What Men Can Learn from Godly Women

Getting to Know Susan Ellis, Part Five
What Men and Women Can Learn from Godly Women

Susan Ellis and I co-authored Sacred Friendships. Readers of my blog know all about me. But what about Susan? I'd like to introduce you to Susan through several blogs interspersed over the next week or so.

For part one, please visit: http://bit.ly/2o33WZ. For part two, please visit: http://bit.ly/26MojZ. For part three, please visit: http://bit.ly/1fAmFc. For part four, please visit: http://bit.ly/13Swk6.

*In summary, what can men learn from the women in Sacred Friendships?

I think one of the biggest lessons of the book is for both men and women. It’s so simple and yet we overlook it or try to complicate it. Get to know God and stay intimately connected to Him. Think about any meaningful relationship you have. You know that person’s likes and dislikes, habits, family history, personal history. You have shared memories. That’s what God wants from us and that’s what’s necessary if we’re to have an impact in this world.

As for men in particular, assuming there’s any validity at all to the stereotype that men, in general, tend to be more direct and not as compassionate or nurturing as women, my hope is that they would recognize there is a place and a need for compassion. I would also hope that men would incorporate compassion into their interactions and not leave it solely to the women. And lastly, I hope men would take to heart the idea that ministry is relationship. We can feed, clothe, and house people; we can give them the facts of the gospel, but if we don’t live in community and minister in community, we’ve missed the point of the gospel.

*In summary, what can women learn from the women in Sacred Friendships?

I’ve encountered a lot of women who struggle with perfectionism, hyper-responsibility, and the disease of “shoulds and ought tos.” On top of that, women often compare themselves to other women. I hope the women in Sacred Friendships will inspire our female readers to provide soul care and spiritual direction out of who they already are, not who they think they ought to be. My prayer is that women will embrace their unique skills, talents, personality, and even their quirks and failings; that they will utilize their spiritual giftedness wherever they are instead of lamenting the season of life they’re in or waiting for the next thing.

Laura Haviland had a house full of kids, knew grief like most of us will never know, was left a widow with a large debt, and she still managed to keep her eyes on Jesus and do great things for the Lord.

Betsy and Corrie ten Boom, Amelia Sieveking, and Catharine Brown were never married, but they didn’t let their desires for marriage and children paralyze them. Instead, they embraced life and lived it to the fullest.

Elisabeth Leseur lived a painfully quiet life, married to an unbeliever who often mocked her faith, but she ministered to countless women and her love for her Lord and her husband resulted in her husband’s conversion and dedication to ministry after her death.

The list goes on. The point is, God loves us and will empower us to have impact, if we will surrender to Him. I know it’s often easier said than done, and I hope that the Sacred Friendship women will inspire, encourage, and even convict us and compel us to know and love the Lord and people more deeply.

*Where can people learn more about you and about Sacred Friendships?

You can visit my website at http://www.eternalcommunity.org/ to learn more about me, read my blog, download free resources, read a sample chapter of Sacred Friendships, and purchase a copy of the book.

A Vast Storehouse of Wisdom

A Vast Storehouse of Wisdom

Dr. Ian Jones, professor of biblical counseling at Southwestern Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX joins the Sacred Friendships Blog Tour today.

You can find his full post over at the Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Network blog site at: http://bit.ly/no8V

Here's a small taste of Dr. Jones' review.

"Kellemen and Ellis uncover a vast storehouse of wisdom, spiritual counsel, and practical direction in the lives of these women. In so doing, they provide a refreshing antidote to an empty feminism void of biblical content and to an equally unbiblical blind dismissal of the value of women. The stories, drawn from five continents and covering nearly two millennia, offer practical wisdom, biblical insight, and inspiration for current approaches to counseling and soul care."

To learn more about Sacred Friendships and to order your copy at 40% off, please visit: http://bit.ly/MG1l5

Sacred Friendships Blog Tour

Sacred Friendships Blog Tour

My co-author (Susan Ellis) and I are organizing a “blog tour” on our new book, Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith.

The Book: Life-Changing Stories for Changing Lives

Do you care deeply about hurting and struggling people, but you don’t always know how to care like Christ? Do you learn best from real-life examples? Are you convinced that women have much to teach men and women about life and ministry?

Sacred Friendships will equip you to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. Its riveting, real-life, page-turning stories will captivate your imagination, encourage you in your personal relationship with Christ, and empower you in your ministry to your spiritual friends.

Sacred Friendships is unique. It listens to the voice of the voiceless as it narrates the amazing lives and ministries of over 50 remarkable Christian women from the halls of history. Their powerful lives empower us today—speaking with relevance through timeless truths and practical principles.

Join the Journey: Win/Win/Win

We would like to invite you and your readers to be one of the “stops” on the Sacred Friendships Blog Tour.

We want this to be a win/win/win:

*More people hear about and visit your influential blog. (PLus, you get a copy of Sacred Friendships!)

*More people become aware of the empowering message of Sacred Friendships.

*Your readers are encouraged in their Christian walk.

We will work together to create a blog post that works best for you and your blog readership. There are five basic formats you can choose from, depending upon your time and preference.

1. Your Author Q/A: If you have a standard author Q/A, then we can respond to that and you can post it on your blog on a day we mutually decide upon.

2. Our Author Q/A: If you prefer that we send you our author Q/A about the book, we can do that. Which questions we discuss and which part of the book we address would depend on which day you will post. Or, as another option, you could select which of the Q/A you use. Or, yet another option, you could comment on our Q/A. What we want to avoid is 25 blogs all posting the same Q/A on twenty-five different days!

3. A Podcast: Many bloggers prefer doing a podcast phone interview that they post on their site. If that is your preference, then let’s do it.

4. Your Review of the Entire Book: If you prefer to do a book review of Sacred Friendships that works, too. And we would want you to state honestly what your thoughts are about the book. If you want to do a review and you’d like to start reading soon, then I can send you the galley proofs as an e-document in Word format. By September 14, we’ll have hard copies that we can begin shipping to those who do online reviews. If we agree that you will be doing a review, then we’ll need your mailing address to ship you a copy.

5. Your Review of a Chapter/Section from the Book: If you prefer to select a chapter or two of Sacred Friendships and do a “mini-review”/synopsis, that would be great. We’d just need to know what chapter/sections. Again, we can send galley proofs now, and then send a hard copy after September 14. We’d need your mailing address for this.

The Timing of Our Journey: Forty Days and Forty Nights!

Our blog tour will extend over six weeks (forty days to be exact). We will begin the Sacred Friendships Blog Tour on September 21, and we’ll conclude on October 30. We’re looking for 20 to 30 blogs that are a good “fit,” some doing reviews, some doing their own Q/A, and some posting various sections of our author Q/A.

