anyone’s counseling ministry: Soul Physicians, Spiritual Friends, Beyond the Suffering and Sacred Friendships.

I am just now reading Soul Physicians and would like to blog my notes or items of interest from each chapter. Below you will find points of interest from chapter 1. (they may appear quite random apart from the context in which they are found)

Chapter One: The Soul Physician’s Desk Reference Manual:

*God’s Word is the “Soul Physician’s Desk Reference Manual”. We use it to “nourish hungry souls”. In it God tells His story, describing life as a war and a wedding:

*Life is a war in that God has called us to die daily.

*Life is a wedding in that Christ has called us to love intimately.

*As “soul physicians”, we must master 3 “core counselor competencies” in using the Bible:

*Trialogues – the counselor, counselee and the Holy Spirit interact via God’s Word

*Spiritual Conversations – the counselor and counselee explore how biblical principles relate to daily life

*Scriptural Explorations – the counselor and counselee explore the relevance and application of specific passages

*The quote below impacted me in a great way:

“At times we mistakenly counsel Christians as if they were non-Christians. We view our clients or parishoners only through the lens of depravity. This is like a heart surgeon transplanting a perfectly healthy heart into her patient, but then treating the patient as if he still has the old heart in his chest. We are new creations with a new nature: regeneration and redemption. God has implanted a new heart into the core of our being with new power to live godly lives. We have a new nuture: reconciliation and justification. Christ provides a new relationship of complete acceptance with God and freedom from condemnation. We are cleansed and forgiven.” (p.21)

*Every non-biological problem is a grace-deficiency problem.

Interesting thought there!

*Soul Care: The evils we have suffered

Sustaining: “It’s normal to hurt”
Healing: “It’s possible to hope”

*Spiritual Direction: The sins we have committed

Reconciling: “It’s horrible to sin, but wonderful to be forgiven”
Guiding: “It’s supernatural to Mature”

*Load the conscience with guilt and lighten the conscience with grace.

Something to remember when counseling – especially self-counsel.

There were a great number of things to take note of while reading just this first chapter. I urge Biblical Counselors everywhere to invest in these resources.