Information for Our Journey

If you email us at rpm.ministries.org, we can attached a Review Kit to introduce you to the message of Sacred Friendships.

You also can learn much more about Sacred Friendships, including access to a free sample chapter by visiting: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Rewarding Your Readers

Out of the twenty-to-thirty blogs, we will randomly select five readers who commented and send them a complimentary, autographed copy of Sacred Friendships.

Thanks!

Bob

PS: If you know of other bloggers who would be a good fit to “join the journey,” please connect me with them.

The Best of Books on Women in Church History

Kellemen’s Christian The Best Of Guide
The Best of Books on Women in Church History

*Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide: Making your life easier by finding, summarizing, evaluating, and posting the best resources on a wide variety of topics from a Christian perspective.

Giving Voice to the Voiceless!

When we think of church history, unfortunately, it is often “the history of a bunch of dead white guys!” We talk about the “church fathers,” but we omit the “church mothers”—many of whom discipled the church fathers! It is well past time to give “voice to the voiceless.”

Having studied the legacy of women heroes of the faith in my book, Sacred Friendships (http://bit.ly/YmaM1), I’ve collated a lengthy bibliography of relevant books. But what I’m posting below is just the tip of the iceberg—the best of the best. If you want to hear the voices of godly Christian women, the following books give the big picture. They survey either all of church history, or large segments of church history. Enjoy!

The Best of Books on Women in Church History

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation in France and England. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1973.

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation in Germany and Italy. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1971.

Bainton, Roland. Women of the Reformation from Spain to Scandinavia. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1977.

Chittister, Joan. The Friendship of Women: A Spiritual Tradition. Franklin, WI: Sheed and Ward, 2000.

Clark, Elizabeth. Women in the Early Church. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1990.

Clark, Elizabeth, and Herbert Richardson, eds. Women and Religion: The Original Sourcebook of Women in Christian Thought. Revised and expanded edition. San Francisco: Harper, 1996.

Forbes, Cheryl. Women of Devotion through the Centuries. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2001.

Grant, Myrna. Sacred Legacy: Ancient Writings from Nine Women of Strength and Honor. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2003.

Gryson, Roger. The Ministry of Women in the Early Church. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1976.

Kellemen, Robert, and Karole Edwards. Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2007.

Kellemen, Robert, and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. Winona Lake, IN: BMH Books, 2009.

Kraemer, Ross, ed. Maenads, Martyrs, Matrons, Monastics: A Sourcebook on Women’s Religions in the Greco-Roman World. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1988.

MacHaffie, Barbara. Her Story: Women in Christian Tradition. Second edition. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 2006.

Oden, Amy, ed. In Her Words: Women’s Writings in the History of Christian Thought. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1994.

Peterson, William. 25 Surprising Marriages: Faith-Building Stories from the Lives of Famous Christians. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1997.

Ranft, Patricia. A Woman’s Way: The Forgotten History of Women Spiritual Directors. New York: Palgrave, 2000.

Sawyer, Deborah. Women and Religion in the First Christian Centuries. London: Routledge, 1996.

Stewart, Dorothy, ed. Women of Prayer: An Anthology of Everyday Prayers from Women around the World. Chicago: Loyola Press, 1999.

Swan, Laura. The Forgotten Desert Mothers: Sayings, Lives, and Stories of Early Christian Women. New York: Paulist Press, 2001.

Thiebauz, Marcelle. The Writings of Medieval Women: An Anthology. Second edition. New York: Garland Publishing, 1994.

Tucker, Ruth. Private Lives of Pastor’s Wives. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1988.

Tucker, Ruth, and Walter Liefeld. Daughters of the Church: Women and Ministry from New Testament Times to the Present. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1987.

Wilson, Katherine, ed. Medieval Women Writers. Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1984.

Wilson, Katherine, ed. Women Writers of the Renaissance and Reformation. Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 1987.

Wilson-Kastner, Patricia, Ronald Kastner, Ann Millin, Rosemary Rader, and Jeremiah Reedy, eds. A Lost Tradition: Women Writers of the Early Church. Washington, DC: University Press of America, 1981.

Important Stuff

*Your Guide: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC, is the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries (http://www.rpmministries.org/) through which he writes, speaks, and consults to equip God’s people to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth. He blogs daily at http://rpmministries.blogspot.com/.

*My Necessary Disclaimer: Of course, I don’t endorse everything in every article, book, or link that you’ll find in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide. I report, you decide.

*Your Suggestions Are Welcomed: Feel free to post comments and/or send emails (rpm.ministries@gmail.com) about resources that you think deserve attention in various categories covered in Kellemen’s Christian The Best of Guide.

From Victim to Victor: Vibia Perpetua, Part I

From Victim to Victor: Vibia Perpetua, Part I

Note: Taken from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

Giving Voice to the Voiceless

When we think of the early church, our minds focus on the Church Fathers. Sadly, we normally fail even to consider the Church Mothers. Yet, these godly women heroically waged spiritual warfare against the world, the flesh, and the devil. Their loses and their victories, their pain and their joy, their walk with Christ and their journey with one another are all an inheritance from which each of us are eligible to draw. There is a mighty company of gallant women believers from whom we can learn.

Vibia Perpetua (181-203) heads that company. The early Church preserved her manuscript, The Martyrdom of Perpetua, as a martyr’s relic because it is one of the oldest and most descriptive accounts of death for Christ. It is also the earliest known document written by a Christian woman.

Anyone who has ever suffered for the faith or has been oppressed by the powerful can carry on a conversation and feel a bond with Perpetua. In fact, in the introduction to her story, we read that it was “written expressly for God’s honor and humans’ encouragement” to testify to the grace of God and to edify God’s grace-bought people.[i]

Of course, even reading the word “martyr” likely causes us to imagine that Perpetua was a spiritual “super woman” whose life and ministry we could not possibly emulate. The story of her life, however, demonstrates just the opposite.

The Story of Her Life

Perpetua lived in Carthage in North Africa during the persecution of Christians under Septimius Severus. At the time of her arrest in 202 AD, she was a twenty-one-year-old mother of an infant son. Born into a wealthy, prominent, but unbelieving family, she was a recent convert with a father who continually attempted to weaken her faith and a husband who was, for reasons unknown to us, out of the picture. Nothing in Perpetua’s situation or background prepared her for the titanic spiritual struggle God called her to face.

Perpetua, her brother, her servant (Felicitas), and two other new converts were discipled by Saturus. We learn from Perpetua of the arrest of all these faithful followers of Christ. “At this time we were baptized and the Spirit instructed me not to request anything from the baptismal waters except endurance of physical suffering. A few days later we were imprisoned.”[ii]

A Light in the Darkness: Experiencing the Pain of Others

Perpetua candidly faces her fears and expresses her internal and external suffering. “I was terrified because never before had I experienced such darkness. What a terrible day! Because of crowded conditions and rough treatment by the soldiers the heat was unbearable. My condition was aggravated by my anxiety for my baby.”[iii]

This very human woman exudes superhuman strength. In the midst of her agony, she empathizes with and consoles others. Her father, completely exhausted from his anxiety, came from the city to beg Perpetua to recant and offer sacrifice to the emperor. “I was very upset because of my father’s condition. He was the only member of my family who would find no reason for joy in my suffering. I tried to comfort him saying, ‘Whatever God wants at this tribunal will happen, for remember that our power comes not from ourselves but from God.’ But utterly dejected, my father left me.”[iv]

Note: Read Part II of Perpetua’s life in tomorrow’s blog post. Read her whole life story and the story of over fifty additional amazing women in Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith: http://bit.ly/YmaM1

[i]“The Martyrdom of Perpetua,” in Wilson-Kastner, A Lost Tradition, 19.
[ii]Ibid., 20.
[iii]Ibid.
[iv]Ibid., 22.

Have You Heard about Sacred Friendships?

Have You Heard about Sacred Friendships?

Co-authors Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis are excited to announce that pre-orders are now available for their book Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith. Sacred Friendships shares captivating narratives from the lives and ministries of over 50 women spanning 2,000 years. These heroes of the faith teach men and women about life and ministry today.

Compelling Work

Julie Clinton, President of Extraordinary Women, shares why she is excited about Sacred Friendships.

“Dr. Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis, in their compelling work, Sacred Friendships, provide a voice for the voiceless. Like never before, they tell ‘her story’—the story of our great female forbears in the faith. As they tell it, and as we listen, we do not simply learn historical facts; we are empowered and equipped to practice soul care and spiritual direction today.”

Superb Presentation

Dr. Timothy George, Dean of Beesen Divinity School and Senior Editor for Christianity Today calls it a “superb presentation!”

“Dr. Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis have done a masterful job bringing together here a wonderful anthology of the stories and voices of Christian women throughout the history of the church. A superb presentation!”

Sample Chapter

To read a free sample chapter go here: http://tinyurl.com/l34rag and be empowered by the ministries of Margaret Baxter and Susannah Wesley.

Endorsements

To hear how excited others are about what they are learning from Sacred Friendships go here: http://tinyurl.com/mmjf3w.

Pre-Order

To pre-order your copy of Sacred Friendships at 40% off for only $12.99 go here: http://tinyurl.com/lf6rjp.

Professors

Sacred Friendships, with its built-in discussion and application guide, is ideal for classes on Christian biblical counseling, spiritual formation, women's ministry, and church history.If you would like to use Sacred Friendships as a required book in one of your classes, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com with the name of the class and your address so you can receive a complimentary professor's copy.

Church Leaders

Sacred Friendships is the ideal book for small groups, Adult Sunday school, and Bible studies. If your church or para-church group would like to order ten or more copies at 50% off, please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com for details.

Reviewers

If you write reviews for major publications or major blog sites and you would like to review Sacred Friendships please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com to receive a complete Review Kit.

Bloggers

Kellemen and Ellis will be launching a "Blog Tour" soon, interacting on blogs across the country as they celebrate the legacy of women heroes of the faith. If you have a regular blog and would like to join the excitement, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com.

Radio Interviewers

If you are involved in radio, or know those who are, and would like to engage your audience about women in ministry, please email rpm.ministries@gmail.com to receive a detailed Media Kit.

Sacred Friendships Now Ready for Pre-Order

What Can Men Learn from Women about Ministry?

It's a simple question, isn't it? What can men learn from women about ministry? Yet, that one question can create tremendous controversy, especially in Evangelical circles.

It shouldn't. For 2,000 years of church history men and women have been learning from each other.

Sacred Friendships

For example, in Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith, Susan Ellis and I document how the Church Fathers were mentored by their mothers, grandmothers, and older sisters. Our new book, which is now available for pre-order, shares captivating narratives of over 50 women spanning 2,000 years who have so much to teach men and women about life and ministry today.

Sample Chapter

For more examples, go here http://tinyurl.com/l34rag to read a sample chapter of Sacred Friendships showing the empowering ministries of Margaret Baxter and Susannah Wesley.

Endorsements

To hear how excited others are about what they are learning from Sacred Friendships go here: http://tinyurl.com/mmjf3w.

Pre-Order

I'd like to invite you to join the journey and to learn life and ministry lessons from these amazing women. Go here http://tinyurl.com/lf6rjp to pre-order your copy of Sacred Friendships at 40% off for only $12.99.

Professors

Sacred Friendships, with its built-in discussion and application guide, is ideal for classes on Christian biblical counseling, spiritual formation, women's ministry, and church history.

If you would like to use Sacred Friendships as a required book in one of your classes, email us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com with the name of the class, and we will send you a complimentary professor's copy.

Reviewers

If you write reviews for major publications or major blog sites, and you would like to review Sacred Friendships please email us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com. We'll send you a complete "Review Kit."

Bloggers

We will be launching a "Blog Tour" soon, interacting on blogs across the country as we celebrate the legacy of women heroes of the faith. If you have a regular blog and would like to join the excitement, email us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com.

Radio Interviewers

If you are involved in radio, or know those who are, and would like to engage your audience about women in ministry, please email us at rpm.ministries@gmail.com. We have a detailed "Media Kit" we would like to send you.

A Must Read for Women and Men

Endorsements for Sacred Friendships
Part Three

Pre-Order: The following contains endorsements from Christian leaders for Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships will be released by BMH Books in late summer 2009. To pre-order at 40% off go here: http://tinyurl.com/lf6rjp

Though silent these many years, even centuries, the remarkable compilation in Sacred Friendships allows these world-influencing women to speak to us even today. We all will be wise to heed their many voices. These women’s influence and spiritual vitality throughout history—captured and arranged so thoughtfully in Sacred Friendships—will both inspire your personal devotion and spark your imagination.
—Mindy Caligure, Founder and President of Soul Care; Author of Faith Books and Spiritual Journaling

“Dr. Robert W. Kellemen and Susan M. Ellis have sketched clearly and powerfully the portraits of the forgotten history and vision of women. Their echo of sacred friendship in the lives of women is irresistible. A ‘must read’ for every women soul care-giver and spiritual director, and for all men who want to learn from these great women of the past.”
—Jayanthi Benjamin, Director of Field Education and Women Student Development, Moody Graduate School

“Sacred Friendships is a remarkable work! I invite you to come and be refreshed as you are enlightened by the many discoveries presented in this masterpiece. Every woman will see herself in this book and sometimes more than once. Every man will develop a deeper appreciation for the struggle, sacrifice and sensitivity for soul care of the women they have encountered. Bob and Susan take us on a journey of hope, help, and healing as they uncover the treasured stories of women who loved God and demonstrated their spirituality in numerous ways worth emulating. Through sustaining, healing, reconciling and guiding, the women of Sacred Friendships nurtured to maturity men and women of their day. And now we too can benefit from the graces they extended. The “Learn Together Lessons” at the end of each chapter are also very helpful as we hear their hunger and thirst for righteousness. You can share in the dialogue of lessons they have learned while implementing practical application strategies from the context of the culture in which they gave their clarion call for Christlikness. This text will help counselors, professors, pastors, ministry leaders, and care-givers move beyond ethics and skills to a place of compassion and mercy.
—Dr. Sabrina D. Black, Clinical Director, Abundant Life Counseling Center and A Healing Place Ministry

“In a time when much is being said about advocating for the voiceless, little has been done to memorialize the specific contributions of godly women who teach, challenge, and encourage us to live lives worthy of the God who calls us His. Sacred Friendships fills a much needed void by recording the imprint that known and unknown women have left throughout time on their families, their churches, their communities, and our history. I found myself hungry to read the stories of these women who made such a difference in their own unique and female way. Women whose strength and courage, wisdom and insight, leadership and followership challenged me as a woman to consider what my Father may be calling me to fulfill in the chapters of His story. Adding this important feminine element to our Christian heritage does not negate the powerful ways men have led, but rather gives a truer, more holistic, and richer perspective of the impact and modeling made by both genders. Women and men alike will be encouraged, inspired, surprised, transformed, and challenged by the stories and lessons found in the pages of Sacred Friendships.
—Deb Musser, MA, Assistant Professor, Department of Counseling and Interpersonal Relations, Grace College

Guides on the Path to God

Endorsements for Sacred Friendships
Part Two

Note: The following contains endorsements from Christian leaders for Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships will be released by BMH Books in late summer 2009. For information on pre-ordering Sacred Friendships, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com with a subject line of “Pre-Order.”

“Great read! These are important stories to tell and vital stories to read—great men of God were influenced and encouraged by great women of God. Sacred Friendships retraces the lives and perspectives of many women who walked their lives in faith. The authors sketch the spiritual words and deeds of women whose relationships with God caused them to minister grace and truth to those around them. This ‘cloud of witnesses’ humbled and challenged me all at once, and inspired renewed commitment to live each day with an eternal perspective.”
—Lynelle Buchanan, MA, Chair, BA in Counseling, Baptist Bible College, Clarks Summit, PA

“The stories of guides on the path to God are an important part of the resources that God has given us to educate us in spiritual guidance. But most of the stories we have been told are stories of men, which means only half of the history of the Church is being recited, and this in an area where women have contributed so much. In such a context, Sacred Friendships must be counted a special treasure. Containing fifty-two stories of female travelers and guides to God, sampled from the breadth of church’s history and interpreted from a classical Christian perspective, this book does more than fill a void. It allows the lives of these women to educate us today, and by their example, to draw us into the holy love of God.”
—Dr. Eric Johnson, Professor of Christian Psychology, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; Founder and Director, Society of Christian Psychologists

“What a blessing to be exposed to Sacred Friendships. It came at a great time, because I had just been wondering if we had any strongly historical books on women in ministry. This will be a great aid to those of us teaching in the area of women’s ministry. I also see it guiding ministry approaches to both men and women in the area of spiritual formation. Sacred Friendships is a needed guide to understanding how the past can shape our theory and practice in the present-day conundrum of Christian counseling and ministry issues. Kellemen and Ellis have done a masterful job of interpreting the words and works of godly women from church history and have gleaned guiding principles for ministries concerned with spiritual formation in our day and age. Sacred Friendships is not just an anthology of these women’s voices, but a thoughtful reflection on what they uniquely add to the stream of Christian counsel flowing through the waves of human history. The insights gathered by the authors and the penetrating discussion questions posed in each chapter provide helpful guidance for those who are interested in equipping others in soul care professions and ministries. This book would be useful for training soul care workers in academic and church-type settings because it enlists a broad spectrum of scholarship, but also connects that scholarship to practical issues. Bravo!”
—Christy Hill, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Spiritual Formation and Women’s Ministry, Grace Theological Seminary

“Sacred Friendships is a heartwarming historical anthology of women whose conviction and pluck shaped history. Rarely have I picked up a book to read that has so encouraged me to use my gendered gifting as a means to promote the growth of others. The stories contained in this book elevate the role of sister, friend, daughter, mother, wife, counselor, and spiritual director as the means God will use to shape lives. I learned there are no ordinary women: like the women in Sacred Friendships we leave a story behind to be told no matter when we live, or who we live among. What historical story will others tell about how you used your gift? The women in Sacred Friendships shaped ancient history, stepped up to be martyred for their faith, spoke words of comfort to soothe those they served, fought for justice when prejudice was unbridled, used wise words to encourage depressed church fathers, mentored theologians, and rebuked authorities. Each woman chose to follow in the footsteps of the Maker of gender by using her mind and words to reflect Him in unique ways.
—Penny Freeman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Graduate Counseling, Philadelphia Biblical University

Julie Clinton Endorses Sacred Friendships

Julie Clinton Endorses Sacred Friendships

Note: The following is from the Foreword to Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships will be released by BMH Books in late summer 2009. For information on pre-ordering Sacred Friendships, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com with a subject line of “Pre-Order.”

Women Today Longing to Be Encouraged by Women of Yesterday

Imagine 10,000 women lifting their hands to the God they love. Hundreds of them lining up at the altar. Some weeping. A few smiling. Many on their knees before the Lord. All of them hungry to know God more intimately. As President and host of Extraordinary Women conferences, I watch tens of thousands of women fill arenas and mega-churches across America to connect with other women, to be encouraged by God’s Word, and to find hope and healing for the hurt in their lives. They are women who are making a difference in the lives of their children, marriages, churches, and communities. These amazing women of today long to be encouraged by equally remarkable women from the halls of church history.

Hebrews 12:1 speaks of a great cloud of spiritual witnesses. Ordinary people who lived extraordinary lives. For the past 2,000 years, that cloud has expanded exponentially. What we so often fail to hear is the incredible testimony of those extraordinary women in that great cloud, their godly lives, life lessons, and powerful ministries.

A Compelling Book for Men and Women

Dr. Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis, in their compelling work, Sacred Friendships, provide a voice for the voiceless. Like never before, they tell “her story”—the story of our great female forbears in the faith. As they tell it, and as we listen, we do not simply learn historical facts; we are empowered and equipped to practice soul care and spiritual direction today.

By the way, please do not assume that Sacred Friendships is for women only! Nothing could be further from the truth. Sacred Friendships is a gift from women of the past to women and men of the present—a gift that teaches all of us how to use Christ’s changeless truth to change lives in our ever-changing times.

That said, Sacred Friendships is also a gift to women. It validates the twin truths of the spiritual equality of women and of the spiritual giftedness of women. I promise you, you can’t read this book without praising God for how He has and will continue to use women to advance His Kingdom purposes. As you read the previously untold stories of over fifty extraordinary women, if you are a woman, you will never look at yourself the same way again. If you are a man, you will never look at your wife, daughter, mother, or sister the same way again.

A Wealth of Life-Changing Principles

Lay people—male and female, students, professional Christian counselors, pastors, and spiritual directors will all glean a wealth of life-changing ministry principles from the unburied treasure of historic feminine soul care and spiritual direction. You will finish Sacred Friendships saying, “I never realized how fascinating church history is. I never fully appreciated the depth of the spiritual riches that arose through the previously unheard history of women’s ministry. I never understood how relevant it is to my life and ministry today.”

Sit back and enjoy this amazing gift.

Warmly,

Julie Clinton

President, Extraordinary Women

Celebrate Women Heroes of the Faith!

Sacred Friendships: Water My Soul

Note: The following is an excerpt from Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis. Sacred Friendships will be released by BMH Books in late summer 2009. For information on pre-ordering Sacred Friendships, email rpm.ministries@gmail.com with a subject line of “Pre-Order.”

Our Passion: Giving Voice to the Voiceless

One resounding passion has motivated our writing of Sacred Friendships: to be a voice for the voiceless. For far too long, people have silenced the voices of women believers throughout church history. We address this imbalance by illuminating the forgotten history of over half of the Christian community.

G. K. Chesterton observes that history is democracy extended through time. History gives “votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to those who merely happen to be walking around.”

Sacred Friendships gives vote and voice to our female forebears in the faith. It listens to their voices communicating the unique shapes and textures of their practice of soul care and spiritual direction.

A Sacred Legacy: Uncovering Buried Treasure

Sacred Friendships uncovers the buried treasure of wisdom about soul care and spiritual direction as practiced by women throughout the history of Christianity. Christian women from all races and nationalities have always helped hurting and hardened people through the personal ministries of sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding. Sacred Friendships uncovers the great spiritual riches of this diverse feminine Christian tradition.

By listening to their historical narratives, we learn to speak to today’s world with relevance—sharing Christ’s changeless truth for our changing times. Sacred Friendships assists female and male lay spiritual friends, spiritual directors, pastoral care-givers, professional Christian counselors, and students of all races to become more spiritually aware and skillful by deriving modern implications from these recovered resources.

Sacred Friendships contributes to contemporary soul care and spiritual direction as seen through the eyes, experienced in the souls, and told from the lips of a multi-cultural rainbow of past female believers. As we drink at the well of these amazing women, they water our souls by helping us to develop contemporary models of lay spiritual friendship, spiritual direction, women’s ministry, pastoral care-giving, and professional Christian counseling that are distinctively grounded both in the Word of God and in the sacred legacy of women’s ministry.

A Spiritual Ministry: Telling the Untold Stories

To accomplish our goal, we tell the untold story of women’s soul care and spiritual direction from the early Church to the modern era. Sacred Friendships listens to the voices of these previously voiceless women—hearing the feminine story told by women of all races and nationalities for the benefit of all women and men.

We begin our narrative where the amazing journey began—with the records of the lives and ministries of the Church Mothers and martyrs. Many of them were the physical mothers and biological sisters of the great Church Fathers. By listening to the voices of these courageous women of the faith, we detect new textures from the halls of church history.

The story continues with the sayings of the Desert Mothers who boldly provided feminine soul care and spiritual direction, not only for women, but for men. Their unsilenced voices provide readers with a new melody in the ancient ministry of spiritual friendship.

Moving to the Medieval times, we hear the feminine words of lay women, wives, single women, writers, and poets. Here, for the first time, whole books of spirituality furnish comprehensive manuals for soul care and spiritual direction from a feminine perspective.

The story also visits women of the Reformation and post-Reformation era. We hear the thought-provoking insights of wives of Reformers, pastors’ wives, mothers of denominational leaders, and women who directed substantial ministries of their own.

We then trace the continued development and growth of women’s soul care and spiritual direction in the modern era. Letters of spiritual counsel and books about women’s ministry express the depth of individual and corporate mutual ministry.

Throughout each chapter, we weave together individual stories and highlight common themes. We invite you to enjoy the voices of diverse famous and not-so-famous women who tell their own stories. We pray that their stories will impact your life and ministry.

Listening to the Silenced Voices

Throughout Sacred Friendships we will listen to the previously silenced voices of over fifty godly Christian women spanning nearly two-thousand years, five continents, and a great diversity of nationalities and races. Centuries later, surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, we build upon the foundation they laid.

Our prayer as you read Sacred Friendships is that you will marvel at the depth of the spiritual riches that arose through the previously unheralded history of women’s soul care and spiritual direction. More than that, whether you are female or male, it is our desire that when you finish Sacred Friendships you will be empowered to sustain, heal, reconcile, and guide the people you love based upon the wisdom and practice of these female predecessors in the faith.

Sacred Friendships Cover

Please Vote: Help Us Choose Our Book Cover Image!

Friends,

Please help us to choose our book cover design.

Which one do you like best?

We can mix and match colors, images, fonts, positioning, so also let us know what elements/features you like best.

To vote, you can:

1. Comment on the blog.

2. Direct message me on Twitter.

3. Comment on Facebook.

4. Email me: bob.kellemen@gmail.com

Thanks for your help!

Bob

Why Male Biblical Counselors Need the Perspective of Female Biblical Counselors

Why Some Biblical Counseling Is Only Half Biblical!
Part Seven: Why Male Biblical Counselors
Need the Perspective of Female Biblical Counselors

*Note: If you’re disappointed that I’m saying that some biblical counseling is only half biblical, then please read my comments at the end of my first post in this series: http://tinyurl.com/n8k799.

My Premise

Some modern biblical counseling considers the seriousness of sin—sinning, but spends much less time equipping people to minister to the gravity of grinding affliction—suffering. When we provide counseling for sin, but fail to provide counseling and counselor training for suffering, then such biblical counseling is only half biblical.

How We Lost Our Way

Yesterday’s post (http://tinyurl.com/m945pr) explained that the failure to integrate the African American comprehensive perspective of suffering and sin is one reason why White Evangelical biblical counselors lost their way.

Today we add another example of intercultural dearth: the failure to focus on the contribution of Christian women soul care-givers and spiritual directors.

This dearth is why RPM Ministries is so passionate about Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling. When our counseling is predominantly taught by one segment of one cultural group (in this case, White males like myself), we lose the comprehensive perspective.

In the new book released later this summer, Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (http://tinyurl.com/ql8fqc), Susan Ellis and I share life-changing and ministry-altering narratives from 52 Christian women in Church history. Consistently they unite biblical ministry for suffering and sin.

Following Christian Women’s Historical Compass

The biblical counseling approach of women in Church history is holistic, comprehensive. They practice sustaining and healing soul care for suffering and reconciling and guiding spiritual direction for sin. As Susan and I show in our Introduction:

"Susanna Wesley (1669-1742), mother of Wesleyan pioneers John and Charles, exemplifies in one breath these four interrelated callings. “We are to be instructed, because we are ignorant [guiding]; and healed, because we are sick [healing]; and disciplined, because so apt to wander and go astray [reconciling]; and succored and supported, because we are so often tempted [sustaining].”[i] Susanna Wesley and uncountable Christian women like her followed a spiritual compass. Instead of N-S-E-W, their soul care and spiritual direction compass points read S-H-R-G: Sustaining, Healing, Reconciling, and Guiding. Throughout Sacred Friendships, they will gift us with their wisdom—wisdom for ministry today to God’s glory forever."

Don’t for a moment imagine that Christian women only focused on the “touchy-feely” area of suffering. Read Sacred Friendships and you will see that they out-confront the best male biblical counselor! It’s not that women provide the “softer side” of biblical counseling. It’s that women offer the comprehensive, non-compartmentalized “both sides” of biblical counseling.

Conclusion

Because we White Evangelical male biblical counselors pulled the pendulum back from a focus on self and because we did so with too little awareness of and connection with our sisters in Christ, we compartmentalized sin and suffering and minimized the development of biblical counseling approaches that produced comprehensive sacred friendships.

Where Do We Go From Here?

In our next post, we’ll explore additional reasons why some biblical counseling compartmentalized sin and suffering and focused too little on equipping God’s people to be a hospital for the hurting.

[i]Clark, Memoirs of the Wesley Family, 398.

Be a Publisher for a Day!

Be a Publisher for a Day!

This summer, BMH Books will release my fourth book, this one co-authored with Susan Ellis. We are in the process of finalizing the title and sub-title, and could use your help.

The book explores how Christian women for 2,000 years have provided one another ministry through soul care and spiritual direction—what we might call today lay biblical counseling and spiritual friendship.

In no particular order, see below for possible titles.

Please email me at bob.kellemen@gmail.com with your favorite title and subtitle. Feel free to suggest another related title/sub-title.

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of Church History

Sacred Friendships: Listening to the Voices of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors

Women Heroes of Church History: Celebrating Life Lessons from the Legacy of Christian Women

Women Heroes of Church History: Listening to the Voices of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors

Women Heroes of Church History: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors

Women Heroes of Church History: Celebrating the Legacy of Godly Women of the Faith

Listening to the Silenced Voices

For far too long, church history has been HIS-story. For far too long, the powerful, empowering voices of women have been silenced. It is a sad pattern that we can trace back all the way to Hagar!

Her Story of HIS Story

Fortunately, a fair and balanced study of church history shows that women have always been about the business of helping hurting and hardened people. Women have always spoken God’s truth in love to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth.

It’s time for church history once again also to be Her-story!

That’s why my co-author (Susan Ellis) and I have penned Sacred Friendships: Listening to the Voices of Women Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors. In it you read about fifty-two amazing women. No longer are their voices silenced.

What Others Are Saying

Here’s what Professor Cathering Mueller-Bell of Grand Rapids Theological Seminary has to say about Sacred Friendships.

“Sacred Friendships is a refreshing portrayal and celebration of the impact that women have made in the lives of others that has reflected the image of God in the healing process for those who are suffering. At last we see a book that promotes the fusion of biblical truth and loving grace as the foundation for the complexities of the sanctification process. Sacred Friendships unveils the rich heritage of diverse women in Christian ministry from a global, developmental perspective which informs a model of soul care that is powerful by suggesting an approach that provides all of the elements necessary for authentic spiritual transformation.”

Listen to what Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School and Senior Editor of Christianity Today says about Sacred Friendships.

“Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis have done a masterful job bringing together here the stories and voices of Christian women throughout the history of the church. A wonderful anthology of women’s voices. They steer an amazing course between feminist misreadings on the one hand and irresponsible neglect on the other. A superb presentation! I am sending the table of contents to all our Beeson faculty members encouraging them to look for the book.”

Benefit Now

For a 50% off e-copy you can visit:

http://www.rpmbooks.org/credit_card_orders.html#sacred

Sarah Palin: Sexism Then and Now

Sarah Palin: Sexism Then and Now

I have a confession to make. I’m upset. Yes, angry at the sexist, biased, and vicious coverage of Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Readers of my blog know how hard I work to stay out of politics. But you also know how hard I work to be a voice for the voiceless—to speak up for minorities and the oppressed.

Sarah Palin is being oppressed by the bigoted, biased, arrogant media.

Well, history is on her side. Consider just a few quotes from and about great women in church history—quotes collated from my latest book, Sacred Friendships: Listening to the Voices of Soul Care-Givers and Spiritual Directors.

“Just because I am a woman, must I therefore believe that I must not tell you about the goodness of God” (Julian of Norwich).[1]

“Women’s history has certainly come a long way in a very short time. Perhaps the reason for this phenomenal progress is the fact that so much of it was there, just waiting to be rescued from obscurity by interested historians.”[2]

“‘Where were the women?’ ‘What did they have to say?’ ‘How did they shape the life and thought of the church?’ For many of us, the courses we took in church history or the history of Christian theology left these questions unanswered.”[3]

“Books surveying the history of Christianity have been traditionally ‘his stories’—describing the flaws and celebrating the achievements of great theologians, eloquent preachers, and powerful administrators.”[4]

Here’s the thing. Women have always been pushed down. This is especially true of strong women who dare to think for themselves, who dare to act on their convictions.

Take just one such example from the courageous life of Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin is clearly pro-life. She was so pro-life that she carried a Down Syndrome fetus to term despite the usual medical pressure to have him aborted. To the pro-choice media and establishment this only proves she is an extremist on the abortion issue. To most people who fall in the middle, this says “here is a woman who is true to her convictions.” But, nowhere does the standard media narrative about America break down more than on her “feminist” posture. The standard media and establishment argument is that she really can't be a feminist because she is pro-life. But, the public saw a rather rugged husband who gave up his 20-year stint as an oil worker for BP to become the primary care giver for their five children when she became Governor. To real people making real life decisions, that is a powerful statement about gender issues.[5]

How ironic. How revealing. The supposedly enlightened press still lives in the dark ages when it comes to allowing a woman to have her own mind, to demonstrate the courage of her convictions.


[1]Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love, 11.
[2]Ranft, A Woman’s Way, 1.
[3]Oden, In Her Own Words, 11.
[4]MacHaffie, Her Story, xi.
[5]Lawrence B. Lindsey, “The Public, the Press, and Palin,” The Weekly Standard, 9/3/08.

Susanna Wesley: Spiritual Guide Par Excellence, Part III

Susanna Wesley: Spiritual Guide Par Excellence, Part III

We know of Susanna Wesley (1669-1742) because of her famous sons, John and Charles. Yet she is a spiritual guide in her own right.

Soul Care in Life and in Death: On the Borders of Eternity

We would be mistaken to assume that Susanna Wesley provided spiritual direction without commensurate soul care. True, in her humility and honesty, she felt at times unfit to offer sustaining and healing counsel. John Wesley wrote his mother concerning affliction and the best method of profiting from it. On July 26, 1727, she responds, “It is certainly true that I have had large experience of what the world calls adverse fortune. But I have not made those improvements in piety and virtue, under the discipline of Providence, that I ought to have done; therefore I humbly conceive myself to be unfit for an assistant to another in affliction, since I have so ill performed my own duty.”[i] Though perhaps overly self-depreciating, her words do remind us of the truth that the best
preparation for soul care is taking our own soul care issues to the great Soul Physicians.

That Susanna was overly deferential about her soul care abilities is easy to discern given the records we have of her care for hurting people. When an unnamed female friend was afflicted in body and depressed in spirit, Susanna describes to another female acquaintance how she empathized with her. “I heartily sympathize with the young lady in her affliction, and wish it was in my power to speak a word in season, that might alleviate the trouble of her mind, which has such an influence on the weakness of her body.”[ii]

Of course, Susanna realizes that human comfort only carries so much weight. So she points this sufferer to her caring Savior. “It is with relation to our manifold wants and weaknesses, and the discouragements and despondencies consequent thereupon, that the blessed Jesus hath undertaken to be our great high priest, physician, advocate, and Saviour. . . . His deep compassion supposes our misery; and his assistance, and the supplies of his grace, imply our wants, and the disadvantages we labor under.[iii]

After sustaining this hurting young women by helping her to see that her illness is normal and not due to her sin, Susanna then shares healing care by persuading her to see Christ goodness. “And here, madam, let me beseech you to join with me in admiring and adoring the infinite and incomprehensible love of God to fallen man, which he hath been pleased to manifest to us in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ.”[iv] Understanding that there are no spiritual quick fixes, including in spiritual conversations, she invites ongoing connection. “I shall be very glad to hear often from you.”[v] Given her many duties in the home and in her neighborhood ministry, it is remarkable what an open heart Susanna demonstrates.

To her son, Charles, who had been struggling with his faith, she writes empathetically on October 19, 1738, “It is with much pleasure I find your mind somewhat easier than formerly, and I heartily thank God for it. The spirit of man may sustain his infirmity,—but a wounded spirit who can bear? If this hath been your case, it has been sad indeed.”[vi]

Humble as she was, Susanna could receive soul care just as easily as she dispensed it. Writing to Charles on December 27, 1739, she shares about a recent visit from his brother, John. “You cannot more desire to see me, than I do to see you. You brother . . . has just been with me, and much revived my spirit. Indeed, I have often found that he never speaks in my hearing without my receiving some spiritual benefit.”[vii] She increases her vulnerable openness when she admits, “But, my dear Charles, still I want either him or you; for indeed, in the most literal sense, I am become a little child, and want continual succor. ‘As iron sharpeneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend.’ I feel much comfort and support form religious conversation when I can obtain it.”[viii]

She could equally accept care from non-family members. “I have been prevented from finishing my letter. I complained I had none to converse with me on spiritual things; but for these several days I have had the conversation of many good Christians, who have refreshed in some measure my fainting spirits.”[ix]

Perhaps there is no life event where soul care is more necessary than the end of life. John gives the following account of his mother’s last moments as she began her ascent to heaven. “I left Bristol on the evening of Sunday, July 18, 1742, and on Tuesday came to London. I found my mother on the borders of eternity; but she had no doubts nor fear, nor any desire but as soon as God should call, ‘to depart and be with Christ.’”[x] How we live on the borders of eternity says much about how we have lived up to that point. It also speaks either comfort or despair to our loved ones.

On Sunday, August 1, 1742, John writes of his mother’s funeral and shares Susanna’s grave inscription.

Here lies the body of Mrs. Susannah Wesley,
the youngest and last surviving daughter of Dr. Samuel Annesley.

In sure and steadfast hope to rise
And claim her mansion in the skies,
A Christian here her flesh laid down
The cross exchanging for a crown.

True daughter of affliction, she,
Inured to pain and misery,
Mourn’d a long night of griefs and fears,
A legal night of seventy years:

The Father then reveal’d his Son,
Him in the broken bread made known;
She knew and felt her sins forgiven,
And found the earnest of her heaven.

Meet for the fellowship above,
She heard the call, ‘Arise, my love,’
‘I come,’ her dying looks replied,
And lamblike, as her Lord, she died.[xi]

Susanna Wesley could die “lamblike” and could die granting comfort to her mourning children because she believes that God is our supreme good. Seven years before her death, on November 27, 1735, a few months after her husband’s death, she shares that experiential truth with John. “God is Being itself! The I AM! And therefore must necessarily be the supreme Good. He is so infinitely blessed, that every perception of his blissful presence imparts a vital gladness to the heart. Every degree of approach toward him is, in the same proportion, a degree of happiness.”[xii] In this last letter she ever penned, she offers spiritual consolation based upon spiritual communion with God. Truly this was a fitting legacy to her life.




[i]Ibid., 337.
[ii]Ibid., 397.
[iii]Ibid., 397-398.
[iv]Ibid., 398.
[v]Ibid., 399.
[vi]Ibid., 406.
[vii]Ibid., 409.
[viii]Ibid., 408.
[ix]Ibid., 409.
[x]Ibid., 413.
[xi]Ibid., 414.
[xii]Ibid., 341-342.

Susanna Wesley: Spiritual Guide Par Excellence, Part II

Susanna Wesley: Spiritual Guide Par Excellence, Part II

We know of Susanna Wesley (1669-1742) because of her famous sons, John and Charles. Yet she is a spiritual guide in her own right.

Feminine Spiritual Direction: Doing Something More

When they hear of Susanna’s ministry to her children, some may say, “So, from Susanna Wesley we learn that a women’s place is in the home?” She is not a good source for that bromide. The preeminent biographer of the Wesley family, Adam Clarke, explains that, “When Mr. Wesley was from home, Mrs. Wesley felt it her duty to keep up the worship of God in her house. She not only prayed for, but with her family. At such times she took the spiritual direction and care of the children and servants on herself; and sometimes even the neighbors shared the benefit of her instructions.”[i]

Clarke provides a lengthier original account as transcribed in a letter by a Dr. Whitehead. “During her husband’s absence, Mrs. Wesley felt it her duty to pay more particular attention to her children, especially on the Lord’s day . . . She read prays to them, and also a sermon, and conversed with them on religious and devotional subjects. Some neighbors happening to come in during these exercises, being permitted to stay, were so pleased and profited as to desire permission to come again. This was granted; a good report of the meeting became general; many requested leave to attend, and the house was soon filled more than two hundred at last attending; and many were obliged to go away for want of room.”[ii]

Now, lest we think Susanna faced no opposition, it is important to note that when she told her husband, he approved of “her zeal and good sense,” but objected to the continuance of the meetings because it would look “peculiar,” because of her gender, and because of his position as pastor.[iii] She responded in a letter dated February 6, 1712.

To the objection that it looked peculiar, she responds that is only “because in our corrupt age the utmost care and diligence have been used to banish all discourse of god or spiritual concerns out of society, as if religion were never to appear out of the closet, and we were to be ashamed of nothing so much as professing ourselves to be Christians.”[iv] Susanna further notes that the problem is that people only want to hear from the pulpit and not in “common conversation” anything that is “serious, or that may any way advance the glory of God or the salvation of souls.” How easily this could have been written in the 21st Century!

To the objection of her gender, she replies, “That as I am a woman, so I am also mistress of a large family. And though the superior charge of the souls contained in it lies upon you, as head of the family, and as their minister, yet in your absence I cannot but look upon every soul you leave under my care as a talent committed to me, under a trust, by the great Lord of all the families of haven and earth.”[v] While her thinking may not satisfy combatants on either side of the modern dispute about the “role of women in ministry,” her wisdom in navigating the culture of the day is commendable. Susanna understood that ultimately she was answerable to God. “And if I am unfaithful to him, or to you, in neglecting to improve these talents, how shall I answer unto him when he shall commend me to render an account of my stewardship?”[vi]

Susanna continues in her letter by explaining to her husband that she had recently read a book about missionaries that inspired her zeal so that she prayed that “I might do something more than I do.”[vii] This prayer surely resonates with many of the women studied in Sacred Friendships. Out of their enforced voicelessness due to societal norms, they, like many women today, longed to do “something more than I do.” Susanna further clarifies that she then resolved to start “doing more” with her family. “I take such a proportion of time as I can best spare every night to discourse with each child by itself, on something that relates to its principal concerns. On Monday I talk with Molly; on Tuesday with Hetty; Wednesday with Nancy; Thursday with Jacky; Friday with Patty’ Saturday with Charles; and with Emily and Sukey together, on Sunday.”[viii]

Then, “something more” mushroomed. “With those few neighbors who then came to me I discoursed more freely and affectionately than before. I chose the best and most awakening sermons we had, and I spent more times with them in such exercises. Since this our company has increased every night, for I dare deny none that ask admittance. Last Sunday, I believe we had above two hundred, and yet many went away for want of room.”[ix] The explosive results were exceedingly, abundantly above all that Susanna could ask or imagine. ““But I never durst positively presume to hope that God would make use of me as an instrument in doing good; the furthest I durst go was, It may be: who can tell? With God all things are possible.”[x]

As to his third objection that her ministry reflected poorly on him, she responds, “Therefore, why any should reflect upon you . . . because your wife endeavors to draw people to the church, and to restrain them, by reading and other persuasions, from their profanation of God’s most holy day, I cannot conceive. But if any should be so mad as to do it, I wish you would not regard it. For my part, I value no censure on this account. I have long since shook hands with the world, and I heartily wish I had never given them more reason to speak against me.”[xi] We see in her words a mild rebuke for her husband’s fear of what people think.

Mr. Wesley “felt the power and wisdom by which she spoke, and cordially gave his approbation to her conduct.”[xii] Though he gave his blessing for her to continue, others complained to him. He then wrote again to Susanna desiring her to discontinue the meetings. On February 25, 1712, she wrote back. She now replaces her previously gentle admonishment with more forceful words. “I shall not inquire how it was possible that you should be prevailed on by the senseless clamors of two or three of the worst of your parish, to condemn what you so lately approved.”[xiii]

She then outlines the illogic, the mistaken theology, the false guilt by false association, the jealousy, and the false labeling behind the few objectors, while also noting that the vast majority in the congregation not only approved, but benefited from the meetings. In summary, she says to her husband, “Now, I beseech you, weigh all these things in an impartial balance: on the one side, the honor of almighty God, the doing much good to many souls, and the friendship of the best among whom we live; on the other, (if folly, impiety, and vanity may abide in the scale against so ponderous a weight,) the senseless objections of a few scandalous persons, laughing at us, and censuring us as precise and hypocritical; and when you have duly considered all things, let m have your positive determination.”[xiv]

Humbly bold to the end, she concludes with this forceful request. “If you do, after all, think fit to dissolve this assembly, do not tell me that you desire me to do it, for that will not satisfy my conscience; but send me your positive command, in such full and express terms as may absolve me from all guilt and punishment, for neglecting this opportunity of doing good, when you and I shall appear before the great and awful tribunal of our LORD JESUS Christ.”[xv]

Dr. Whitehead summarizes with these words. “Though I find no further record of these transactions, yet I take it for granted that this letter was decisive, and Mrs. Wesley’s meetings continued till her husband returned to Epworth.”[xvi]

As Richard Baxter praised his wife as a skilled soul physician, so Adam Clarke in his biography, acclaimed Susanna Wesley as an expert spiritual director. “The good sense, piety, observation, and experience of Mrs. Wesley, qualified her to be a wise counselor in almost every affair in life, and a sound spiritual director in most things that concerned the salvation of the soul. Her sons, while at Oxford, continued to profit by her advice and counsel, as they had done while more immediately under her care.”[xvii]

[i]Clarke, 385.
[ii]Ibid., 386.
[iii]Ibid., 387.
[iv]Ibid.
[v]Ibid.
[vi]Ibid.
[vii]Ibid., 388.
[viii]Ibid.
[ix]Ibid., 389.
[x]Ibid.
[xi]Ibid.
[xii]Ibid., 390.
[xiii]Ibid., 391.
[xiv]Ibid., 392.
[xv]Ibid., 393.
[xvi]Ibid.
[xvii]Ibid., 394.